


A Star In The Rough

by MissMarrinette



Series: Charting The Stars [1]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Angst, Awesome Phasma, Bonding, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Hate to Love, Literary References & Allusions, Non-Canon Relationship, Not Canon Compliant, Parents, Romance, Slow Romance, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, epigraphs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-02-07 05:49:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 61
Words: 74,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12834642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMarrinette/pseuds/MissMarrinette
Summary: Rey is not cut out for a Jedi. She knew that. So she tries to escape it all and explore the galaxy. And who does she run into but her favorite person to hate.A romance brews as Rey tries to find a home among the stars, and as Kylo figures out that maybe this scavenger isn't the problem in his life.





	1. The Good Samaritan

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sasstasticmad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasstasticmad/gifts), [mrbluerememberyou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrbluerememberyou/gifts).



> Its a beginning of a new life for Rey. It's not going to be done before the new movie but I'm going with it anyways. There will be more I promise.
> 
> Also, the chapters will be short, but I post on the daily, so fear not my children.
> 
> Also IMPORTANT: this work is NOT beta'd so please forgive any spelling errors or grammar mistakes. I can only do so much. Thank you

"Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him."

·····

"Go home, Rey."

Home. _Home_? She travelled across the galaxy to find him. Nearly died. A lot. And made enemies she didn't need, or want for that matter. She left what was her home and any hope that someone may come back for her. _Home_? If there was only such a place for her.

"I have no home, Master Skywalker."

He looked at her, his wise eyes bore through her.

"Then, explore the galaxy Rey. This is not what you wish to be, nor where you wish to be. Go explore my child. And find who you are."

She nodded. He was right. She didnt want this. Not right now. Probably not ever. She was a free spirit and too stubborn to change.

"But my use of the Force?" She asked.

Skywalker nodded. "There are those who can use the force, who are neither light not dark. You, my dear Rey, may fall right in between. I have taught you what I can, and you know of the light side. But you also know the dark. Go, Rey. Find the balance in the force, and in your life. Learn from it." He looked off into the distance. "The way of a Jedi is lonely. I would not wish that on someone with your heart."

·····

 _Anywhere_.

She could go anywhere.

But where would she go?

She boarded the _Falcon_ and turned on the engines reaching over the cockpit to work both pilots' sides, the empty chair next to her being an obstacle and a nuisance.

Why the _Falcon_ was left to her she didnt know. But Chewie gave it to her, claiming it wasn't the same without Han. Which she understood but didn't at the same time. She never had a bond with someone like that. Never had anyone to lose.

She took off of the small green island and set off into a new chapter in her life. After sending a quick message to Organa, and an insisting that she get paid for her troubles with helping the resistance, she plugged in random coordinates into the control board and merged into hyperspace.

She came out into a quaint system with lush green planets.

At least it wasn't sand.

She neared one of the smaller planets closer to the star of the system and landed, setting the _Falcon_ down just outside a main city.The datapad read that it was Kepler-452b. As if that meant anything to her. It was liveable and for the love of force it wasn't sand. Or snow.

She hiked through the trees still a little marvelled on how tall they grew and how old they could be. Each having its own force signature and life reading. Trees would always be something that fascinated Rey, after being stuck in sun and sand for her whole life. The air was dense and humidity made her fly away hairs stick to her face.

She smelled the smoke and fire before she saw the first building. Upon making her way to the village, she saw it in devastation, with First Order flags being waved on every flag pole and his cursed face plastered on every holo. Her blood boiled at the sight of him. Why would he be in the first place she went? Didnt she leave to get away from all this?

An old woman broke her from her thoughts.

"Young lady,"

Rey turned. The old woman was in the side of the street, covered in dirt and clothes that were barely hanging into her thin and worn frame. The street was deserted and her force signature gave no sign of hostility. Rey drew near to her slowly.

"Can you help me, Miss?" The old woman asked. Rey shrugged mentally and thought why not help. New planet, new story, might as well start somewhere.

"What is it you require?"

"Please, help me find my home. I was forced out of it in the middle of the night during the attack, and I'm not sure where I am here." The old woman replied. Rey crouched down infront of her.

"Where is it that you live?" Offering a hand to help her up.

"In the middle of the city. In a humble little home."

Rey nodded and helped the frail woman to her feet.

"Lets get you home then. Can you walk?"

The old woman nodded.

"Thank you child."

Rey glanced around the high crumbling walls around her looking for something that would indicate where they are.

"Wait here." She told her worn companion and climbed the nearest building for an access point to higher up.

It gave her a view of the city, or what was left of it. They were in the very outskirts. She could see a grand palace in the distance and decided that that had to be the center of the city. Climbing back down she told the woman what she saw.

"Quite the scavenger you are young lady." The old woman mused.

"Rey, my name is Rey." This young lady stuff was getting on her nerves. She wasn't a lady and she hated being young.

The old woman chuckled. "Alright, Rey, shall we?"

Rey nodded and offered the old woman her staff to use as a makeshift cane. She might have said that she could walk but Rey didnt like the looks of it.

They picked their way through the rubble and the reminders of who laid waste to the city around them.

Walking in silence Rey let her mind wander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo. So there's that. The first chapter of a new beginning for me and Rey.  
> More to come.


	2. Where does the First Order get its funds for Datapads and droids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren at a perspective time as out little scavenger.

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry."  


·····

Kylo glared out into the vast abyss of space in front of him. The visor in his mask impaired his vision only slightly. Snoke thought it necessary so he could learn to use his sense of the force more then his sense of sight. He wasnt one to argue with Snoke.  
  
Somewhere behind him, General Hux was droning on about the recent victory and next battle plans for the First Order, but he paid no mind to the annoying red head. It wasnt his job anyway. He played his roll and only Snoke could give him an order that he'd follow. Besides they had just attacked a city that had ties with the Resistance, and it was successful for the First Order. As far as he knew Snoke was pleased with the destruction he had caused during the attack. Pleased for now.  
  
His eyes scanned the stars and for a fleeting moment the girl crossed his mind. That scavenger. The one who had cost him countless nights of sleep due to horrific nightmares and had him tortured brutally by Snoke for not being strong enough. She was a weakness. She was a scar on his face and a reminder that he wasn't who he was meant to be yet. And he hated her. With a passion. From the day they met all she did was get in his way. Made him feel things he shouldn't as a future Sith. Did he feel a thing when he murdered thousands? No. There were no regrets when he gave the command to destroy fleets and planets, even whole star systems. But that wretched girl had made him feel. Feel something when killing his father. Feel something about being ordered to kill his mother. Feel something for her. And that made him cost dearly when he had returned to Snoke. There was no room for weaknesses in a Sith Lord. No room for feeling anything but anger and hate. The days and days of torture and pain had driven them away. As they should be. Hate and anger only flared in his soul. As it should be.  
  
"....-Ren. Master Ren."  
  
Kylo glared something fierce at Hux.  
  
"What." His mask hissed.  
  
Hux raised his eyebrows and glanced at Kylos hand. It had destroyed the holopad that he held with the latest specs of the First Order. Kylo drew in a sharp breath and unclenched his hand letting the broken shards of the destroyed holopad fall to the floor, and left the command center, stalking his way to the training room muttering curses towards the scavenger under his breath.  
  
When the doors to the training room slid open, a little too slow for his taste, he unsheathed his saber and ignited it. He tore through the nearest training droids, who never had a fighting chance, leaving a trail of severed, glowing metal and sparking plugs. He growled fiercely at the room and it cleared within seconds. Everyone on the ship knew to steer clear when Kylo rampaged, in fear of a wound or worse, to be another added to his growing list of dead. But the droids activated, and one by one Kylo took them down. Every training droid in the room, he fought easily, deflecting blasts and redirecting then back at the shooters. The metal scrap heap grew and soon thats all there was left. There were no more droids to fight. His temper still flaring, he ran through old training routines with his saber, falling into a rhythm of muscle memory as his temper raged on. 'That damn scavenger. That damn insignificant girl.' His saber moved faster and with more force. 'That girl cost me. She's going to pay. She will pay.' Kylos saber stopped within an inch of Hux's neck radiating a red light into the general's skin. 'Would this man ever leave him alone?'  
  
"What. Do. You. Want." Kylo seethed, panting slightly from his workout.  
  
"Temper, temper, Ren. You should really get a handle on that before you make a mistake, again." Hux scolded.  
  
"You should get out of my reach before I slice you in two, without a second thought." Kylo gritted through his teeth.  
  
Hux wavered and took a step back. He knew his bounds and he knew that he was replaceable.  
"Noted."  Hux held out a datapad. "Your next mission. From Snoke. Since you didnt stick around for the rest of the meeting, due to your little temper tantrum, I thought I'd deliver it myself."  
  
Kylo glared daggers though his mask. If looks could kill, well, he'd have more blood on his hands, especially Hux's. Diffusing his saber, Ren clipped it to his belt and held his hand out. Hux placed the datapad in his hand and left without another word. Kylo had the urge to chuck it across the room, but he didn't. Instead he made way to his quarters. Not so gently tossing the datapad onto his desk, Kylo took off his mask and gloves and went to the 'fresher for a shower.  
  
He let the hot water relax his tense muscles and ease his mind slightly, calming his temper from a bonfire to a steady flame of heat. Stepping out, he redressed and looked at the datapad on his desk scrolling through what Snoke had assigned him. He frowned as he read it over. 

'Find her.' 

Her. Kylo huffed. He was supposed to find the bane of his existence. Of course Snoke would assign him to find his weakness. No doubt to end her like he ended his father. His anger flared up again and this time he didnt hesitate to throw the datapad across the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's Kylo. In all of his miserable angst and tempers. More to come in these two. Hold tight and let me know what you think.


	3. In which case Rey no longer has a grasp of what's going on.

"Juno is an ancient Roman goddess, the protector and special counselor of the state. Juno also looked after the women of Rome"

The desolate buildings seemed to get nicer and more affluent. Rey scanned her surroundings looking for any immediate danger. She knew that after attacks, in times of desolation, people lose their morals and try anything to get anything. She knew the terms of a survivor. She had encountered many and had been one. Jakku had taught her that. Was she proud of everything she did on Jakku? No. There was little honor in being a survivor. But what could she do, she had to survive. And she did.  
   
She sensed a form moving behind them.  Pretending to pay no mind, to keep the old woman from panicking, and to make sure that the form didn't jump before she needed them to, Rey forged on picking through the rubble and helped the old woman navigate it. The form came closer, close enough to read their force signature. An aggressor. Great, just what she needed. Rey calmed herself and thought it through.

"Do you have a name?" Rey asked the old woman, looking around to make sure they were still headed in the right direction. Distract the old woman. Cause no reason for panic. She could do this.

"Junu,"

Rey nodded moved fowards cautiously. Her eyes scanned looking for a vantage point. The aggressor moved in closer. This was it.

"Junu, I'm going to need my staff back. Stay behind me." Her muscles tensed, as her staff was pressed back into her outstretched hand. She crept slowly keeping Junu closely behind her. The aggressor moved closer.

Rey stopped and threw her arm out to protect Junu.  
"Get behind me, keep yourself safe."

Junu nodded.

Rey scanned her surroundings. The buildings towered over them; smoke billowing slowly. The aggressor stalked them like prey. Rey growled. Would people stop doing that? She can handle herself and isn't weak, thank you very much. Ugh, people irritated her to no end.

"Show yourself," she called aloud. The aggressor kept hidden. Rey got more irritated. "I know you're out there, show yourself, now!" Rey shouted. 

The aggressor stood. She was a Togruta. A blaster was raised towards her and Junu.

"Gaeli?" Junu questioned.

Rey whipped around. 

"You know her?" Rey asked furiously.

Junu raised her eyebrows and Rey took a deep breath. Standing from her defensive crouch, Rey glared at the Togruta. This, 'Gaeli' lowered her blaster. 

"Your Majesty, are you alright?" Gaeli asked.  


"What!?" Rey asked.

"Yes I'm quite alright Gaeli. Thank you." Junu replied calmly.

"Your Majesty!?" Rey shrieked.

Junu shushed her. Rey was appalled. Did the lady she just help shush her? Really? That was it.

Rey exploded and force jumped behind the two crouching defensively again. She ignited her staff into her saber. 

·····

She had spent a while trying to get used to Luke's saber but, even after her fight with, Ren, and her somewhat victory over him, the saber never felt right in her hands. She longed for her staff.

Seeing this Luke sent her out for her own kyber crystal to make her own saber. She worked hard on her own saber fashioning it like her beloved staff. Luke was a little suprised at the fashion of the saber but was pleased with the outcome and her use of it.

·····

"Someone better tell me what the kriff is going on right now!" Rey scolded, holding her saberstaff up defensively.

Gaeli jumped in front of Junu protectively and raised her blaster, aiming at Rey. 

"Try me." Rey snarled. 

"Will you two quit it." Junu scolded.

"But Your Majes-"

Junu cut her off with a raise of a hand.  
"Gaeli, this is Rey. She means us no harm, she isn't a threat to us or the kingdom."

Gaeli nodded and lowered her blaster. Junu turned to Rey. 

"I assume you want answers young Rey."  
Rey thumbed off her staff, returning it to her side and nodded.

"Start talking." Rey seethed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Chapter three. I'm sorry for cliff hangers but their fun. For me. Not you. Sorry. But not really.  
> Junu as a spin off of Juno, who had a reputation of screwing things up.  
> More to come for our treacherous pair.
> 
> Also, I'll be posting every few days or so.


	4. A Trick on Polyphemus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few hours after what happened on Kepler. Kylo is slightly in the future.

'I am nobody,' -Rey, TFA (2015)

'What is it, brother?' they called inside. 'Is someone harming you?'  
'It's Nobody!' bellowed Polyphemus.' -The Odyssey

 

Kylo paced the length of his quarters. 'Find her? Find her? Was Snoke serious? He growled into the room, and the datapad, which had given his his mission, exploded from across the room. Thinking it was already destroyed from throwing it moments before, he whipped around and glared at the destroyed peice of technology. It sparked and smoked on the floor, tauntung him. Force calling his saber to his hand he made the intact pieces into glowing metal and soot, as well as destroying some of the floor and wall. Throwing the saber on the bed, he went back to pacing.

A dark presence crept into his mind.

'Are you displeased with your task, Ren?' Snoke asked.

Kylo took a breath and got a reign in his emotions. 

'No, my Lord, just confused as to why.'

The darkness grew heavy inflicting a pain in his mind. 'Are you questioning my methods, Pet?' The voice boomed.

Kylo shrank back. 'No, it shall be done.'

'See that it is. Do not dissapoint me again. The results this time, will be dire.' The pain released and Kylo knelt panting.

'Yes, of course.' 

The darkness melted back to a steady, constant presence, as it always was. Looming. Lurking. Surpressing. 

Out of the bounds of his mind and his master, Kylo knelt in meditation to search for the scavenger. Calling on the darkness of the force he reached out for her signature, and felt a tug. Like a cord to his own mind. The girl. The girl had somehow had made a connection with him over the force. No. No no no no no no.

There had to be a mistake here.

Could his day get any worse? Force bonded to the stupid girl that caused him so much pain and so many problems. 

He broke his meditation and screamed at the empty room. He huffed and took a breath trying to regain his concentration. While closing his eyes he searched for her through the galaxy until he found the end of their bond. She was in some unnamed system with no reason for notice. Was she trying to hide from him? Like she could. The fool. 

Kylo gathered a pack for his daunting mission, gathering only essentials. Replacing his mask and gloves, he stalked out of his room and towards the hangar bay. Who was there but his most favorited general.

"Hux." Kylo sneered.

"Ah Ren. I suppose you found her then?" Hux mused.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Way. Before, I make you." Kylo hissed.

He was disappointed that Hux complied.

Boarding his TIE silencer he set the coordinates for the system. He set off without another word to anyone, entering hyperspace. It would take a few hours til he entered the system. It surprised him that she wasn't that far from him. Especially when they were force bonded. 

·····

Entering the system he pulled on their bond again. As much as he hated the faint bond between them, it would prove to be useful with his mission. 

Her presence called him to a planet not far from the star of the system. Kepler-452b.

Wait.

Kylo searched the First Orders data bank and his suspicion was right. She was on the planet they had just attacked. How did she manage to wind up there? And how had he not sensed her when he was just there? What was this scavenger playing at? Was she toying with him?

Kylo glared at the planet. He scoped the planet and seeing the old destroyed city and deciding it would be his best bet, he made preparations for landing. 

Jumping out of the Silencer, Kylo made his way towards the city in desolation. 

He could now pick out a recent trail in the force that read as hers and picked his way through the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for short chapters. Its the perspective changings. So. There's that. Hope you liked my dip into mythology. No I'm not calling Kylo a stupid, man eating, blind Cyclops. Or maybe I am. You can choose.


	5. Deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few hours back from where we left Kylo. Things have still yet to come.

"There are three things that are never satisfied— no, four that never say, “Enough!”: the grave, the barren womb, the thirsty desert, the blazing fire."

 

Junu nodded.

"Alright, I will give you all the answers you want, but not here. Its not safe."

"But Your Majesty!" Gaeli sounded appalled. Junu hushed her as well. Rey felt a little smug at that.

"She has done nothing but helped me Gaeli. She could have turned me down, robbed me, left me for dead or even abandoned me when she sensed you. But she didn't. And that deserves some answers at least. Do you not agree?" She questioned the Togruta.

Gaeli nodded. "I suppose you're right, my lady." She turned to Rey. "I apologize for my hostility. I am very loyal to my queen and very protective of her as such."

It was Reys turn to nod. "Thank you." 

Something stirred in Rey. A tug in her mind. It felt like him. She glanced around panicked thinking he was behind her. The queen noticed.

"What is it my child?" Junu asked.

"Somethings... Not right. We need to move. Fast." Rey warned.

Gaelic and the queen nodded. "There's an inn and a shop around the corner that wasnt damaged in the attack, we can find shelter there." Gaeli informed them.

"Then let's go," The queen commanded.

Rey gave Gaeli a curt nod and followed behind them as they made their way into the street and around the corner. She felt another tug on her mind. Wherever he was, he was coming for her. And that made her hair stand on end. 

Entering the inn Rey felt a dozen eyes fall on them and her muscles tensed ready for an attack. A gentle hand laid on her arm. It was the queen.

"I know you are worried child. But the people here will not harm you. Of that I promise." 

Rey took a breath and allowed herself to relax. She looked around the small main entrance. Though the inn may have avoided the attack, it wasnt in very good shape. The grey walls seemed to sag and the lights seemed to dim and brighten, as if they threatened to go out. Gaeli checked them in and Rey wandered to the ajoined shop. 

It was nothing but a thrift shop, but for Rey it meant a lot. Even after years of scavenging she still loved second hand and used things. It taught her how everything had more then one purpose, and that in different hands, could do so much more then the original owner's.

While Rey was sifting through some gears and trinkets, Gaeli came to her and handed her some clothes. Rey looked strangely at the Togruta.

Gaeli gave a small smile. "I know what its like to be running from someone. I know how it weighs on a heart. You might want to change so they can't recognize you as easily."

Rey was touched by the gesture and took the clothes. "Thank you, but I dont think this is someone I can fool by a mere change of clothing."

Gaeli nodded. "Just know that you'll be safe here. The queen protects us all." 

Reys eyes flashed to the girl. "Who is she anyways? The queen?"

"She is our protector. Her kingdom is run on equality and safety. It is a refuge to all females of the galaxy. And can be so for you too."

"Its not nice to gossip." The queens voice intervened. She was cleaned up and clothed in delicate rose and dark maroon robes, her hair styled in a tight bun at the base of her neck. She looked elegant yet commanding. Rey's heart struck as this queen reminded her of Organa. 

Gaeli bowed her head. "My apologies, Madame. Rey asked a question and I-"

The queen smiled and rested a hand on the young Togrutas shoulder. "Go, be at peace my child. I will talk with Miss Rey."

Gaeli nodded as the queen dismissed her and left the shop with a small friendly nod to Rey accompanied by a smile. Rey gave a small wave.

"Now my child, why don't we head to our room so that you change and we can talk?" Junu offered.

They made their way to the rented room. It was quite large with two beds and a wheeled in cot. Gaeli's small bag and blaster had already claimed the cot. Rey felt endearment towards the Togruta. 

Heading to the refresher, Rey stripped her old worn desert clothed and adorned the ones Gaeli had given her. The tunic was a deep grey and the pants not far from black. The over wrap, like the one she had had, was in a lighter grey that accompanied the outfit. Readorning her belt and beloved staff Rey set out to get some answers from the queen. 

The queen made her way to the sitting area and offered for Rey to sit. Rey took an armchair as a comfort and the queen sat across from her in its twin. Rey looked at the queen expectantly.

"I apologize for my deception, young Rey. I have protocols as a queen for my saftey and those of my kingdom. I had to know that I could trust you. After all weve been waiting for you for quite some time."

Rey frowned. "What do you mean, 'waiting for me'? I'm nobody. How would you know who I am?"

"Rey, please, let me explain. Your mother was a good friend of mine. Some may say like a sister. She entrusted me with your care when the rise of the First Order first became a threat to all. And so, we have been waiting for your return."

Rey stood, furious. 

"My mother!? Left in your care!? What care!? I was abandoned! In a desert! With no one and now you think you can just show up and have some claim on me!? She trusted you! With her daughter! With me! And you- you..." Rey paced the floor, growling in anger. 

She whipped around and glared at Junu. "Why should I even believe you? All you've done is deceive me. Why should I trust you now?" She took her trusted staff from her back and ignited the golden plasma blade and pointed it at the queen, tears streaming down her face. "Why did she leave me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry guys. I love you all. I promise. Thanks for all of the support so far. Though it's small it means a lot.


	6. The Oncoming Storm

"Whatever you've got planned forget it... I'm the Oncoming Storm, the Bringer of Darkness,"  
-DW 

______________________________

Kylo surveyed the area. The trees grew dense and tall covering the planet in a blanket of green. The city his objective found herself in, stood out boldly against the green carpet. 

The force felt weak here. No. Not weak. Different. Kylo reached out to his master for answers. The Supreme Leader dominated his apprentice's mind to examine his wariness. His presence suppressed Kylo's mind once more.

'Master, what is wrong in the force here?' Kylo managed to ask.

The dark lord shifted uneasily. 

'Master?'

The darkness of Snoke raged and paralyzed Kylo in agony. 

'Of all the places that wretched girl is she had to be here!?' Snoke bellowed through Ren's mind. Kylo squeaked trying to ask what the problem was.

Snoke released his grip on his pawn and the darkness seemed to pace through Kylos mind leaving a trail of pain with every movement.

'This, this is not good.' Snoke muttered. 

Kylo found the strength to talk. 'My lord. May I ask, whats going on? Why is this place so... Different?'

The darkness swirled and formed into the creature that Kylo knew his master to be. Kylo flinched back at the creature and knelt, looking to him for answers. 

'This will be your greatest test yet, pet. She is under the protection of a power older then the Force itself. Bring her to me and you shall be rewarded greatly. This will be your final task before completing your training to become what you wanted. Do this and you shall be a Sith.'

Kylo nodded and Snoke was gone.

·····

Waking with a blaring headache, Kylo found himself on the forest floor. Ren blinked through the spots in his vision and sat up. 

The day was waning and the air around him was tangible, making his Knights of Ren attire uncomfortably hot. Disarming his outer robe, Kylo scanned his surroundings for a source of shelter for the night. Whatever this city was, it was not to be taken on in reckless abandon, especially when so much was on the line. 

Grabbing his pack from his Silencer, Kylo made camp under a wing of his flyer, and settled down for the time being. He took off his mask and gloves, laying them beside his makeshift bed, which consisted of a tarp and some forest leaves. Kylo knew survival, and knew he needed protection from the ground's cold. 

He knelt down into proper meditation form, and tried to connect with the dark side of the force on the strange planet. He felt nothing for a while. The comfort of his own strength and the looming presence of the darkness his master bestowed upon him, but nothing came from the vastness around him. He tried reaching for the girl though their force forsaken bond. The cord connecting them was present but much weaker to grasp then before. As if the girl was in a dense fog. It surrounded her force signature. And those of the forms around her. 

Kylo frowned in frustration. Hadn't they just attacked this city without a problem? And gained victory? Why was this place now hidden in the force, murky from his view? 

He broke meditation and started pacing. A thought crossed his mind to radio Hux and ask for specs on the recent attack, but as desperate as he was for answers no one seemed to have, he was not going to speak to that red headed oaf.

Oce again Ren called on the darkness within him. Honing the hate and anger he stored, Kylo tried once more to search for the girl. Still to no avail. He wasn't sure what had happened but he was sure the girl had something to do with the change in the force. 

·····

When the sun peaked its way over the horizon, Kylo had already been up for hours surveying the city, looking for weak points and trying in vain to locate his little scavenger. 

Doning his gloves, saber, and mask, Ren set out for the city's poorer area, it being the best vantage point. 

Before taking a step onto the broken down street, something hit Kylo like a wall and he blacked out.

 

____________

Gaeli rushed into the room and her eyes widened at the scene before her, forgetting her urgent news.

The queen looked at her expectantly. "Yes, Gaeli?"

Gaeli looked back and forth between Rey and her queen. 

"Uh... There was a disturbance, in the outer reaches of the city. A man. In all black. With a saber."

Rey gasped and put down her saber turning towards Gaeli.

"Gaeli, I need to know, where is he, and does he know where I am?"

"Is this who you're running from, Rey?"

"Just tell me where he is!" Rey pleaded. 

He was going to destroy everything. All the answers she ever wanted abd he was just going to walk in and take it from her. Again.

Gaeli shrunk back a little and the queen gave Rey a repremanding look.

"Go on child,"

"Our outer forces disabled him. He's out cold. But your majesty," Gaeli looked up in fear. "Who is he?"

The queen looked at Rey.

"His name, is Kylo Ren."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's some dramatic stuff for ya. More action to come as soon as I get all of my thoughts on paper. 
> 
> Who else loves Gaeli, because I know I do. My precious little flower.
> 
> AN: every chapter wont be different perspectives. Some will merge like this one some will be Rey or Kylo. Depends on what the plot needs. Longer chapters to come.   
> Thanks for all the support guys.


	7. There's a Miracle Called Friendship

"There’s a miracle called friendship  
That dwells within the heart,  
And you don’t know how it happens  
Or how it gets its start…  
But the happiness it brings you  
Always gives a special lift,  
And you realize that friendship  
Is life’s most precious gift."

_____________________

"What kinda name is that?" Gaeli asked, stiffling a chuckle.

Rey stared at the Togruta in utter disbelief.

"You don't know who that is!? How could you not know who..." She let out an aggravated groan. "Of course you don't know!"

Rey paced muttering to herself, wearing a path in the floor.

'What was wrong with him? Doesn't he have any other hobby than hunting me down? That man was obsessed. Insane. Who the kriff would want me? I'm nobody.'

She growled and gestured with her hands while talking to herself, as if it would make anymore sense to them. Gaeli and the queen looked at each other. Junu gestured Gaeli towards Rey. The Togruta nodded and took a step towards the frantic girl.

"Rey?" Gaeli tried softly. Rey paid no mind and kept muttering to herself. Gaeli tried again, a little louder. "Rey?"

Rey stopped and looked as Gaeli.

"What?" She gritted though her teeth.

Gaeli came over and placed a hand on Rey's shoulder. Rey looked up at her. The togrutas green eyes were filled with concern. 

"You're safe here. He cant hurt you." Gaeli said soothingly.

Rey shook her head. "You don't understand. He's, he..." Rey squeezed her eyes shut. She looked Junu dead in the eye. "He will destroy us all."

________________________

 

Kylo awoke in a small grey cell, his mask and saber were both gone and he had been stripped to his tunic and pants. His head was pounding and there was a slight ringing in his ears. He brushed both off.

Seeing himself only chained by his ankles and wrists, Kylo laughed. It was almost too easy. He called to the force to break the feeble chains and, 

nothing happened.

'What?

No. 

That wasn't right.'

Kylo tried again but reaped the same results. He closed his eyes and called out to the dark side of the force, but it was gone. No where to be found. He called to his master, but no response came. Again and again he tried to call upon the force, sense it, feel it. But there was nothing to be found.

Kylo yelled in frustration. 'What was going on!? What had they done to him!? He pulled on the chains hoping to break them with brute force. But the chains didn't even strain. Kylo screamed again. 

The door to his cell opened. A twi'lek woman stepped through. She was clothed in a long maroon tunic and black tight leggings with wraps on her calves and forearms. She had no weapon, but a belt with a small satchel attached.

Kylo glared daggers at the woman and in vain tried to force choke the female. He growled. The woman approached him.

"Mister Ren. I see you're awake. Do you require anything?" The woman spoke softly. 

Kylo scoffed. "Oh I don't know my freedom? My saber? Maybe to know what the kriff is going on here!? What did you heathens do to me!?" Kylo sneered.

The twi'lek woman knelt in front of Kylo. 

"I asked you nicely, if you needed anything. You should have the decency to respond as such Mister Ren."  The woman stood. "Now if you wish for answers, find it in yourself to ask nicely. Understand?"

Kylo scoffed and rolled his eyes.

The twi'lek shrugged. "As you wish." She snapped her fingers and Kylo's world went black again.

_____________________

 

Gaeli managed to stop from Rey pacing and to sit back down. The queen went to talk with the messenger and the guards who has escorted the girl; leaving the two with some privacy.

Rey held her head in her hands and tried to breathe steadily, still muttering. Gaeli rubber her shoulder gently.

"Rey," Gaeli started. Rey looked up at her. "Why don't you tell me what's going on and I'll see if I can help you."

"No one can help me." 

"It never hurts to have a friend. We may not be able to take him down, but you don't have to fall alone." 

Rey was confused by her words. A friend? She thought back to Finn and BB-8. Even Poe. They were friends. But it wasnt like this. Their relationships with her were more professional, or light hearted, maybe a mutual agreement in some cases. But what Gaeli was offering was a truer friendship. 

Rey studied the Togruta. "He'll kill us both." 

Gaeli smirked. "He can try." 

Rey grinned. Gaeli was bold and strong but never left anyone feeling down. Her worries still present but now she had someone she could trust though this mess. She had a colleague.

She had a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awe look at our little baby going out to make friends. I'm so proud of her. Great poem by the way. Also a decent into madness with Kylo. The poor kid keeps getting knocked out by women. That cant be good for his self esteem. I do have plans for him though. And Rey. So keep coming back because theres more to read.


	8. An Ancient Tribe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heres some background so youre not as confused, nor think I'm crazy. I have plans my children. Many many plans.

"The Amazons were a tribe of women warriors related to Scythians and Sarmatians. Apollonius Rhodius, at Argonautica, mentions that Amazons were the daughters of Ares and Harmonia."

 

_________________________________

 

Long ago, before the Force was born, an ancient tribe was founded. A tribe of women, sworn to be protected from all who would harm them. All that was required of those who sought safety was the obediance of law and, that they wished to stay. It was a haven for all women who desired their help. They were warriors. They helped nurture the young Force. Learned how to bend it. Control it. Subdue it. 

They located themselves in a forest dense planet, unknown to most, and never commonly found. It had a name in the records but to the women who lived there it was Ogegia.

There was a leader of the tribe. No one knew where she came from, or of what decent she was. She appeared human but was none of the sort. Her warriors thought her a mother. A general. Those who heard of her, thought her a goddess.

This leader taught her followers how to use the Force. She was there when it was born. She watched as it formed and grew and as others discovered it and used it. She learned as she experinced. This knowledge was sacred; this knowlege she passed down to her warriors. To use in times of trouble, in times of war. To aid them in their lives. 

Her warriors were from all over the galaxy. Women that sought refuge from men. Orphaned girls who had no where else to turn. Slaves and servants who needed to be free. They found their way to the tribe. They found refuge. Each woman was taught the ways of the Force if she so wished. Each were offered a life of peace from the rest of the galaxy and all of its affairs.

·····

Junu was a young girl when they found her. She was living on the streets. An orphan. Her mother had died during an attack on her village and her father was taken to fight in the war. What war, Junu was never told. Her mother would never answer any of her questions before she died. This left little Junu on her own, begging for scraps, avoiding predators, and craving answers. 

Normally the leader stayed with her tribe, letting her advocates scour the stars for those in need. To coustum, she sent out her warriors to save the young girls from their situations. But the leader needed to get out to see the galaxy and it's progress with the Force. 

She stumbled upon the little girl. Dirty, thin, and clothed in rags. The girl shied away from the leader, cowering in a corner of an alley. The leader knelt in front of the child and held out her hand. The girl looked up with fear in her eyes.

"Its alright, I'm not going to hurt you." The leader said softly. Junu analyzed the strange woman and slowly reached for her hand.

The leader smiled as the girl took her hand. "Do you have a name child?" 

Junu nodded.

The leader raised her eyebrows. "Would you care to tell me?" 

She nodded again. "Junu. S'what my momma called me."

The leader smiled. "Well Junu, it's nice to meet you, I'm Metisa. You will be safe with me."

·····

Junu looked at her city in rubble. The attack by the First Order had crippled them. She still wasn't sure how they had managed to seize fire on her beloved city but she had some ideas. Ever since Mother Metisa had become ill the defense of their sacred place was fading. 

Metisa had looked after her as a child, and had a dear place in the queen's heart. Now a days, the leader spent her time in the mountians and caves of Ogegia, slowly fading into the landscape, becoming weaker by the day.

This worried the queen, but Metisa said not to worry, for a daughter was to come home and protect the home of her warriors. 

That's the day the First Order attacked. It had been out of no where. Junu kicked herself for not being more immersed in the galaxy's affairs, like Metisa. She had so much still to learn from her mother, but so little time left. After the attack Junu was patrolling the streets, taking in the damage report for herself, seeing just what had been done to her peaceful home.

That had also been the day that Rey had come back.

At first Junu wasnt sure that it had been her. It had been almost fifteen years since she had last seen the girl. Sensing her precense before seeing Rey, she disguised herself as a poor old woman to test the girl. The queen knew that her Rey wouldnt pass up an opportunity to help another. And her trial availed as the girl proved her right. 

Then came the man in black. Kylo Ren. Junu knew that he had been part of the attack, and if it wasn't for Rey's, obsession, with the man, he'd have been executed the moment he crossed into her territory. But for the girl's sake he was being kept subdued in a cell until Rey could get a handle on herself and confront him. It was Rey's score to settle, not her own.

·····

The queen entered the small rented room when she sensed that the mood had shifted between the girls. That was her Gaeli, always being able to make the most of of nothing. Her most prized warrior. Though she didn't prefer to use the Force, and instead use her old beat up blaster, she was one of Junu's best. 

Junu opened the door and found the two girls on the couch as Rey was reaccounting her past adventures with this Kylo, and what he had done to cause such a vendetta with Rey.  

The man was powerful. The queen knew that. Yet he was under the control of a creature who twisted the Force in unjust ways. She was not oppsed to the darker side of the force, but it is what is done with the Force that matters, not what it is. 

"Rey, Gaeli, gather your things, we will head to the palace shortly." 

Gaeli nodded, as did Rey. The sooner they got back to the palace the better. There was to be a trial for the man in black, and Rey needed to be there to make the final call. She more than deserved it. It was her right. Her heirloom. 

Junu thought back to Rey's mother. She was stubborn and loyal, a magnificent force user. A strong warrior who had fallen in love. She died a hero's death and was honored and held in the highest esteem.

Junu could see the same qualities in Rey. Though how she managed to find herself in the middle of the war between the Reisitance and the First Order, Junu didn't know. Call it fate or destiny.

"My queen, Rey has asked something of you." Gaeli broke her train of thought.

"My apologies," the queen reconciled for zoning out. "What is it that you wish child?" 

Rey took a breath. "I want to see him. Gaeli tells me that he's in a cell, and is powerless. I would like to see him"

The queen thought it over then decided.

"It shall be done."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *laughs maniacally* 
> 
> I don't even know anymore. 
> 
> Come bug me on Tumblr at MissMarrinette.


	9. Listen.

"Listen to me. Listen. I want you to think. Do you know what thinking is? It's just a fancy word for changing your mind." -DW

 

_________________________________

 

Rey stood in front of the cell door. His cell door. A mix of emotions flitted through her. Anger, fear, pride. The twi'lek guard, who's name was Hatria stood by her side as well as Gaeli. 

Rey frowned, feeling now confused. The cell held no feeling of Kylo. No force signature. No force as all. She tugged at the cord that Kylo had pulled before. But nothing. Its like he was gone.

"Is everything alright Miss?" The twi'lek asked. 

"Is he in there?" Rey asked doubtingly.

Hatria nodded. "He is. As promised."

Gaeli rested a hand on Rey's shoulder.

"Is there a problem Rey?" Gaeli asked with concern. Rey turned the handle of the cell.

"We're about to find out."

She opened the door. 

Sure enough there was Kylo. Chained to the wall, head hanging down completely passed out. He wasn't wearing his normal get up that she was used to. He wasnt a threat to her any longer. Rey almost left. She almost turned around and walked out. She should have. Everything in her was screaming to run. To lock this man up and leave him to his fate. But she heard a plea.

"please," a raspy voice whispered.

What?

Rey signaled for Gaeli and Hatria to stay out in the hall as she took a careful step forward. Rey leaned towards Kylo, slowly creeping forward.

Gaeli started to say something but Rey waved her to be quiet. Rey waited for him to say something again. The form was silent. Rey was starting to feel foolish when he spoke again.

"Rey?" Kylo rasped.

Rey knelt in front of him studing him. 

"Yes, it's me." She said carefully. 

His head lifted and he looked up at her with no light in his eyes. 

"Get out of here." He panted out.

Rey frowned. "What?"

"Get out. Save yourself." 

Rey was at a loss for words. Who was this and what had they done with the Kylo she knew? He seemed so weak and fragile. What had they done to him?

"Why? Whats so terrible here?" She asked.

"Rey, please." Kylo pleaded. Rey stared in amazement.

A voice came from behind her. 

"Miss, it's time to go."

Rey turned quickly. "What did you do to him?" She asked seething.

The twi'lek remaind silent. Rey got aggravated.

"What did you do to him!?" She bit out. The twi'lek back away from her. Gaeli took a step in front of Hatria.

"Rey, calm down." Gaeli asked.

Calm down. Calm down? What the kriff had they done to Kylo? They played with his mind and soul in ways that shouldnt be allowed.

"What did you do." Rey asked furiously.

"Why do you care? You hate him Rey. He tried to kill you, your friends. He's hurt and killed so many and you want to know what we did?" Gaeli asked.

"No one should be oppressed like this! What did you do with his Force signature!? Why cant I sense our..." Rey stopped herself.

Just then the queen showed up. 

"Sense your what, Young Rey?"

Rey glared at the queen. 

"You." She growled. She was soon upon the queen holding her against the wall by her throat. 

"What the kriff did you do to him!?" She roared. "You have no right to do what you have done!" 

The queen remained calm and waved off the guards around her.

"If you would do kindly let me go, maybe I could answer your questions. Or would you rather wind up like Mister Ren?"

Rey huffed and released the queen. Junu straighted her cloak and took a breath clasping her hands.

"Much better. Now." She turned to Hatria. "Please release Kylo from his bonds and bring him to the court room for his trial." She turned back to Rey. "Miss Rey if you'd please join me in his trial."

Rey glared at her. "No."

The queen looked surprised. "No?"

Rey took a breath. "Tell me what you did to him. Why couldnt I sense him in the force?"

The queen smiled. "We simply subdued his Force signature." As if it was obvious.

Rey was even more confused. "Subdued? He was one of the most gifted people of the force. Why would you?"

"Simple. He's a man. They have no place here."

Rey was taken aback. No place? Because he was male? They had to be kidding there was no way that they could be so shallow. Rey looked at Gaeli. The torguta looked to the floor. She couldn't believe it. Sure, subdue him for murdering thousands, reeking havoc on the galaxy, but for being male? No matter who it was, it wasnt right. 

The queen continued. "His trial is being held in a few moments. Rey, you have been selected as a judge among others. Now please, come along."

Rey should have run. Should have taken Kylos advice and just run. But a part of her wasnt going to leave. Not without him. As much as she loathed the man, he had tried to warn her, and been right and she wasnt leaving him behind.

Rey nodded and followed the queen to the court room, hatching a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I promise I love you all. I'll have more up by tonight.


	10. A Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone makes choices They all decide our fates.

"Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones. But you still have to choose." -DW

 

____________________________

 

The court room was grand. Its walls were made of a deep wood and it had a wide array of chairs behind desks all arranged about a center stand.

Rey was lead to a front desk. She sat next to the queen and another human woman of whom she didnt know. Gaeli guard stood by the door. Rey sighed. She had trusted Gaeli, and now she had been betrayed. Maybe not by Gaeli exactly but, it felt that way. 

Hatria brought Kylo in. He was less walking and more being dragged. Had he always been so thin? He had only been here maybe half a day. What had they done? Rey was concerned.  Kylo was placed on the center stand. To be stalked like prey, by these women. These vultures. Reys blood started to boil but she suppressed her anger and took a deep breath. She needed to get them out of there, and getting mad wasnt going to help either of them.

The queen stood. "My warriors, now upon us has come the trial of yet another man. An arrogant creature who has used the Force selfishly to his own will. Who has been ignorant to the true power of the force and he himself claiming to be the most powerful. His time for judgement has come my fellow sisters." She gestured for Rey to stand. "Another, has come home to us, to fulfill a foretelling and strengthen our city. She shall decide the fate of this man." 

Rey gave a tight smile at the warriors in the room. The queen continued, listing off all of the condemnable acts that Kylo had commited because he was a man. He threatened the divinity of the city and the tribe, and a lot of other things Rey needed to tune out before she got too angry at the queen and decided to actually kill her. 

"Rey," 

She looked up. The whole room was looking at her including Kylo. She studied the man before her. He wasn't trying to fight. He wasn't trying to argue. He looked as if he had accepted his fate. She tried to reach out through the force to him. Just to try but, again she read nothing.

·····

Kylo had been in and out of conscienceness for a few hours. He didnt really pay mind. All he could do was wait, and it was better to have his wits about him then decent into madness with trying to escape. 

He could feel his life force being slowly drained by whatever these heathens had done to him. Oh how he hated them with a passion. 

The door opened again but it wasnt the twi'lek woman who walked through to enter his mind and rip another part of the force from him. It was female. He found the strength to open his eyes. It was her. The scavenger. Rey. They had her too. 

He tried to call her name but nothing came out. She was leaving. He tried again but to no avail. He pleaded. She stopped. She had heard him. 

"Rey,"

·····

Rey moved from behind her desk and moved towards Kylo. Dozens of eyes watched her. 

"Kylo Ren." She started calmly. He looked up at her, defiance screaming in his eyes. Theres the Kylo she knew. "You have commited crimes against the galaxy, against your family, and against me." She thought she saw him roll his eyes. "You hunted me like an animal and tried to slaughter me like one as well. Youve hurt my friends and killed a good man." He winced slightly at that. 

She felt the eyes of the warriors bore into her as she turned to face them stepping between them and Kylo. She spoke boldly and firmly.

"I will not allow you to kill him simply because he is a man. And nor shall I kill him for that reason either."

Junu studied the girl. Then spoke. "Is this pity you feel for him Young Rey?"

Rey laughed and shook her head. "Not at all. But I will always stand for justice when and where I can. Its something I've learned, from a man much wiser then you will ever be."

The queen glared at Rey and hushed the murmmers coming from the room.

"He is sentenced for death. I have given you the opportunity to settle your vendetta you foolish girl but you bite back with vile words. You were supposed to be great, Rey. The savior of your city. But you disappoint me, just like you did your mother." The queen took a breath. "Therefore, I shall kill him myself."

Reys blood boiled. She let the anger flow through her this time. She used the force to throw the queen across the room and took her saberstaff, still ever present on her back, and ignited it.

"Damn you and your prophecies. No one kills Kylo but me!" She roared.

She heard a chuckled from behind her. 

The room was still in shock at what had happened and she used that to her advantage. Turning, she faced Kylo.

"Glad to see you're starting to be you again. Come on before I change my mind." 

She heard a blaster go off. Gaeli. She whipped her head and saw the Togruta aiming her blaster at the room behind them.

"Go!" Gaeli shouted. "I'll hold them off."

Rey could have cried, but instead she grabbed Kylo's arm and dashed through the door. 

This seemed to bring Kylo back to his senses. 

"I need my saber." He said.

Rey wanted to scream. "This isn't the time for you to be demanding things. If you hadnt noticed they're trying to kill us now. Because of you I might add."

Kylo pulled on her arm. "One I never asked you to do that and two," He leaned down and looked her in the eyes. "I. Need. My. Saber." 

His face was inches from hers. She could feel his warm breath on her face. She felt his eyes bore into hers and she felt a rush of emotions of confusion, fear, anger, and longing. But they werent hers. They were his. 

Rey took a step back, studying Kylo and this new rush of emotions.

"Fine. We'll get your blasted saber."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *laughs maniacally*


	11. Gaeli's Choice

"Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. 

This nation was founded on one principle above all else: The requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- "No, YOU move."" -Captain America (The Winter Soldier)

____________________________

 

Gaeli burst out of the court room and looked at Rey and Kylo.

"Why are you still here!?" She shouted.

Rey made a gesture towards Kylo. "Drama queen wants his saber!" She yelled back. 

Gaeli made a desperate gesture to the court room. "I've knocked them all out with the force but it wont be long. You need to go back to where be was found. None of his things were brought into the city." Gaeli informed them. 

Rey was impressed that the Togruta could take out a whole room of Force warriors on her own. Why did she keep the blaster then?

Kylo pulled at Rey's arm. "We need to go. Now." He whispered harshly. Rey threw him a glare, but nodded. She turned back to Gaeli.

"What about you?" She asked.

Gaeli smiled. "I'll be okay. I promise. Now go."

Rey nodded at her. "Take care of yourself."

"You too. He seems like a handful." Gaeli gestured to Kylo who was glaring at her.

Rey nodded and cracked a smile. "You have no idea."

Kylo groaned. "Can we please get out of here, or are you two going sit down for tea next?" 

Gaeli gave a two finger salute at Rey and nodded in the direction they should go to get out of the palace. "Be safe, Rey. Don't forget about me." 

Rey nodded and the two rushed down the hall and out of sight.

·····

Gaeli knew something was troubling Rey the moment she opened the cell door. Something changed in her. Rey no longer felt fear towards the man in chains. Instead she was afriad. Not of him. But of what had been done to him. Gaeli didnt need to read Reys force signature to tell her emotions.

The two outsiders had a small conversation before Hatria told her it was time to go. Gaeli knew that was a lie, but she couldn't argue. She had a job to do and a queen to serve. 

It was when Rey exploded with rage that she stepped in and tried to calm her new friend. She couldn't find it in herself to disarm Rey when she attacked the queen though. Rey was right. Gaeli knew that. The women had no right to do what they had done to Kylo. She had always felt that their distain towards men was misplaced, but she always kept quiet. 

But then Rey had stood up for her belief and for a shining moment she knew what she had to do. She made her choice. It was time to step up and stand for what she believed. She would get these two out of this cursed city if it killed her. 

Raising her blaster she took out the alarm system. There was no way they were getting out of there without her. Even if it meant execution for treason. Rey turned and looked wildly at her.   

"Go!" She yelled at Rey.

Gaeli didnt know what she was going to do against a room of her fellow warriors, but she had always been one of the strongest force users of them all. Holstering her blaster Gaeli took a moment and knocked out the entire room. It wasnt secure but it would give then enough time.

Heading for the exit door that the two outsiders had just ran through, she caught sight of them arguing. 

Great. She was going to die for these two, and now they were bickering like an old couple.

What a way to go down.

She told Rey what she knew and gave her a farewell. She was glad to have met someone like Rey before she had her final moments. 

The doors to the court room opened and the queen stepped though glaring at Gaeli.

"After all I've done for you, this is how you betray me?" She accused.

Gaeli held up her blaster, aimed at the queen.

"I have done so much more then pay off my debt. Now it is time to stand for what I believe. And I believe in the Force. For all, not just women like you claim. And I believe in Rey, and in Kylo."

All of a sudden Gaeli had lost control of her body and was constricted by the force.

"So be it. You shall be executed for your crimes." 

 

·····

When Gaeli was young, a group of raiders came to her village. All men. They were pirating her home. Killing the men, taking the women for their own. Looting and destroying everything she knew. 

When all hope was lost to the young Togruta, a group of women came fighting against the men. Freeing her people from their grasp. They were beautiful to Gaeli. Strong women who fought for her people. Feeling a deep loyalty to her people, and an adoration towards these women warriors, Gaeli went out to fight these aggressors, with nothing but a blaster that was her fathers, who had been slain when trying to save her and her mother.

She came face to face with a warrior. He was tall, a Zabrak. She pointed her blaster at the man quaking. He towered over her and laughed at the sight of her. He picker her up by the scruff of her neck and flung her across the road. 

Gaeli was disoriented but tried to stand once more but the man was upon her, his own blaster pointed at her. She closed her eyes and awaited the blow that would send her to her fathers arms once more But it never came. 

She peeked an eye open and before her stood a female warrior. She was tall and older. To Gaeli she looked like an angel. The angel held out her hand and called to Gaeli.

That was the day she had met Queen Junu and her force using warriors.

·····

Kylo ran out of the palace first, grateful to be out of that wretched place. The girl followed close behind but he paid her no mind. All he wanted was his saber and to get out of this force forsaken city. 

His force abilities had slowly began to come back to him the longer he was away from that cell and the heathen they called Hatria. Using what little force power he had he tracked his saber's signature. It lead him to the edge of the city where he had attempted to enter. 

There just outside the city laid his beloved saber. Kylo called it to his hand and ignited it feeling its power hum in his hand. He heard another saber ignite. The scavenger. He whipped around.

She looked at him with betrayal in her eyes and her saber raised defensively toward him.

"I should have known!" She screamed at him.

Did she really think that he would turn on her. Giving the circumstances, he really couldnt blame her. Kylo glared at her.

"You dont know anything." He growled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no words.
> 
>  
> 
> Opportunity for my readers:  
> I need names!! Comment some names that you would see in the sw galaxy and I might just use them for new characters!


	12. Demons Run

"Demons run when a good man goes to war." 

 

________________________

 

Deciding he didn't have time for this, Kylo thumbed off his saber and walked away from her towards his TIE. She was screaming for him to come back and fight her, but he paid no mind. He vaguely remembered he had a mission to complete, but since his time in the cell, he couldn't remember what.

As soon as he stepped foot off the cobblestone path of the end of the road the darkness of Snoke consumed him and he dropped like a stone. 

·····

Rey should have known. Should have seen it coming. Of course he would want his saber so he could finish her off. Why was she so stupid? Why had she helped him?  She cursed herself for being so stupid. Maybe she was a disappointment like Junu had said. Is that why her mother had stranded her? Is that why people always left her?

Rey fought back tears as she ignited her saberstaff. 

Kylo turned around looking very confused but she didn't have time to be empathic with him. She had started trust him and now... 

Now what?

Was this it? Was this the final battle where one of them would come out on top? She should have let them kill him. What was wrong with her? Why had she taken pity on this monster?

That's when she noticed Kylo turn to leave. She screamed at him to come back. She wasn't going to let him control her life anymore. It was time for him to do what she decided. She was about to run after him when he collapsed.

"Kylo!?" She screamed in worry. She scanned her surroundings for any female warriors who could have done so, but there was no one. 

She slowly crept towards Kylo her staff still tasked defensively. Was he playing a trick on her? Was he trying to trap her so he could pounce?

She gave a testing tug on the cord between their force powers and gasped as she felt the darkness of his mind creep into hers. She difused her saber, returning it to a staff and nudged Kylo's shoulder with it cautiously. 

He didnt move. She knelt down beside him. He was scantily breathing and a sheer layer of sweat covered his face. 

What was being done to him? She looked around. What had caused it? She thought back to what had happened.

She was cursing herself for trusting him, then he went to leave, and he took a step out of the city.

Wait. The city. It had subdued his force powers. She remembered Luke saying something about Kylo not being alone in his mind. Something about a dark creature that bent Kylo to his will like a pawn. Snape? Snote? No, wait Snoke. It was Snoke. Had he consumed Kylo once more?

Rey tried to reach out to Kylo through the force again, this time slowly, so the darkness wouldn't overwhelm her. When she neared what she assumed was his mind at the end of the cord she found nothing but darkness. But it wasnt Kylo's darkness it was something else. Something much more powerful and ancient. It spoke. 

'Ah, my little scavenger.' It cooed in a sickly sweet voice. The thing moved closer, the darkness moving upon her.

Rey jerked back out of Kylo's mind. She blinked through the fading light of the day and decided to test a theory. She pulled Kylo back into the city, but not without struggle. The man was huge. Huffing she sat down next to him and waited, leaning against a wall. He awoke slowly, his eyelids fluttering open. She looked at him and sighed in relief. He was okay. 

She growled at herself. Who cared if he was okay? She wasn't relieved. It just meant he owed her even more. That was it. That's why she did it. 

He sat up slowly and leaned against the same wall next to her, taking deep breaths and squeezing his eyes shut. Rey watched him, trying to figure out what had happened.

Kylo leaned his head against the wall and sighed. 

"Thanks," He said.

What? No he didn't. He did not. She had to have imaginged it. She got up and faced him standing. He looked up at her confused.

"What the kriff is wrong with you!?" She screamed at him. "You egotistical, sociopathic, oaf!" She paced and he watched. "What's your game? Huh? What are you trying to do? Are you trying to get me to care about you just so you can kill me easier? Is that it!? Huh!? What the kriff Kylo!?" She stumbled over her words and Kylo held his hands up in surrender.

She looked at Kylo and it seemed he was in a state of shock. Rey growled in frustration. 

"I should have left you." She said quietly, shaking her head. "I shouldn't have..."

"So why didnt you?"

His voice startled her. It was deep and commanding, but it was gentle now as he questioned her. She frowned at his quarry. 

Why didnt she? 

Kylo stood and clipped his saber to his belt. Rey backed up and held her staff up. Kylo looked at her. Then out at the forest beyond the road, and spoke, not facing her.

"This place frees me from Snoke. I am no longer under his control in this city. I am free to my own mind. Outside of this city, I am not my own." He faced her. "Thank you Rey, for the moment of freedom."

It was her turn to be shocked. 

He went on. "Despite your beliefs, without Snoke I am not a monster of nightmares." He turned towards her. "I have been sent on a mission to retrieve you for him, but tasting this freedom, I don't want to go back, Rey." He sighed. "We can't stay here but I don't want to leave."

Rey bit her lip. She swallowed down the screaming voices in her head that he was lying and gave him a chance. She brushed against his mind once more and the darknees that had oozed in his mind before was gone.

"What can I do?" She asked, looking at the woods of darkness, as the sun set on the city.


	13. Where Rock and Roll Applies to A Galaxy Far Far Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may contain scenes to feely for some fangirls. Proceed with caution.

"You may be right  
I may be crazy  
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for  
Turn out the light  
Don't try to save me  
You may be wrong for all I know  
But you may be right"  
-Billy Joel, You May Be Right

___________________________________________________

 

When Ben was young his mother always always took care of him when he was sick. And once, when he got really ill, his father had came home to take care of him. 

Han didn't sleep as he watched his son sleeping softly on his bed. His Ben had been sick for about a week and he was worried sick. Leia had urged Han to come to bed many times, or at least to sleep. But he couldn't. His son needed him. And this time he was going to be there. 

He knew he failed his son many times. Missing academy dates and birthdays. Every one weighed on him, but he never let Ben see. 

Seeing his son like this, so weak and frail, stirred a guilt in Han that cut like a knife. He would never let his son down again.

·····

Kylo remember being sick like that. He remembered his father being there. Being there for him. Willing to do anything for him. 

There was another time that Han had done that same thing but that memory was too painful and was locked deep within Kylo.  

That was the memory that hit him with such a power when he stepped foot out of the city. The pain cripped him.

·····

The supreme leader crippled him to be more exact. Such pain and anger towards his failed apprentice, Kylo felt his life form slipping and fading. It was the end.

Until Snoke was gone.

Visions fluttered in front of his eyes of his father urging him to wake up. Like he had when Ben was little, to go on an adventure with Han in the middle of the night. Ben longed to go on one more adventure aboard the Falcon with his father so he opened his eyes.

·····

But a girl greeted his eyes. She was glaring at a wall. She looked so focused and lost deep in thought. 

Ben's situation flooded back to him and he was Kylo once more.

Kylo held desperately onto the strands of Ben that he could, while he still could.

___________________________________________________

 

"What can I do?" She asked, not looking at him. 

Whatever it was they didnt have much time. They were being hunted and he could feel the signatures of the warriors that tracked them.

Kylo thought hard. He knew the city had an affect on his bond with his master but he didnt know the extent. Looking at the stones of the road around him, he picked one up and ran his thumb over the rugged edge. Its force signature ran stong. Kylo had a thought and started walking out of the city again.

"What are you doing!?" Rey yelled at him.

Oh. Right. She was here. She was going to help. That was new.

"The city has a control on me. I'm going to see if it still does if I'm just touching a part of it, but away from the city itself." He said. 

"And if it doesn't? What if... What if he...?" She looked at the ground, rubbing her arm. 

"We dont have time for fear. We need to do this now." He said curtly.

She didnt say another word but nodded. 

He stepped out of the city. He looked back at her and nodded. It was working so far. He gripped the stone like it was his life force. And maybe it was.

He took another step and paused. He felt Snoke creep back slowly into his mind. He gasped and tried, for the first time, pushing back. The darkness pushed back stronger. Kylo gritted his teeth. Then he felt a tug away from the darkness.

Kylo turned around. It was Rey. She gave a small smile. She was pulling at their bond. She was helping him. He didn't know how she had managed to locate their bond, or even pull him away from the darkness, but a part of him was grateful. 

He kept walking and she followed, staying only a few steps behind him. Snokes presence grew, but with the stone in his hand and Rey behind him, Snoke was more of a nuisance then a slave master.

Kylo took a step towards his Silencer and then fell to his knees in pain as the force restricted around him. In less than  a moment Rey was beside him.

__________________________________________________

 

Rey tried. She really did. She saw the hurting and damaged man that Kylo was without Snoke. She was going to try. 

But then he started walking out of the city with a stone in his hand and was about to call herself twenty types of stupid, again. But she tried.

His theory was, interesting, to say the least. She didnt trust it, or him, much, but it seemed to work.

Rey kept close tabs on Kylos mind, partly to sense Snoke, partly to sense deception. When the darkness started creeping in towards Kylo, he did something that surprised her.

He pushed back.

Maybe. Just maybe there was hope for him. 

Rey didn't know if she trusted him yet, but he was really trying. And that had to count for something, she thought. 

She felt the darkness start to overwhelm Kylo so she gave a small tug on their bond to try to pull him back from it. Apparently he noticed because he turned around, so she gave a small smile. 

He forged forwards taking a step in a direction she didnt recognize, and collapsed. She felt her feet carry her to his side. She didnt remember telling them to do that, but there she was by his side kneeling next to him placing a hand on his shoulder. 

__________________________________________________

 

Kylo took a deep breath and gave it his all, pushing back against the darkness. He gripped the stone desperately in his hand. He had to do this. It had been to long and he needed to beat this.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Rey. She was there. By his side despite everything he had done. To her. To everyone. And here she was worrying for him. Helping him. She was absolutely insane, he was sure. But maybe a little crazy is what he needed. 

Kylo squeezed his eyes shut and fought against Snoke.  He had to try. For her. She was still there, that had to mean she believed in him. 

__________________________________________________

Snoke didnt know what was happening with his pet and it made him furious. The last he had heard of the pawn was their previous conversation of finding the girl, then he had lost all contact. 

So he waited. Prowling. Lurking. Sulking. Searching for his puppet. Waiting for him to reappear in the force. Somewhere.

And the moment he felt his puppet step back in into his territory of the force, away from the land of those heathens, he seized his pawn and gave him what He dreaded most.

The guilt of the death of his father. 

Snoke knew how his pet hates what he had done. He knew how his pawn loathed his presence. But the broken son was his to control. To use as he desired. And as long as he could be controling his pawn, he would.

The supreme leader gave his pawn all of the anguish, sorrow, and pain that he could foce into his mind. He felt the life force slip away slowly, but he payed no mind. If his puppet had tasted any form of freedom, it was time to destroy that hope and put him back in his place.

Snoke left his pawn in anguish, until he vanished again. The supreme leader roared in fury, losing his hold on his pet. 

·····

A few moments later, Snoke felt a small presence of his pawn back in the force, so he attacked it viciously, but to no avail. He tried harder but his failed apprentice surprised him and pushed back agaimst the darkness. Snoke pressed harder. Soon his pawn was pulled away from him. A shock to them both.

Snoke growled like a ferral animal, but he couldn't get into his pet's head. His pet was perfectly compliant then, but now he has a stroke of defiance.

Not wanting to endure this weakness any longer Snoke crippled his expendable and looked through his eyes to see what was happening. 

He felt a stone in his pawn's hand and a gentle comfort on his shoulder.

That. Wretched. Girl.

Oh Snoke had plans for her. 

__________________________________________________

Little did Snoke know that Rey had plans of her own for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! We see that Kylo might have hope after all. And Rey is going to hold onto that hope. After all, she needs someone in her copilots seat, and with Gaeli being, well, you remember, maybe it will be Kylo after all. 
> 
> Or maybe I'll throw a curve ball and it wont be Kylo or Gaeli but someone much more important to Rey.
> 
> I love you all of my children.


	14. A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *chants*  
> Symbolism. Symbolsim. Symbolism.

"Clear blue water, high tide came and brought you in  
And I could go on and on... and I will  
Skies grew darker, currents swept you out again  
And you were just gone 

In silent screams,  
In wildest dreams  
I never dreamed of this"

-This Love, Taylor Swift

"Hung my head as I lost the war  
and the sky turned black like a perfect storm

Rain came pouring down when I was drowning  
That's when I could finally breathe"

-Clean, Taylor Swift

 

________________________________________________

 

Rey didnt know what was going on, but she had to do something to help Kylo, who was shaking in agony. 

Kneeling next to him, she fell into in meditation form like Master Skywalker had taught her, she entered her own mind and became one with the Force once more.

She could see the Force restrict around Kylo, crushing him in place. Then she saw a mass of darkness. The scene shifted around them and they entered an ocean with a liqiud shadow drowning Kylo. He was trying to keep tred but, wave after wave, the shadows pulled him down. Rey found herself standing on a rock above the waves. A platform to keep her from the inky shadows that lapped at her feet. She kept her focus on Kylo, looking for a way to save him. To pull him from the suffocating water. 

Kneeling she held out her hand.

"Kylo!" She called to him.

A voice above her boomed.

"Kylo is mine." It hissed.

She didnt give up yet. She called his name over and over, reaching beyond her safe haven to reach him. He didnt respond. He didn't even look up. She barely grasped his fingertips before he was from torn away from her again. 

Over the crashing of the waves Rey heard a gentle, gruff and familiar voice. 

"Save him Rey. Save my son. Save my Ben." 

Han Solo.

She didnt know how, or why, or even what, but she wasnt going to let Han down. She was going to finish what he started. 

"Ben," She called softly testing the foreign name on the broken man. His eyes flashed to hers. He had heard her.

She gasped in shock and called louder.

"Ben!?" She yelled.

This time he reached for her, making an effort to grasp her hand. She reached further. A storm started brewing, rain pelting Rey's face and bare arms making her platform slick, but she kept reaching for Han's son. 

The waves gave it everything they had pulling him away from her but he always came back into her reach. Over and over they reached for each other, she still calling his name.

Their hands touched and Rey gripped his palm and pulled with everything she had, using the force, to help her pull him onto the haven. His hands gripped at the rock, his nails digging into the surface. 

She steadied herself and pulled at his tunic trying to get him onto her safe haven. His torso steadied on the haven and she fell back, them both panting hard. The waves were relentless crashing against him. She willed them to calm, holding her hand out in the water, letting the darkness consume her as he tried to get away. It wasnt pleasant and made her blood run cold, but she had to give him a diversion, so he could escape. 

He managed to pull himself onto the platform. She pulled her hand from the water and they fell side by side watching the storm brew and rage. 

"How did you...?" He started to ask.

"How did I know?" She finished.

He nodded blinking through the rain. She studied his face. He was looking out into the inky sea, face lost in thought, slightly confused.

"I'm sorry." She said.

He frowned. "Why?"

"I didn't mean to, you know, use that name? Your...name, that your..." She stumbled over her apology.

He gave a tight smile. "He was, more important to me then I thought." His eyebrows furrowed slightly. "I would skin anyone who dared call me that." 

She bit her lip and wrapped her arms around herself. 

"But I'm glad you did." He turned and looked at her. "Thank you Rey."

Rey nodded.

"You've done a lot for me as of recent. Why?" He questioned.

Why? Why did she? She frowned at the shadowy water. It seemed to have calmed. She shrugged. 

He looked back out at the waves and nodded. 

"So who is it? Kylo or Ben?" Rey pondered aloud, throwing the question out there.

Running his fingers through his hair and shugged. She chuckled humorlessly and nodded.

Pulling her knees up to her chest and hugged them close as the rain weakened into a mist. 

"Don't you think this is going a little fast?"

"What is?" He asked.

"Whatever this is. You were trying to kill me yesterday. And now were here. Wherever here is." She looked around as the sky cleared. 

He shrugged. "Mindscape." He said answering the lesser question. She looked over at him and he waved his hand at the steady rolling inky black waves. "It's the Force. The black sea is, well the dark side, and normally the light is a grand island, which should be somewhere." He frowned and looked at their rock. I'm not really sure what this is. Or why were together in one mindscape." 

Reys eyebrows furrowed. Was there something wrong with their rock? Was there something wrong with them being together? If she remember correctly this rock had saved him from drowning.

He paused and decided to answer the burning question. 

"Someone... once told me that things move faster during war times."

She looked at him for a further explanation, but he gave none. 

They sat in silence for a while when he suddenly tensed.

"We need to leave here. Now." He said agitated.

She flinched back, doubt rushing through her. 

Was something wrong with this place? Was something wrong with this? Was he telling her that everything she had just done for him meant nothing? Was their truce over? Did she mean nothing to him again?

Betrayal hit her hard, a pain she never had the luxury of having before. She clenched her jaw and bit back tears as she ripped herself from the 'mindscape.'

·····

When she opened her eyes, she felt the power of a saber.

Kylo's saber. 

This was it. She had lost. She had chosen wrong. She let the tears she was fighting against fall. 

Why was she so stupid? What the hell was wrong with her?

She looked up to face him, but saw a different scene than the execution she was ready for.

His back was to her and his saber was out defensively. The saber hummed in his hand, the blade no longer a sporadic chaotic beam. It was calm and controlled, like hers, a steady stream of plasma that was held in front of him.

Rey let out a curse.

They were surrounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you think I forgot about where they were? I told you I have plans for them. 
> 
> Also, the wartime thing came from another fic called Chill Or Be Chilled and it is amazing for all the undertale fans out there. It is also me addressing that fast pace they're moving in. But with bonds like the one they have, things move like that. With reckless abandon, which makes them all the sweeter... To break.
> 
> And hey look, Ben's back, and Snoke is getting a run for his money. Who I really do have plans for. 
> 
> I love you all. Thanks for all the support my dears.


	15. This is Why We Can't Have NiceThings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw. 
> 
>  
> 
> Haunted by Taylor swift is this mood. Good song, good match.
> 
> Have fun.
> 
> I'm not sorry.

"Something's made your eyes go cold  
  
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Something's gone terribly wrong  
You're all I wanted  
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted"

-Haunted, Taylor Swift

 

_____________________________________________

 

She stood slowly surveying the area and grabbed her staff off her back and ignited it, letting the plasma blade give her some light.

Her eyes adjusted in the dim light, and before her stood storm troopers, the one Finn called Phasma, and a red head she had seen once or twice before.

The dim light of her golden blade casted deep shadows on the agressors, giving them menacing features. Rey took a step back towards Kylo so that their backs touched. He jumped slightly at the contact but remained, rigid.

The red head spoke.

"I see that you have completed your mission Ren. How lovely."

The red head spoke so condescendingly to him. His voice was sickly sweet.

Rey coiled back and felt a twinge of hatered towards the man she didnt know. A few doubts ran through her mind about the mention of his mission but she dismissed them.

"And I see you're out doing errands again Hux." Kylo said with vile.

Apparently Kylo was just as disapproving of the man as he was of him. That made her wonder about how the red head had survived so long with Kylo's...

tendencies.

The red head, whose name Kylo said was Hux narrowed his eyes at him.

"Turn her over, Ren. Or do you wish to commit treason against the First Order?"

Kylo scoffed and lowered his saber moving away from her.

She frowned.

What did he think he was doing?

Where was he going?

Kylo didn't skip a beat and said.

"She's all yours."

What?

No. He didn't.

He couldn't have.

_Ben...?_

The truth set in.

Ben was gone.

Rey felt her mouth hang open. His words cut her like a knife. A deep pain in her soul that made her want to hide, so that no one could see her tears. Rey blinked away those tears as the troopers raised their blasters. She didn't care. She was wrong. She had chosen wrong.

She heard Kylo's saber turn off as he stepped further away from her. A coldness came with the more distance he put between them.

"That wont be necessary, she'll come quietly," he turned to face her. "Won't you?"

Rey could have screamed.

She could have cried.

She should have fought back.

But she didnt. She was in such a shock that her limbs wouldnt move to make the first strike. Her mouth wouldn't budge to say the first words. She stood frozen in time, in the pain he had caused, deeper than any physical wound she had endured. A pain that reminded her getting close to someone made them more dangerous.

Kylo Ren force called her saber to his palm and shut it off. She stared at him in utter disbelief. She didn't want go believe it.

Who the hell was that and where was the man she had just saved?

Troopers came up behind her and secured her arms behind her back roughly, holding a blaster to her side.

"Move."

Reys feet moved for her. She remained numb, not feeling a thing. Not wanting to feel a thing. This wasnt the time. And certianly not the place. Not in front of him. She couldnt let him see the damage. She wouldnt let him see the damage.

She walked in the direction the Troopers lead her and something caught her eye.

His stone.

Kylo's stone was discarded on the ground a few feet from him.

Rey closed her eyes and used what little strength she had and called to it with the force, running her thumb over it a few times before sliding it into her small belt pocket that resided where the troopers had secured her arms.

Finn had once told her that the masks they wore as troopers had a bad vision field. She guessed it was true by the way they didn't stop her.

They marched her to a carrier and guided her towards a cell, locking her it in. She leaned against the wall and sank down to the floor.

Rey stared straight ahead, letting the numbness take over her, and let reality set in.

He had played her.

A game he won over her.

He had played his role, and so did she, without knowing it.

She had been the fool.

She was a fool.

There was no hope for him. It was all just a russe.

A façade.

She stared blankly at nothing. The stone burning a hole in her belt.

__________________________________

 

Voices whispered in his head, soflty calling to him.

'Drop it.'

'Drop the stone.'

'It will only hinder your lightsaber abilities. You need to be at your best.'

'Drop it.'

Thinking nothing of it, he did. He let the stone fall from his hand and gripped his saber tighter.

The last memory of Ben, and the girl who had brought him back faded away.

__________________________________

Snoke had his pawn back once more.

He was pleased with his pet for coming back and completing his mission.

His hinderance and defiance would not be taken out on him, but to break the boy who had tried to crawl back out.

His puppet needed to practice his tourting skills in any case. Now that he had the girl, this was the perfect opportunity.

His defiance and her deception would both be paid handsomely.

Snoke slowly crept back into his apprentice's mind, easing his way to destory all doubts without him noticing, as the supreme leader has done before.

This girl would mean nothing to his pawn.

After all, any pet of his was obedient and never had a weakness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.  
> There's that.


	16. An Empty Feeling and An Old Friend

"Every time you're feeling empty

Better thank your lucky stars  
If you ever felt one breaking  
You'd never want a heart

 

Hey there, Mr. Tin Man  
You don't know how lucky you are  
I've been on the road that you're on  
It didn't get me very far

 

Hey there, Mr. Tin Man  
You can take mine if you want it  
It's in pieces now  
If you don't mind the scars  
You give me your armor  
And you can have my heart

-Tin Man, Miranda Lambert

 

_____________________________________________

Rey wanted to be mad.

She wanted to scream.

She wanted to pay him back.

And most of all

She wanted to have seen it coming.

But she didn't. She gave in to kindness, and goodness. She let him in. She gave him a place to dwell within her.

And he brutally ripped himself away. It left her jagged. It left her longing for reconciliation. It left her plotting her revenge. She wanted to be vile and cruel, like he had been. She wanted to let it go and be better than that.

She wanted him to apologize. She wanted him to burn in hell.

Instead, it all left her numb. Indecisive. The kind of feeling when words are left unspoken.

After all,

What was there to say?

What was there to do?

He had chosen his path, and again forced her into hers. A path she didnt want to go down. A path she never wanted to follow.

She would have to be smarter. She would have to work harder. It was the only way she could make it through this. Through this...

Betrayal?

Pain?

There are no words for a jagged soul. No description of feeling. It was nothing and everything. And it consumed her.

It consumed her until tears stung her eyes. It consumed her when she blinked them away. After all, what was there to cry for?

It made her mind murky and dark. It made her limbs heavy and numb. It made her soul ache and bleed.

How do you heal a soul wound?

________________________________________________

 

It had been hours into their travel though hyperspace. Hux spoke in hushed tones to Phasma.

"Why isnt she fighting back? She didn't even fight when we restained her." He whispered.

Phasma shrugged. "I thought she was supposed to be more animated than this too. I guess we underestimated Ren's abilities."

Hux gave a curt nod.

"It seems we have." He agreed. "Where is Ren anyways?" He wondered aloud.

"My troops saw him enter his quarters with the girl's saber and hasnt left since."

_____________________________________________

 

Kylo knelt in meditation, letting the darkness of the force roll through him. He had been so foolish to let that scavenger hinder him from his true purpose. She was nothing but a lying seductress. Weak and pathetic, knowing the ways of a Jedi.

He threw up mental walls to block out her deception. There was no room for weakness in a Sith Lord.

He let the darkness roll through him, welcoming the pain and torture like an old friend. He remained in meditation for hours.

He would become one with the dark side once more.

____________________________________________

 

At some point during her captivity Rey had let her eyes drift close and had fallen asleep.

·····

She had found herself in the mindscape, but no longer was she in the raging black ocean, but sitting on a beach of white sand, close to the wake, the fading waves barely caressing her toes.

The sun was low in the sky, casting beautiful colors along the horizon.

She was alone. She was calm and tranquil. She let everything fade and enjoyed the sunset. She let herself enjoy the moment of peace. The force may be everywhere, but Rey could spare these few precious moments.

Someone came walking along the beach towards her. She felt their footsteps send vibrations through the sand. Rey paid them no mind. She let her eyes watch the colors fade into the horizon.

The person had a seat beside her.

"I never did like sand." A male voice said after a while.

Rey gave a small smile. Neither did she, but it was home she supposed. This sand was slightly different from Jakku's but it was something that would always be part of her.

"So what are you going to do now?" The man asked her.

Rey made no attempt to respond. She didnt have plans. Not anymore. The sunset was enough for her.

"Don't tell me you've given up," He questioned.

Giving up sounded perfect to Rey at the moment.

"Why shouldn't I?" She asked, her eyes fixed in their place.

The man gave a small chuckle. "Because I've been where he's been. I just wish I had someone to pull me out of it sooner."

Rey frowned and looked over.

"Who are you?"

Her eyes met a man with shaggy brown hair and deep brown eyes.

Like Ben's.

No, Ben doesnt exist.

The brown haired man was dressed in traditional Jedi robes.

"My name is Anakin Skywalker." He said proudly, a sad smile adorning his lips. "And Rey, despite what has happened, Ben Solo isn't gone."

Rey stared in disbelief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all.
> 
> Don't give up on them yet.


	17. A Sunrise and A Queen

"For some people small, beautiful events are what life is all about." -DW

 

_____________________________________________

 

Knowing it would be a few hours before they neared the Finalizer Kylo decided to get some rest to make up for his lack there of over the past few days.

Lying on his back on the small cot that had encompassed most of his pathetic excuse for his quarters on the carrier, Kylo closed his eyes and fell into another restless night. 

His dreams took him to the mindscape.

·····

He was sitting on the wake of the black sea again, the waves crashing against his legs, soaking them in their shadows. He was alone, like always, watching the sunrise over the horizon. 

He watched the colors fade into the dark night sky as the sun rose to shine light on his face. He sighed as the tide came in slowly drenching him, but kept focus on the sunrise. 

Kylo never stayed in one place long enough to sit and enjoy the sunrise. The mindscape gave him enough to remain content without it. 

He sensed another presence there with him. Again, how did people keep doing that?

He frowned. Again? This was the first time he could remember. The scavenger flashed through his mind, but the though was dismissed as Kylo stood to face the threat.

He was knee deep in water when he stood and tensed, ready for battle. But a woman greeted his sights. Not just any female, but his grandmother, Padme Amidala, still young and beautiful.

She was clothed in a long flowing dress that shifted from a soft pearl to a faint violet, held up by a halter of silver medal. Her hair pulled back by delicate twists. 

Kylo relaxed slightly, becoming confused.

Padme smiled.

"Hello, my grandson."

Kylo gave a polite nod, still tense. He didnt trust her quite yet.

Padme seem to know that he didnt trust her as well.

"Relax my child, and come from the water, you'll catch a cold if you stay for too long."

He moved out of the water slowly making his way onto the porcelain sand; it sticking to his wet feet getting between his toes, the softness startling him. He had never been barefoot on dry sand before.

"Why are you here?" He asked curtly.

Amidala chuckled softly. 

"Oh how you remind me of your grandfather." She smiled. "Same spirit inside of you." She sighed wistfully as if a memory took her away. "I have come to ask you something."

"Well?" Kylo started getting irritated. The sun had almost finished its beautiful rise and his grandmother was ruining it for him.

"Why did you turn the girl in, after she saved you many times?" Padme asked. "She gave up quite a bit for you and you betray her. You, who have a bond with the girl. Who felt her pain inside when you said those menacing words."

Kylo stared in disbelief. This scavenger had never saved him. She was nothing but a liar, a seductress, to hinder him from his path. She never would have helped him. No one did.

Kylo glared at the woman. 

"She did nothing for me. She means nothing to me."

Padme just smiled. 

"You can deny it all you want, Ben, but the truth shall always ring true."

His grandmothers form shifted and she dissolved into the scavenger, standing there, in the same beautiful gown looking at him with melancholy.

"I helped you and you betrayed me."

·····

Kylo awoke in a cold sweat. The dream faded fast and he remembered very little, but it left him with an unsettling feeling, that he couldnt place and it angered him. 

He let out a huff of frustration and got out of the cot and went to the refresher to try and wash off the feeling.

After a disappointing shower and still an uncomfortable feeling in his chest, Kylo got dressed for the day, doning his spare set of clothes and mask. 

The carrier had no training room or arena that he could expel some of his anger so he paced back and forth in his room, wearing a path in the floor.

·····

The carrier approached the Finalizer, and got ready to unload. Kylo went to check on his scavenger and found her fast asleep against the wall.

He was about to wake her up when he noticed something tucked in her belt.

He used the force to call it to him, and in his gloved hands was a small stone. He rolled his eyes. Once a scavenger, always a scavenger. Finding and keeping worthless things. 

"Master Ren, we've landed and are prepared to disembark." A trooper said timidly behind him. Shooting a glare at the trooper, who quickly scurried away, he put the stone into a small pocket in his belt. Deciding to examine it later to see if maybe it did have worth, he picked up the unconscience girl, walking off of the carrier and onto the Finalizer, ignoring the stares at his actions of carrying the scavenger.

It was nice to be back to what was familiar to Kylo, despite the foreign weight in his arms. He went down to the detention level and put the scavenger into another cell. He looked at the girl who adjusted herself on the steel cot, still sleeping soundly. He found himself taking off his cloak and draping it over her, then he turned to leave, securing the door. 

"Ren you're wanted in the control room." An officer informed him. 

"Thank you." He replied moving his way down the hall to the control room.

He walked in on Hux droning on about the glories of the First Order. Kylo stood in the back, observing, waiting.

 

_______________________________________

 

Rey awoke slowly through a sluggish fog, trying to shake off the peculiar dream she had had. Blinking through the haze Rey realized she wasn't in the cell she was when she fallen asleep.

Her fingers brushed over something black and warm that covered her. It smelled like him. Rey frowned and sat up clutching the cloth in her hands.

Rey let out a painful gasp and threw it to the floor as if it burned her. She backed herself into the corner of the cot against the wall and hugged her knees staring at the mass of black cloth on the floor.

Was he trying to drive her insane? Was he still playing this game with her? What the hell was wrong with that man? How could he be so cruel to her? 

Seeing that she was finally alone, Rey let her tears fall. 

Fall for the man who had hurt her. For the man who had left her broken. For the man who she had given so much to. She cried for the man who still could be saved.

She cried quietly until she ran out of tears. Then she was left alone with her thoughts.

She ran through the dream over and over. Of the man who claimed to be Anakin Skywalker. Of his words that claimed that Ben was still there, that Ben could still be saved.

She checked her belt for his stone and found it missing. She wanted to cry again. That was her only hope, and now it was gone. She couldnt see any other way to save him. 

She sat in her cell, thinking, confused as to what to do. Giving up still sounded like a good option, but if there was any hope for Ben, she couldnt do that. She thought of his betrayal, and why she even would try to help him again after what he did.

So many quarries left her so lost in thought that Rey didnt notice her cell door open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Symbolism is becoming a very big part of the fic if you havent noticed.
> 
> Also we have a little bit of Padme, who is probably my favorite character in the whole series.
> 
> So both Rey and Kylo are being challenged by dead people, which is always fun. 
> 
> Theyre confused and young being pulled a million different ways, give them patience.
> 
> AN: Come bug me on Tumblr at MissMarrinette.


	18. A Turn Of Events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My boyfriend told me to do it.

"Fire and ice, somehow existing together without destroying each other..."  
-The Twilight Saga

 

________________________________________________

 

Phasma couldn't stop thinking about the girl and how desolate she look. She found herself piting the girl.

Grabbing some food from the cafe and her extra set of clothes she went to the girls cell and walked in on the girl staring at the wall. She also noticed Ren's cloak in a heap on the floor. 

What was wrong with the girl? She was supposed to be stubborn and volatile, but here the girl was, tears staining her cheeks, just staring. 

Phasma cleared her throat and the girl looked up at her, then back down. Well, there was the stubbornness.

Phasma sighed and placed the food and clothes on the metal cot, also picking up the cloak and folding it neatly. The girl looked at the items with disdain.

"What is wrong with you people?" She asked.

Phasma was confused and slightly irritated.

"Do you not want them then?" 

Rey didnt respond.

Phasma sighed. 

"Were not all monsters you know. Everyone has a story. Don't judge before you know it." 

And with that Phasma left.

 

_______________________________________

"Master Ren." 

Kylo looked up from the girls saber he was dissecting.

"Emperor Snoke shall be here with a weeks cycle."

Kylo nodded at the officer and went back to the saber.

It was a unique design and well built. He'd expect no less from someone who had spent their whole life around mechanics.

The girl had carved names in the staff. Finn, BB-8, Leia, Han, Luke, and, he frowned. Kylo. 

His name was etched into her saber. Just as old as the others. As if she was thinking of him along with the others. 

He brushed off the ridiculous thought and continued examining it.

The saber seemed to have a locking mechanism in the center, but Kylo couldnt figure out how to unclasp it. 

Growling in frustration he force threw the saber across the room. It clattered to the floor, undamaged, mocking him. 

Grabbing his own saber he went to the training room and tore through every droid once more, suddenly stopping when instead of the next droid, it was the girl. Her cheeks wet from crying, blood seeping through her tunic over her heart. 

Kylo roared in frustration and thumbed off his saber. The girl went away and it was nothing but a droid once more. With an intense stare from Kylo the droid exploded. 

"You hesitate Ren, why?"

It was Phasma. Rarely had he seen her out of armor, but here she was observing him.

"That is no concern of yours." He growled.

"Its the girl." Phasma stated as of she knew.

Ren ignited his saber again and rushed towards Phasma, using the force to restrain her against the wall. He raised his saber to strike and once more his sights showed him the girl. Kylo dropped his saber and backed away, releasing Phasma. 

It was time to end this. It was time to end this girl. This, this obstacle.

He stormed to the detention level calling his saber to his hand, and force opened her cell door. 

What he saw he was not ready for.

_______________________________________

 

After satisfing her hunger with the food Phasma had brought her, Rey decided to change into the clothes that Phasma had also given to her.

She was taken aback by the, once seemingly cruel, woman's kind gesture.

'Everyone had a story' she had said. 

Stripping her old clothes, and sighing at them, for they brought back memories of Gaeli and her kindness, and of Kylo and his cruelness. She picked up the soft grey cotton and examined it. It looked as if they were slightly too large for her but she didnt have much of an option.

Starting to unfold the clothes she whipped around as her cell door opened. 

She froze as her eyes met Kylo's.

_______________________________________

 

Kylo's heart raced as he took in the sight of her.

She looked just as startled as he did.

He slammed the cell door shut and leaned against it, rubbing his face, as warmth flushed through his cheeks.

Damn that girl.

That stupid.

Wretched.

Beautiful,

Girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our poor babies.


	19. A Different Kind Of Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read with digression. It gets a little dark. There are other monsters in the real world that hide in our midst. Those are spoken of in the chapter.

"I loved [him] more then I should. And yet, it was still no where near enough."  
-Bella, Eclipse

 

_______________________________________________

 

Rey looked at the door, frozen in shock.

What the kriff had just happened?

Well she could tell you exactly what had happened but...

She threw on the clothes quickly and rushed to the door, her cheeks flushing. She banged on the door furiously.

"Kylo kriffing Ren you better open this door and explain what the kriff you think you were doing!" She screamed.

Her cheeks burned as she paced around her cell. 

"What the hell Kylo!?" She yelled at the door.  

_______________________________________

 

Kylo stared at the blank wall as the girl yelled at him.

He couldnt get the image out of his head. She was lean and tan and beautiful. 

Kylo growled. That damn seductress. Snoke was right. He got up and opened the cell door once more, anger blazing through him.

He saw the girl, with clothes on this time, red in the face, as livid as he was. 

"Screw you Kylo." She hissed venomously. "You hurt me, toy with me, betray me, and now you've invaded my privacy! What the hell is wrong with you? You. You..." She turned to face him. "You asshole." 

Kylo chuckled. "That all you got? How pathetic."

Anger flared in Reys eyes. She noticed Kylo's saber on his belt and called it to her hand, igniting it. The black metal weapon felt foreign in her hands.

"I'll show you pathetic." She growled. 

He laughed and held his arms out.

"By all means, kill me. Let's see what you've got scavenger." 

She glared at him.

"You dont have it in you. You're weak. Tainted by the light. Trained by a foolish Jedi. You couldnt kill me on the Starkiller, and you cant kill me now. You pathetic little girl."

She laughed. 

"I have news for you Kylo." She raised the saber ready to strike. "I'm no Jedi." 

With that she grazed the saber along his shoulder then twirled and swung back around to graze his side. It would be enough to cause him pain without, well, doing what she wanted, which was kill him. He was right. She wasnt going to kill him. It wasnt in her nature. 

He knelt in pain and shock clutching his shoulder. Storm troopers ran up to his aid.

"No!" He roared. "Leave us now!" 

Rey smirked and thumbed off his saber, standing over him. 

"Not so tough now are you Kylo?" She said smugly.

He smiled at the floor and used his good arm to take out her legs, knocking her on her back, the saber skittering out of her hand. He stood towering over her.

She gasped. "You little..." She glared up at him.

He smirked. "Not so tough now are you Rey?"

She growled and picked herself up.

"Asshole." She growled.

"So you keep telling me." He mused.

She rushed at him and swung a few punches, of which he dodged effortlessly. 

"Tsk tsk tsk. So brash. No form at all. What did he even teach you?" He mocked. 

He was toying with her and he knew it. This anger and hate she felt towards him fueled the darkness around them. It both pleased and upset him. He had invisioned her by his side ruling over the dark side, but she was also a blaze of light he couldn't help but admire.

Rey and Kylo went on sparring through the halls, having troopers and personnel dash out of the way. Kylo blocking and Rey attacking him with everything she had, which wasnt much but it amused him. 

"Need a break yet?" He asked after a while.

She glared at him panting. "I hate you."

He chuckled. "Not very light sided of you Rey."

She huffed. "I'm. Not. A. Jedi." She growled and hit him square in the face.

Kylo took a step back shocked. He raised his hand to his face and felt blood trickling from his nose. She was smiling as if she was proud of herself.

He rolled his eyes and used the force to pin her against the wall. She looked livid, and tried to fight against it. He stalked over to her, and held her head against the wall by her hair, glaring down at her. His hatred for her was matched in the look on her eyes. 

"You foolish girl." He said glaring at her. 

In her eyes blazed a fire of passion and stubbornness.

Someone cleared their throat.

"Ren?" 

It was Hux. 

"Leave us." Kylo growled.

"Is there a problem Ren? Is the scavenger too much for you to handle?" He mused. "Maybe I should take her off your hands for the night? Maybe have a little fun with her? It is so rare we get female prisoners aboard."

Kylo felt Rey's pace quicken as she realized what Hux was suggesting and shrank back against the wall.

Even with his mental walls up, Kylo could feel the fear and disgust rolling off of her. 

Kylo whipped around and stood infont of Rey.

"If your saying what I think you're saying, I would reconsider. An offence like that by a First Order General is punishable by death, and I have so been looking forward to spilling your blood." Kylo hissed out.

Rey was his. No one would touch her. 

_______________________________________

 

Rey stared at Kylo's back in disbelief. 

Was he really protecting her? What the hell happened to trying to kill her? They just...fought in the hallways. He had just betrayed her, not yesterday. What was he doing?

Rey thought back to her dream, and Anakin. Maybe he was right. Maybe she could save Kylo.

_______________________________________

 

Hux persisted. 

"And who would tell them? Surely not you, Ren. You've hated her from the moment you two met. Unless, of course you have a weakness for the girl?" He looked at Rey. "After all, she's just asking for it by the way she's dressed."

Rey looked at her shirt. It had fallen off her shoulder and revealed most of her chest. She fixed it quickly and stood closer behind Kylo.

Anger flared through Kylo, hot and buring. Yes he hated the girl, but he wouldnt let anyone take advantage of her. Especially not Hux.

He called his saber to his hand from down the hall and ignited it. In a quick fast paced motion, General Hux was no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Hux is finally dead. And Rey is confused. And Kylo is confused. 
> 
> But one thing is sure. 
> 
> No one can hurt Kylo but Rey.
> 
> And no one can hurt Rey but Kylo.
> 
> Ah, young love.


	20. An Insignificant Significance

"It started out as a feeling  
Which then grew into a hope  
Which then turned into a quiet thought  
Which then turned into a quiet word"  
-The Call, Regina Spektor

 

_____________________________________________

 

Kylo turned around to Rey, clipping his saber back to his belt, adrenaline still rushing through his veins. She had a look of shock on her face. Before Rey could say a word, Kylo used the force and rendered her unconscious. 

She would ask too many questions that he didnt have answers for.

He picked her up carefully, his side and shoulder still stung from where she had pierced him earlier. Her dead weight was becoming more familiar in his arms and it worried him.

Surely the supreme leader had plans for her. She'd probably be dead within a fortnight. 

He returned her to her cell, and laid her on the cot, unfolding his cloak once more and draping it over her. He left without another word.

·····

When Kylo strode down the hall, heading back to his quarters, he saw Phamsa standing over Huxs corpse. Her eyes flashed to his.

"Thank you." Was all she had said.

Kylo nodded. Rey wasnt the first woman Hux had preyed on. But Rey was the last. 

"Clean this up." He ordered. "And tailor the scavenger clothes that fit. I won't have anyone aboard this ship dressed like a whore."

Phasma nodded. "Of course, sir."

Kylo made his was back to his personal quarters.

Once inside he set his saber on his desk and headed to the 'fresher to wash his face of the blood and find the bacta patches he kept for emergencies. 

Splashing water on his face he looked up in the mirror. His eyes met his face, pale, with an angry scar down the left side. Her scar. 

The scavenger. He was so confused about her. The supreme leader had told him that the girl was weak and an obstacle. But with the days he spent with her, he saw no weakness, and he saw no obstacle.

He saw a girl, stubborn and passionate, who did everything with determination. She was loyal and kind, and despite everything that he had ever done to him, she had never once turned on him. 

Kylo splashed more water on his face and reached for the first aid, unclasping his belt and stripping his outer layers, and shirt then applying the bacta patches. She had cut him deep, but she didn't damage anything vital. Yet.

The girl confused him. He didnt know how to hate her anymore. He didnt have a reason to. Was she his weakness? Did she really make him weak? He had not just killed a man without second thought for her? Had he not used the darkside of the force for that?

His dream flashed through his mind. He thought to Darth Vader. Did he not do everything for Padme? Murder thousands and rule an empire for her honor? Turn to the dark side to save her?

Kylo looked in the mirror once more. He saw an image of a man who looked confused, but determined.

She could join him on the dark side. They could rule together. She was strong. Full of anger, hatred, and the force. They could rule the galaxy together. They would be unstoppable.

_______________________________________ 

Snoke was very displeased with his puppet. Something still hindered him from the supreme leaders full power. He could only lurk and watch. Not intervene. And it infuriated him. There had to be something that wretched girl was doing to keep his pet from him. 

And so the Supreme Leader planned a trip to see his pawn in person. To make him submit once more. The foolish boy. 

He would pay. 

And the girl...

The girl would die.

_______________________________________

Reys dreams troubled her. She saw a shadowy firgure loom over Kylo. He was kneeling in agony howling like a tortured animal. Ropes were attached to Kylo's limbs binding him, cutting into his skin. He was a puppet for the shadowy figure. And he didnt see the bounds.

Anger roared through her blood. She ignited her saber staff, that materialized in her hands, and went to cut the ropes above Kylo.

Little did she notice a red saber pierce her as she came close.

Her light faded as she fell back.

She was going to die, but she had done what she had wanted. The strings were cut and Kylo was free.

·····

Rey woke up in a cold sweat and gripped her chest where the red blade had pierced her. 

There was no evidence of the wound. There was no evidence of the dream.

_______________________________________

 

With the bacta patches secured Kylo redressed. Picking up his belt, he felt a forigen lump in a pocket.

Oh, the stone he had taken from the girl. 

The unzipped the pocket and felt the rugged edge with his fingertips.

Everything came back to him. 

·····

Kylo heard a knock on his door.

"Enter." He said calmly.

It was Phasma.

"I have the clothes you asked for sir." She said monotone.

"Thank you, leave them." He said still examining the stone.

He remembered it power, but he never remembered it being so strong. The stone had been with him the whole time and not once had he heard from Snoke. He had felt possessive of the girl, and saved her. 

He examined the small rock.

Had this insignificant thing done that?

"Is everything alright sir?" Phasma asked.

Kylo looked up. "Yes. You may leave."

With that Phasma left, leaving the clothes on the bed. 

Kylo got up and took off his outer robe, leaving just his shirt. Assembling a small satchel, which contained Reys new clothes and a comb, he set off to the cafeteria to get her food, along with some for himself. Pulling up the hood of his spare cloak to cover his face, he on his journey, the small rock still clutched in his hand.

_______________________________________

This time there was a knock on Reys door.

She hugged her knees and backed into the corner, not responding. She was afraid. She didnt know that people like Hux had been everywhere. There were plently on Jakku to last her a lifetime.

"Rey?" A farmiliar voice asked.

Rey stood cautiously. It was Kylo but he never used her actual name. Something must be wrong.

"Kylo?" She said questioning.

Her cell door opened, and Kylo stepped in lowering his hood. He raised his hand and she flinched. Noticing this Kylo stepped back.

"I came here to talk Rey," He opened his ungloved palm. She gasped.

"How did you...?" She asked.

He chuckled. " I took it off of you when I wasnt so... sound of mind."

She looked up at him.

"So now what?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so marks the beginning.


	21. A First Meal

"Then that word grew louder and louder  
Til it was a battle cry."  
-The Call, Regina Spektor

 

_______________________________________________

 

"Now what." He echoed. 

Rey folded her arms around her and looked at the floor.

He looked down. He was so stupid. Why would she want to be with him? Why would anyone? He was cruel, and hurt without thinking. He had mistakes he could never try to reconcile. He had given up. On the people around him. On his family. On himself. He hurt people. Murdered innocents, and now he wanted to...

He wanted to...

To what?

...now what? 

"Forget it." He muttered. 

Reys eyes darted away from the floor and he felt her hand placed over his and the stone. 

"Kylo," She said softly.

He looked up at her.

Rey. The amazing bold stubborn girl In front of him. The one who never gave up on the screwed up galaxy. Who saw the best in people, the best in him. The girl who didnt give up on him. The girl that had accepted him. The girl that he lo-

Kylo squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't. Not yet. It was too soon. They needed time.

_______________________________________

Rey studied Kylo. 

More than anything she wanted to help him. He was the strongest man she had ever met. He was bold and reckless, and stood up in ways she never could. He was also hurting and helpless, fighting a battle he couldn't win with brute strength. She yearned to help him. 

But.

She wasn't enough.

She was nothing. A poor girl from nowhere, who had been abused and shoved into a world she had no part of. She was alone, broken and surviving. How could she even begin to help him if she couldn't help herself? How could she bring him out of a place of darkness that she too was in? She couldn't help anyone. Look at her, she was in a cell. A prisoner, because she cared too much. She cared to much for a galaxy that didn't care at all.

Rey laughed hopelessly. Kylo joined in. She rubbed her face and just laughed. She laughed at the ridiculousness of their situation. Of the small stone in their hands that somehow had enough power to control the oaf in front of her. She laughed at her feelings, and her wanting and needing to help him.

She let out a sigh and offered Kylo a smile.

"Now," she started. "We start at the beginning."

"The beginning?" He asked.

She nodded.

"We'll have to figure this out a step at a time. Starting with that food." She gestured to the stacked trays in his other hand.

"Oh?" He smiled. 

Rey was starting to like when he did. It chased the sadness away from his face. It was like a different man stood in front of her.

She nodded and took a step back so Kylo could come into the small cell. With the two of them in there it felt less lonely. Rey had hated the blank, dull, grey walls that imprisoned her. 

Her eyes flashed to Kylo and they stood there. He chuckled and looked down. 

She gestured to the floor. "Shall we?" 

They sat on the floor and he placed the trays on the floor and handed her the bag.

Confusion crossed her face.

"I, uh, they're clothes, I, had them tailored, for you." He stumbled over his words and his cheeks flushed a slight pink.

"Thank you." She said with a smile.

She was touched. Sort of. It comforted her that he was thinking of her, but it was strange to have someone look out for her. But if they were made for her, that also meant that someone on this ship knew her sizes, which was off putting. 

_______________________________________

Handing her a tray, Kylo waited for her to start before be began. It was something his mother taught him from when he was little. To be a gentleman.

She ate quickly and quietly as if it would disappear if she didnt eat it. 

He knew she was a scavenger, an orphan, but in the past twelve hours, he realized she had been through a lot more than he could imagine. He had never looked into Jakku, but from what he's seen from her, it seemed a lot worse than he thought when first hearing of the desert planet.

Kylo ate slowly, the food not very appetizing despite Reys hurry. The food aboard the carrier wasnt half bad, but it also wasnt the best he had ever eaten.

He fidgeted with the rock anxiously in his hand. His force powers were hindered, and bothered him. He wasnt used to not having them. He relied on them most times. And without them he felt weak.

'Have you even tried using them?' Rey thought to him.

He looked up at her.

'How did you...?'

Rey looked up startled. 

"Why are you in my head?" She scolded.

He made an exasperating gesture. 

"Why were you in mine?"

"Was not." She said stubbornly.

"Was too."

"Was not!

"You started it!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

She growled and huffed crossing her arms. Kylo rolled his eyes.

"You can disagree all you want, you started it. You asked me why I havent tried using my powers with the stone yet."

She looked down.

"Im not mad Rey, but you cant go around accusing everyone for your faults."

She glared up at him, her anger flaring. 

"Oh so now that you have the stone, and aren't that monster, you think you're all high and mighty, huh? Is that it Ren?" She growled.

"Oh like you have any right to start pointing fingers. What about you? Theif, and traitor." He spat.

"And who have I betrayed huh? Unlike you, who just left me! Youre the one who just killed a man for force sake!" 

"For you, you ignorant girl! I did it to protect you!" He yelled. 

She shrank back. Kylo took a deep breath.

"I did it to protect you Rey." He looked at the stone in his palm. It was so small compared to his hands, but so powerful. 

"Ever since I've had my own mind, I've been doing everything I can to protect you." He said to the stone. 

Rey bit her lip. 

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

Kylo looked up. "Its okay, I probably deserved most of it."

"Most of it?" She challenged.

He chuckled. "Okay, okay. All of it,"

Rey smiled. He returned it. 

He didnt know what he felt towards her, but it was present, and it was growing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again my lovelies.
> 
> How are y'all?
> 
> Hows life?
> 
> Its getting cold, please stay warm.
> 
> Exams are coming up, dont know if I can still manage to post every day but I will surely try.
> 
> I love writing for you all.
> 
> Stay safe and warm.
> 
> Love,  
> Momma Mari


	22. The Grey Side

"Just because everythings changing  
Doesnt mean its never been this way before."  
-The Call, Regina Spektor

____________________________________________

 

Kylo had stepped out so that Rey could change into the clothes he had given her. 

He heard a knock on the cell door and opened it reentering. He caught sight of Rey. 

She was in a deep grey. A long sleeve shirt hugged her frame, along with a layered, lighter grey vest. Her pants were black and loose, fitted at the calves. She had his cloak drapped around her shoulders. She had found the comb and was working it through her hair slowly. 

"How's your shoulder?" Rey asked, tying up half of her hair into one of her buns, leaving the rest hanging down.

Kylo's heart skipped a beat or two. He took a moment to stop staring.

"It'll be okay. You didnt damage anything vital." Kylo recovered.

"Damn." She smiled. As if she had actually meant to hurt him.

He laughed at the thought. "Better luck next time." 

Rey raised her eyebrows. "Next time?"

Kylo shrugged. "Of course, but next time I wont be so stupid and let you get freebies."

She rolled her eyes. 

"If I remember correctly, I did land a hit on you. Fair and square."

"I suppose." He mused.

"You suppose?" She challenged.

"You distracted me." He stated.

"And how did I do that exactly? I'd like to exploit this weakness as much as possible." She leaned in smirking.

Kylo couldn't say what had actually distracted him. He could blame it on seeing the anger and passion in Reys eyes when she fought. The determination that was always clearly written across her face when she battled and well it was, distracting, to an extent, but his mind flashed back to what he had seen earlier. Her beauty, and curves, the look of shock on her face, and how it made her all the more perfect. A perfection that had distracted him when he noticed her oversized shirt hanging low during their battle. A beauty he couldnt help but want to-

"Well?" She prompted pulling him from his thoughts.

"You said you weren't a Jedi." He covered up quickly. 

"I said it before then too." She pointed out.

He shrugged. "Guess it didn't register."

She raised her eyebrows but said nothing more.

"So your not a Jedi then?" He asked, sitting down, leaning against one of the cell walls.

Rey shook her head and joined him.

"Wasn't for me, Master Skywalker could see that, so, I left." 

"But he trained you?"

She nodded. "I know the ways of the Jedi, but I could never follow them. Skywalker said I was too stubborn and passionate about things."

"Wonder where he got that idea." Kylo teased. 

Rey shot him a glare. He held up his hands in mock surrender.

"I didnt say it was a bad thing, Rey." 

Rey sighed. Ben placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Really, Rey, your passion and stubbornness are what makes you, you. And I wouldnt have it any other way."

Reys eyes met his, searching for something she couldn't find, looking for something just out of reach. She sighed again.

"What?" He asked.

"I can't tell who I'm talking to right now, and it's really confusing me." 

He opened his mouth then closed it. He frowned as he thought. She was right. It was confusing for him, he could only imagine how much more so it would be for her. 

"Ben," he said softly. "Right now, it's Ben. I think. Kylo Ren, he's, an illusion, to portray the dark side... I... Am just as confused as you are about it, but right now it feels like Ben."

She sat in thought for a moment, making him slightly nervous, then spoke.

"What's it like? The dark side?" She asked. 

The question took him by surprise. He chuckled. 

"Why? Thinking about joining?"

Wouldnt that solve all his problems?

She rolled her eyes.

"You wish."

He gave a sad smile. He did wish, but he went on explaining.

"Its powerful and ever shifting. Instead of being warm and inviting, or cool and relaxing, like the light side, it's cold and distant, and hot and scorching. But there's so much power in it."

Rey nodded. 

"Why do you want to know, if not to join?" Ben questioned. 

She shrugged. 

"Luke said something about a path between the two, a grey side of the force. He said that would be what I could follow. What I am."

He made an acknowledging sound. "I never knew there was ever an in between."

"I think..." Rey started, unsure of her words. "I think he looked into it to...try to see if he could..." Her sentence trailed off.

"Save me?" He finished.

She nodded. "I'm not totally sure, but it seemed reasonable. He said it was a very old way of the force, lost to many." She chuckled humorlessly. "As if the way of the Jedi isnt already."

He was going to press further but the overcomm suddenly blared through the speakers hidden in the ceiling.

'Warning. Prisioner on the loose. Female. Last seen armed and dangerous. General Hux confirmed dead. Find at all costs. Shoot on site'

Rey looked over at Ben in a panic. 

"Thats me isn't it? They're going to kill me." 

Ben stood quickly. "No, they're not." He scanned the room and pulled her up from the floor. "But we need to get you out of here."

"So theyre not gonna kill me but were running anyways. Go figure."

Ben made an aggravated groan. "I can just leave you here."

"But you wont," She stated matter of factly. 

"And I hate you for it." 

"I hate you too."

He shot her a warning look.

"Just stay behind me and don't get killed."

"I thought they werent gonna kill me?" She challenged.

Kylo got agitated. "Now is not the time."

He headed out the cell door. She pulled on his hand.

"Ben wait, what about the force, your powers? If you cant use them, then how..?"

"I don't know."


	23. A Spark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to keep going after consulting with some dear friends, and thinking it through. I love my story, and I love my version of the characters, so it's what I'm going to keep. Even with the new movie out, in staying true to my kids. Sorry for the long time between posts so heres a happy chapter with a little fluff.
> 
> I really love you all and all of your support. Never stop.

"My mind forgets to remind me, you're a bad idea...  
You find I'm even better then you imagined I would be  
I'm on my gaurd for the rest of the world,  
But with you, I know it's no good."  
-Sparks Fly, Taylor Swift

 

_______________________________________________

 

The halls were eerily quiet for the panic that was supposedly going on. 

Rey crept behind Kylo slowly, her fingers brushing his back for comfort. Her eyes swept her surroundings. Faint footsteps were heard coming from the North hall. 

"Kylo." She said warningly.

"I hear them, lets go." He said moving in the opposite direction of the sound. 

It lead them to a larger corridor; a symetric maze of grey doors and other hallways that made Rey miss Jakku. Sure it was a lot of sand, and brown, but at least it was natural, unlike the claustrophobic sterile walls of the craft she was on.

He wove in and out of doors and hallways, keeping a clear path, and Rey not knowing where they had been or where they were going.

The footsteps were getting closer. Rey grabbed Kylo's shirt. 

"Kylo." She said worriedly. 

He didn't respond but instead opened a door by seemingly random and took her hand, pulling her inside. 

"Stay here til I come and get you." He said curtly.

She was going to protest but he closed the door and like that he was gone. She growled and was starting to open the door again but something weighed heavy in her hand.

His stone.

She let out a string of curses to his name.

_______________________________________

Kylo didnt know what he was doing but he knew he had to keep Rey safe. Somehow she was his responsibilitiy. From the moment he got his assignment, she was his. He didnt know where They stood, but he would covet her. That much was clear. She was his.

Rey.

Was.

His.

 

So he gave her the stone. He gave her what was left of his life, and he rushed off to figure out what was going on.

He could feel Snoke seeping back into his mind, but his connection with Rey was stronger then ever, so he held onto that. She was here. She needed him. He couldnt let Snoke win. He had more to live for now. He let Rey consume his thoughts. Snokes presence was still heavy in his mind, but held no control over him. He still felt the power of the darkside in his blood, but it wasnt as thick and murky as it had been before. It was a flame, the flame he saw in Reys eyes as she fought, controlled, yet powerful with so much potential. Potential he knew how to use.

A group of storm troopers rushed by and he grabbed one of them.

"Where's Phasma?" He asked, glaring.

The stormtrooper quaked in his grip. 

"I...uh...she's...uh..." The trooper stuttered. Kylo huffed and let him go. The trooper scurried off back to his group falling into rank. 

Kylo closed his eyes and focused. He used the flame of the darkside and located Phasma's signature. It was much stronger then he had imagined. He wondered why he hadn't sensed it before. She was a level above him in a comm room. Another strong force signature accompanied her, of which he didnt recognize.

He took the transport up the level and sought her out. 

When he found her, Phasma was face to face with a familiar Togruta. Her blaster was raised and she was surrounded by a group of storm troopers, hopelessly outmatched. Kylo starred in disbelief and surprise.

"Gaeli!?" He called.

Phasma turned.

"You know her!?" Her mask hissed.

"Yes, stand down." He ordered.

The troopers immediately did and Phasma walked over to where he was standing at the end of the hall. Gaeli lowered her blaster and looked skeptically at him.

"What do we do with her?" Phasma asked.

"Send her to my quarters for further investigation. Can you tell me what this alarm is all about?"

"Well, a cell door read as opened on the scanners, then she showed up, and it was the cause of the panic."

Kylo sighed in relief. They weren't after Rey, who would be grateful to know that her friend wasn't dead. Kylo knew that Rey had thought that the minute they led the palace. He had thought it too. She had committed treason. She should be dead, but for whatever reason she wasn't.

_______________________________________

 

The door wouldnt budge. 

Rey had tried everything. It was voice command and fingerprinted. And neither her voice or fingerprints had worked.

Stupid Kylo and his over guarded door. 

She had also tried to use the force to open it. Which might have worked if she knew how to ise2 the force to open it.

So she was stuck and Kylo was out there doing who knows what with who knows what mental state. 

She glared and growled at the door. Turning around, for the first time she took in where she was. It was a room. It was organized chaos and more then anything it smelled like him.

It had to be his room.

The walls were a soft grey, and made of some sort of sheet rock, instead of metal, like the rest of the force forsaken ship. His bed was centered against the back wall and was massive, with navy blue blankets strewn about. There was a small sitting area with a few couches and a table, again in the deep blue. A desk sat to one side and was covered in papers and broken tech. She noticed her saber staff against a wall, lying there as if it had been thrown. Knowing Kylo, it probably had been. She left it on the floor. It would be there when she needed it, and right now she didn't. Nothing was getting through that door but Kylo. There was also a window, of sorts, it was large and took up most of one wall, but instead of the starry galaxy she knew to be there it showed her a dense forest, with a river flowing through it. It reminded her of Kepler, which saddened her, as memories came back.

She drew closer to the faux window, and her fingers brushed against the cold glass. She was so mesmerized by the landscape she didn't notice the door open behind her.

"Rey!?" A friendly voice asked.

Rey turned and she didn't believe her eyes. 

"Gaeli!?" Rey exclaimed.

She ran to the Togruta and threw her arms around her; the two hugging. 

"I thought you were dead!" Rey said.

Gaeli laughed. 

"It takes a lot more than that to kill me." 

They pulled away from the hug. Rey was beaming. Her friend wasnt dead. She was here in front of her.

_______________________________________

 

Kylo leaned against the wall and watched as Rey reconnected with her friend; her force signature flaring to life with joy and happiness. Kylo loved watching it, so full of life and hope.

Reys eyes wandered to him. She pulled away from her friend and tossed him something he caught with ease.

Her stone. 

Snokes heavy presence faded from his mind, but the darkness still lingered, it being more raw force, than darkness.

"If you hadn't come back with Gaeli I wouldnt forgive you for locking me in here." She said smiling at him.

He chuckled. 

"I'm sure you would have after beating me around a bit." 

Rey rolled her eyes.

"You act like you know me." She teased.

"Maybe because I do." He said smugly.

"Okay what the hell did I miss? I was gone for like, three days, and now you two are a couple?" Gaeli asked.

Reys eyes widened and the pair's faces got red.

"Were not..."

"He's not..."

"...it's just that..."

"....we aren't...."

They stumbled over their words growing redder as Gaeli laughed and held up her hands in mock surrender.

"Alright, alright, I get it. Its complicated. But at least you two arent at each other's throats."

The two looked at the floor still embarrassed. 

Gaeli chuckled.

"Oh man, you guys got it bad."


	24. It's Delicate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff for my sweets

"Is it cool that I said all that?  
Is it too soon to do this yet?  
'Cause I know that it's delicate"  
\- Delicate, Taylor Swift

 

_____________________________________________

 

Kylo watched as Rey got a deep shade of red at Gaelis words. He, no doubt, was too. Did they really look like that from the outside? He frowned. How had everything changed do quickly?

'Things move faster during war times.' His mother told him when he asked why she and Han had married so quickly. He was young and sitting in her lap studying his mother's ring, one his father gave to her for an anniversary. 

Ben was young, and didnt understand what she had meant at the time, but now, he was starting to. 

His eyes flashed back to Rey. She was looking at him. 

Things had changed fast. 

Really fast.

Was it too fast for her? Is it too soon to do this yet? He knew these things were delicate, and he worried for Rey, and her fear of what they had. 

What did they have, seemed to be the question. 

It was something. He was sure. He didn't feel anything like this about anyone before. 

'Ben.' Rey called to his mind pulling him from his deep thought.

He looked up from the space he was staring into.

"Glad to have you back Ren," Gaeli said. 

He flashed a quick smile.

Rey turned to her friend. 

"So what the hell happened? How did you...?"

"How'd I get away without dying?"

Rey nodded.

_______________________________________

Rey thought about Gaeli words. And how they had it bad.

But what was 'it'?

What was Ben to her? What was Kylo to her?

She didnt know either very well, but something changed in him. He seemed more...stable? More alive, and less of a puppet like she had originally thought.

Had she done that? 

She didnt know what she felt towards him, and the more she thought the more confused she got.

It wasnt nothing. There was no denying it. It was definitely something.

Rey didnt know if she had time to wait to see what it was.

It was delicate.

She noticed Kylo lost deep in thought and Gaeli shifting from foot to foot slightly feeling awkward as the pair thought about the words said.

She tried something he had accused her of and reached out with her mind to his, taking down her walls.

'Ben.'

He looked up.

He heard her. 

_______________________________________

Kylo decided to give the girls some time to catch up, so redonned his ridiculous knights of Ren get up and sought out Phasma. He cleared up a few things with her, who he promoted to Hux's old position, about Rey and the new comer, that he informed would be his personal guest. Phasma looked different out of her normal chrome plated armor. 

She looked skeptically at him, with a motherly stare, but didnt question his motives. 

When he returned to his quarters he found the girls sitting on a couch, they looked at him and laughed harder then it seemed they already were. He stood, frozen, like a deer in headlights, not sure of how to approach the situation.

_______________________________________

The girls watched as Kylo left and as soon as he stepped out the door, Gaeli nudged Reys shoulder and murmered.

"So, you like him." 

It wasnt a question. It was a statement.

"I don't know," she paused. "Yet."

Gaeli chuckled. 

"I'm calling it right now."

Rey groaned. 

"Hey its not a bad thing."

"But isnt it?" She complained. "He's so..." She groaned. "I can't get him out of my head and I dont think its a good thing."

Gaeli pulled her to the couches, his couches, Rey thought, and sat her down and stared her in the eyes, her green eyes piercing Reys. 

"Tell. Me. Everything." She said.

Rey blinked.

"Uh...." 

Rey went on and told her of their adventure, if you could call it that. 

She told her about the city and its hold on Kylo's mind, and the stone they had found for him. She tried to explain the mindscape and what had happened there, and her saving of Ben, and who Ben was. She ruefully spoke of his betrayal and had to calm Gaeli down before she went off and killed Kylo for what he did to Rey. She touched on how it made her feel, but didnt go too deep into it. She spoke of Phasma and her kindness, of her dream and Anakin, who she also had to explain to Gaeli who that was, which took a while, because she didnt understand how a man could be so strong in the force. She got red as she told her friend about the incedent of the cell door and Gaeli didnt belive her.

"Wait, so you're saying that he's seen you...."

Rey nodded getting a deeper red. Gaeli howled in laughter. 

"Oh my force! Rey!" She panted through laughs. 

Rey joined in on her laughing, realizing the ridiculousness of it.

"I know! I know!" Rey laughed out. "You should have seen him! He was so red and flustered!"

"What? And you werent!?"

They both looked at the door as it opened and saw Kylo walking through, and started laughing again. He stood frozen looking at them in panic.

"Yep thats the face." Rey said and it made the girls laugh all the harder.

_______________________________________

Kylo wanted to back away slowly from the two laughing girls. He was so confused as to why they were laughing at him.

So he may or may not have looked into Reys mind and seen what she was thinking of.

The 'incident' is what she called it. He realized that she had told Gaeli of it and that how he was standing now, mimicked his response to what had happened. 

His mind flashed back to what he had seen, and Rey, nude and beautiful... 

Kylo blinked away the image before it gave him any ideas. 

'Is that what I look like?'

Rey had been in his mind as he had been in hers.

'Yes.' He said as plainly as he could. 

Did she not know of her own beauty? 

_______________________________________

Gaeli didnt know what was going on between the two force users, but it was something so much bigger than the two cared to admit. 

She knew they had mental conversations with another, about what she could only guess, and by the deep blushes that covered both of their faces, they were thinking about 'the incident.'

She shook her head and wondered how long it would be until they did admit it to themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gaeli is back and I still love her. 
> 
> Now our kids are starting to figure it out. 
> 
> But remember,
> 
> Snoke will be here soon.


	25. Like an Old Couple

"Anything remotely interesting is mad, in some way or another." -DW

_____________________________________________

 

Gaeli watched the two interact as Kylo came closer and sat on the couch opposite them, when the laughter and embarrassment ended. Rey was more rigid then she had been before. Her force signature read discomfort, but it was vague as to why. Maybe Rey didn't even realize, but Kylo noticed. 

"Sorry," he said to her and took off his cloak and outer robe, leaving him in what he was wearing before he left. She noticed two bacta patches, one on his shoulder and another on his side. 

Reys discomfort seemed to disappear, as Kylo seemed more himself.

"How're your injuries?" She asked smiling at the question.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. No thanks to you."

Gaeli cut in. 

"No thanks to her?" She asked skeptically.

Rey chuckled. "You wanna tell her Mister 'let's see what you got'?"

"Well I didnt think you were actually gonna do it."

"I told you I was."

Gaeli watched them bicker and sat back and enjoyed it. She really got a kick out of the two.

"Anyways..." Rey started throwing a glare at Ren. "He came back in, I was livid, took his saber, he said I wouldn't, I did, few minutes later, I punched him in the face, sliced his side and shoulder, and he killed a perv."

"You're leaving out some things." Kylo turned to Gaeli. "She also got knocked off her feet, called me an asshole a few times, and didn't land a punch for a good solid five minutes."

Rey rolled her eyes but didn't deny it.

"Well, it seems you two had quite an adventure." Gaeli said. 

Rey turned and faced her on the couch. 

"I'm sure you have one to tell too."

Gaeli nodded and went off telling her tale.

_______________________________________

The force restricted around Gaeli, she could feel it binding her, cutting deeper and deeper into her, the life being sucked out of her slowly. Her bonds forced her had to drop her blaster and it clattered to the ground. She looked at it. Her blaster. Her fathers blaster. He would never stand for this. 

'Never give up.' He would tell her as a child.

She was trying to shoot a blaster for the first time, and kept missing. Gaeli got fed up with it and threw the blaster across the room. Her father chuckled and scooped her up in his arms.

'Never give up little desert star, no matter what, it never hurts to try again.'

So Gaeli tried. She wouldnt give up. She called on the froce from within her and pushed back against her confines. They loosened. She drew more force from inside her and thought of her father. How proud he would be of her for standing and fighting. 

"What are you doing, you wretched child?" Junu sneered.

Gaeli looked at her with passion in her eyes. 

"I'm not giving up."

And with everything she had in her, Gaeli pushed back against the force and broke free. Junu was blasted back against the wall and knocked out from the force of the blow. Deciding not to waist any time Gaeli scooped up her blaster and ran for her ship.

She had never acutally planned on using it. It was only a project to keep her busy most days. It would run fine, and function properly, for Gaeli trusted her handiwork, but it seemed foreign to sit in the cockpit with the intent to fly away. 

She took off, not knowing where she was going, only that somewhere in the stars were Rey and Kylo. Two people she could trust.

She followed the pairs force signatures all the way to a massive grey ship, stopping for fuel once or twice. Gaeli marvelled at the different places she stopped at, and how eagar they were to take her credits. Everything was so loud and big, and really polluted. So many sounds and scents greeted her with each stop and she loved it all, but she never stayed long; she had to find Rey.

And so, on the massive grey ship, Gaeli wandered around, searching for the exact spot Rey was located. Few people in shiny white ridiculous armor had tried to stop her, but they were all weak minded and didn't see through her force tricks.

Until she came face to face with the one in chrome. Then her tricks seemed to stop working. She raised her blaster ready for a fight. She could feel the anger and annoyance coming from Reys force signature. She was so close. Another form moved towards her. One she was vaguely farmiliar with, one that called her name before she saw him. 

Kylo.

_______________________________________

Rey looked at her proudly.

"So you just left?" She asked.

Gaeli nodded. "Pretty much."

Rey nodded with approval. "Im impressed."

"Why couldn't Phasma be fooled by the mind tricks?" 

Kylo's voice startled her. She gave a shrug as response. He sat back and became lost in thought again. Rey didn't seem to care.

"At least you made it." She said

"That I did." She looked at Ren. "Hey you have a spare room and fresher I could use?"

Kylo nodded. "Next door, you and Rey can share." 

Rey raised her eyebrows. "Thought I was a prisoner?"

Kylo shrugged. "Who's gonna stop me?"

_______________________________________

Rey knew exactly who would stop him, but she didn't voice her opinion. 

Besides a shower and a bed sounded heavenly at the moment. It was something she picked up from training with Luke, to always be clean and well rested. 

"Does it have any outrageous locks on the door?" She asked skeptically.

Kylo rolled his eyes.

"No. And that door will open for you Rey." He gestured to the bane of her existence.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "No it won't."

"Have you asked it?"

Rey almost threw something at him. The only thing close was a throw pillow and it wouldnt have done the damage she wanted to do.

"Sure let me just ask a door to open for me. Why not? Seems every other rule is thrown out the window so lets throw that one out too."

"You don't have to be sarcastic about it." He replied.

"Yes I do. You locked me in here!" Rey got irritated. 

Kylo chuckled. "You can open that door Rey." As if he knew.

Rey glared at him and huffed sitting back in the couch. Ask the door. Sure thing. What the hell Kylo. 

'Didn't Luke teach you?'

He was in her head. Again.

'No?'

'Next time just ask it open. Its not a stubborn door. I already have all the stubbornness I need.'

He was talking about her.

'I hate you.'

'Wouldnt be you if you didn't.'

"Would you guys stop that!?" Gaeli said interrupting their conversation.

"Stop what?" Rey was confused.

"You guys keep having mental conversations and excluding me out of them, which is rude, by the way."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Gaeli rolled her eyes. "Its great that you two are 'complicated' but you could at least talk out loud."

"Its not my fault he's invasive." Rey mumbled. 

"Oh I'm invasive. You started the whole thing." Kylo countered.

Gaeli held up her hands. "Enough you two. For the love of stars, all you two do is bicker. Maybe you should take your sabers and go a few rounds." 

Rey raised her eyebrows. "Yeah Ben let's go a few rounds. See what you got."

"Not a chance."

"Scared, Solo?"

Gaeli could see the anger in Kylo's eyes.

"Never."

Rey stood and called her saber to her hand from somewhere in the room. She ignited it as Kylo took his off saber from his belt and mimicked her actions. 

Gaeli stood between them. 

"As much as I'd love to see this, and believe me I'll be waiting for it, let not right now. Rey you're dead on your feet, same to you Kylo, and you need to replace the bacta patches."

Rey didn't want to admit it but she was too tired to fight right now. The only sleep she's had is the couple hours that Kylo gave her when he against her will knocked her out. The adrenaline wore off all of a sudden and she swayed slightly. She thumbed off her staff before it could damage something she didn't want to. Lesson 37. Saber safety.

They both noticed and moved to help her. Gaeli got there first.

"You've had her all day. Its my turn."

_______________________________________

 

Gaeli watched as Kylo clipped his saber back to his belt and standing still, making no attempt to stop her.

"Fine." He stalked past the two. "3828."

Gaeli nodded as she understood and lead Rey to their room next door punching in the code.

Rey barely made it to the bed before she collapsed. There were two beds in here.

The poor girl. She was drained, emotionally, physically, and mentally. The force bond she somehow had with Kylo took a lot out of her. 

Gaeli threw a blanket over Rey and headed for the refresher, taking the chance to shower. 

A while later she was in bed and as soon as her head hit the obnoxiously fluffy pillow she was out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's our kids interacting. Poor babies are tired and its time for some sleep. 
> 
> Keep it coming with the support
> 
> I love you all


	26. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of angst.
> 
> Proceed with caution.
> 
> I still love you guys.

"Because you were the first. The first face this face saw. And you were seared onto my heart. Always will be. I'm running to you before you fade from me."

-DW 

 

____________________________________________

Rey dreamed. Steady and lucid. Forms fading in and out. Memories. Faces. Places. People.

She saw Ben a lot. His face. His smile. How he looked when he was confused or thinking, the way his eyebrows furrowed when he did either. The images made her happy. Content. Reminded her of what she had.

She saw Gaeli. Her smile. Her stubborn look and the passion in her eyes when she was excited. They made her smile and reminded her of what she had.

She saw a woman, with piercing blue eyes, a wise face with deep sorrow in them. They were blurry, fuzzy, muddled. They confused Rey. She knew this woman. But she didn't know from where. It was something she didn't have, but yearned for. This woman was someone she was supposed to know.

She saw a creature. A horrible form of darkness and evil. A creature that she had encountered before. It was Kylo's captor. The form never became solid and only brushed her mind, drawing her close and closer. She was curious. She wanted this creature to die, and maybe she could exploit it's weakness here. She drew nearer and nearer. The evil seeped into her mind. The images of Ben, Gaeli, and the woman she was supposed to know we're taken from her. She wanted them back so she pushed harder. 

'Give them back!' She yelled at the evil.

They were hers. Hers.

It couldnt take them.

'Oh but sweet pet. They were never yours, I have given them to you. You should be grateful to have even had then for the while you did.' The voice purred. 'And now they must be taken away.'

'NO!' She screamed. 'THEYRE MINE! NOT YOURS! GIVE THEM BACK!' She ran after the evil. 'Give. Him. Back.' 

Something stopped her. Its pinned her by her shoulders. It shook her. She fought against it.

'NO!' She cried. 'YOURE NOT TAKING HIM AWAY!' Tears streamed down her face. The something went away. She ran after him.

_______________________________________

Gaeli heard Rey mumble in her sleep. She ignored it and went back to sleep until Rey shrieked. Gaeli jumped from bed and found Rey asleep dreaming. She was crying and screaming.

"THEYRE MINE!" She shrieked.

Gaeli shook her shoulders, trying to wake the screaming girl. 

"Rey! Rey! Wake up Rey!" Gaeli called to her.

Rey pushed back against her. Gaeli kept trying.

"Rey!"

"Gaeli move!" It was Kylo. Gaeli didnt budge. "MOVE!" Kylo roared.

Gaeli turned and became face to face with fury, anger, and a monster. She stood firm in front of Rey.

"Youre not touching her." She gritted through her teeth.

Behind them Rey began sobbing and screaming in agony, flailing reaching for something not there.

"She's going to DIE IF YOU DONT LET ME HELP HER! NOW MOVE!" Kylo picked Gaeli up with the force and threw her out of the way of Rey.

He tore back the covers that Rey had managed to tangle around her. Kneeling over her he placed his fingers to his forehead, entering her mind.

He was submerged into her mind. The evil that consumed it. Rey was crying and shreiking running towards her death.

"GIVE HIM BACK!" She cried over and over again. Tears stained her cheeks as violent shakes racked her tiny frame.

Ben had to stop her from running to her death. Who the hell would she run so stupidly after that it would kill her? Luke? Maybe Han? Or that traitor, Finn, he thought she called him.

"REY!" He called loudly.

She almost collapsed at the sound but kept moving forward.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" She shrieked.

The stupid girl thought it was part of the dream. Calling to her wouldnt be enough. He ran after her still calling her name.

"REY! COME ON REY! COME BACK! YOURE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED REY!" He yelled at her. "LET WHOEVER HE IS GO!"

She pressed her hands over her ears. 

"NO!" She yelled. "I WONT LET HIM GO! I WONT LET YOU TAKE MY BEN!" 

He faltered in step. 

That's who she was running to her death for?

Him?

He didn't know how to respond to that, but something clicked together in his mind, like two peices fitting together. It had always been him. From the moment they met.

"For force sake" he mumbled. "REY! IM RIGHT HERE! TURN AROUND YOU STUPID BEAUTIFUL GIRL!"

Rey stopped and turned around. She had cuts along her face, shoulders and arms as if glass had been sliced across it.

"Ben." She sighed from relief. She ran to him but something held her back. Her hands were bonded to the darkness.

She looked back in panic.

"BEN!" She screeched. "PLEASE!" 

He realized what was happening. Snoke was claiming her. It enraged him. He had to get to her.

"IM COMING REY!" 

And he was. He ran. Ran straight into the evil that held his Rey. He ignored the sharp pains that assulted him. He pulled out his saber he materialized from his own mind and cut her bonds.

She collapsed. He stood over her protectively throwing out a force shield around them. He was growling like an animal, stalking the creature he knew all too well.

"So much more power. All because of a stupid, pathetic, nothing girl. I should have known. You are so much like your grandfather. Such a disappointment."

It stalked them and Ben moved over Rey keepinf between her and it.

"Now you both must die."

_______________________________________

 

"....must die." 

Was all Rey heard when she came to. It was going to kill Ben. Her Ben.

No.

She wouldnt let it.

Luke might have said she can't be a Jedi. She might have even told herself. But right now they needed the light. She needed the lightside of the force. She called to it. Welcomed it. She didn't chase what was taken from her. She found what she had. She had her Ben. She had the first time they met when going to see Maz. On the finalizer. On the starkiller. When they met in Kepler. He was so pathetic and weak. He needed her. He had been there for her. Protected her. He was here now. 

He needed her.

She needed him.

There was no going around it.

She knew it was true.

Rey stood to her feet and placed her hand on Ben's back. He turned around and lowered his saber. It faded out of the mindscape. 

She took his hands in hers. They were rough, scarred but still warm and gentle. 

Light coursed through her And darkness through him. He took her light and she took his darkness. They became one. 

There was no light. No dark. Just force.

Snoke was gone from her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they figured it out.
> 
> It only took Rey almost dying.
> 
> But hey, progress.
> 
> Also. Gaeli will be okay. Little salty but she loves her friend and will understand. 
> 
> Theyre so close.


	27. The True Balance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some fluff for you.

"A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet."

-Juliet, Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare

 

______________________________________________

 

Ben didn't know how to save Rey from this monster. He protected her anyways. He felt a small hand on his back. 

Her hand. 

She was up. He wanted to cry of relief. He turned to her. She had that mischievous look in her eye. The one she got when she knew the odds were in her favor. Ben lowered his saber. He trusted her. His saber went away. She held out her hands to him. Light was radiating off her skin, giving her a soft halo of light around her. 

He reached to her hands. They were do small compared to his. They were worn and fragile, but soft and warm, like her.

She gave her light to him, and welcomed his darkness. She took his darkness. Accepted it. In turn he took her light. He let it flow through him and welcomed it lime an old friend, like the old friend that it was.

And he understood.

Light and dark were aspects of the force. One was not more powerful then the other. They needed each other. Balance to the force never meant one side dominating the other, it meant coexisting in harmony. 

There was no light. There was no dark. There was only the force. 

He felt Snoke fade from Reys mind and release his grip on her. He didnt care. He understood. He understood what this girl was to him. Why he needed her. Why she needed him. Why their fates were intertwined. 

As if, the force itself had made her for him, and him for her.

He knew she understood too. 

·····

His eyes slowly flitted open, right to the point blank of a blaster. Not just any blaster, but Gaeli's. 

She was seething, glaring into Ben's eyes.

"You have one chance. ONE chance! Before I blast you to next week!"

Ben held his hands up. 

"Look." He said calmly glancing up to Rey.

She was sound asleep smiling and hugging a pillow. It made Ben smile. Gaeli sat back still glaring. 

"Youre not off the hook." She said holstering her blaster.

He nodded and sighed.

"I know." He looked down and sat up. He had somehow managed to wind up on the floor. "I just had to..." He was at a loss for words.

"Save her." Gaeli finished.

Ben nodded. He rubbed his face and stood. 

"Sorry," He mumbled.

Gaeli nodded. Ben sighed and picked up Reys tossed blankets and covered her again. He sat on the end of the bed and sighed, putting his head in his hands.

"What's wrong?" Gaeli asked, still lingering away from him.

"Shes going to die and I cant stop it." 

_______________________________________

Gaeli looked at the broken man on the end of the bed and tried to register what came from his mouth. 

He said Rey was going to die. He had said that twice so far, but the first time he knew how to stop it, but now, there was no hope in his voice for her rescue. 

"No shes not." Gaeli said defiantly.

Kylo laughed. "You can't stop this."

She huffed and rolled her eyes. 

"You haven't even told me what it is." 

"Snoke. Supreme Leader of the Fisrt Order, and ruler over the darkside. A monster. A creature so evil and so powerful, I don't stand a chance."

She almost laughed. 

"Youre kidding right?"

He looked at her like she was mad. And maybe she was.

"Force you are so thick skulled. Ren, why do you think you have to do this alone?" She knelt in front of him. "You have Rey you stupid oaf. By force she loves you and would give anything for you."

Kylo looked at her in shock. Did she say something she shouldnt have? Nothing she said wasn't obvious or already known. 

"You've got me too, Kylo. I'm not leaving Rey either." 

"Ben." He said after a quiet minute. 

She looked up at him.

"My name is Ben." 

Gaeli shook her head.

"I don't care what your name is. Its who you are that matters to me. And so far," She stood. "Youre a good man Ben."

He laughed humorlessly. 

Behind them Rey shifted and made a groggy call to Ben.

Instantly he was by her side, faster then Gaeli thought was possible.

"Ben?" She croaked.

_______________________________________

Rey watched as Ben faded from her hands as Snoke disappeared. A light came from her right and she turned towards it.

Rey was slowly called to the light. It was Ben's voice. She could hear the smile and laughter in it. 

She ran to him, smiling, basking in the sun. He held out his hand and she took it. 

"Wake up, Rey." He told her softly.

"But I don't want to." She whined.

Ben laughed. It was heavenly to her ears.

"And why not?" He mused.

"Youre here." She said, getting a pout on her face.

Ben stroked her cheek softly. 

"I'll be there when you open your eyes, but you have to wake up."

She nodded. "Fine."

He smiled.  

·····

Reys eyes opened slowly. It was dark. She blinked a few times to let her eyes adjust.

"Ben?" She slurred out. He wasnt there.

"Ben?" She called again louder. Then he was there, by her side.

"Rey," He whispered out sighing of relief. 

She slowly uncurled her hand and reached her shaking fingers to his cheek to chase the tears away that came from his eyes.

"Ben," She answered. 

"Rey," 

_______________________________________

Ben watched as light came back to Reys eyes. He wanted to cry, and by the way Rey stroked his cheek, making her fingers damp, he was. 

He barely noticed when Gaeli slipped out, he opened the door to his room for her before focusing back on Rey.

Her hands travelled down to his shirt and her fingers curled into it weakly pulling him closer. He shifted her over in the small bed and layed behind her. She clutched at his shirt, her small frame curling into him. 

He didnt know what to do. He wrapped his arms around her and tucked her head under her chin. It seemed most comfortable for them both.

"Im scared." She whispered into his shoulder.

He nodded. "I know. I am too. But were not alone. We never will be. Never again."

She nodded and he pulled her blanket back around her. 

"Get some sleep for now. We have a challenging path in front of us."

He heard a soft snore from the small girl. He smiled and closed his eyes and drifted off himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all
> 
> Keep it up with the comments and likes. 
> 
> Thank you and again I love you.


	28. Twice

No, not gonna die tonight   
We've gotta fight for us together  
No, we're not gonna die tonight  
-Not Gonna Die, Skillet

 

________________________________________________

 

Ben groaned and blinked through unconsciousness. All of his muscles were stiff and sore. He rolled over stretching and fell onto the floor. He groaned again and rolled onto his side trying to get up.

_______________________________________

Rey had awoken earlier that morning. Ben's arms held her to him. He was sleeping soundly, his lips slightly parted breathing softly. Sleep seemed to smooth away all of the worry and anger on Ben's face. He looked so peaceful. She wriggled out of his grasp as gently as she could. He grumbled a protest but fell back asleep. 

Good. He needed it. 

Rey stretched and headed for the fresher. She needed a shower. 

The warm water hit her back and the tension in her muscles was relieved. She sighed and got to work with the soap. She still had dirt on her from Kepler. She scrubbed viciously and raked the soap through her hair and down her body. She stood there until the hot water turned cold. When she felt clean - enough - she turned the water off and reached for the towel hanging. Drying, she heard a thud and groan from in the room.

Ben. 

She was worried. 

"Ben!?" She called, wrapping the towel around herself quickly.

She heard a mumbled response and sighed. He was okay. She unwrapped the towel and went to drying her hair. 

The door to the refresher slid open. She froze. 

"Ben!" She shreiked. 

He turned and closed the door again his cheeks flushing red again.

"Sorry!" He called.

She leaned against the door and laughed.

"Ben you have to knock." She scolded through a laugh.

"I know." He groaned. 

_______________________________________

 

Why him?

Of all the people.

Why him?

Ben leaned against the wall next to the fresher trying to blink away the new image of Reys beauty from his mind. Why did she have to do that to him? Any other girl, any other person never turned him on the way Rey did.

"Are you okay?" Rey asked in a small voice filled with concern.

He chuckled.

"Shouldnt I be asking that? This is the second time I've done this. I'm really sorry Rey."

He could feel her eyeroll.

"At least buy me dinner first next time." She snipped. 

"What?" He said.

Next time?

She laughed and stepped out of the fresher fully clothed with the towel around her shoulders.

"I said buy my dinner first." She said smirking. 

He narrowed his eyes at her.

"I'm not going to let that slide."

"I'm counting on it."

There faces were inches apart. Ben could feel her warm breath of his skin.

"Hey love birds!"

It was Gaeli.

Ben could swear she heard a growl of annoyance from Rey.

"We have work to do, you guys can get it later."

Reys cheeks flushed a bright scarlet.

"Gaeli!" She scolded.

"Hey, I'm not the one offering it to him." She pointed out. "But I'll take you out shopping and make him take you somewhere nice, don't worry."

Ben chuckled behind her and whispered softly in her ear.

"I'm counting on it."

_______________________________________

Rey could feel her cheeks burning red. 

Were they really discussing her sex life? She wanted to curl up in a hole and die. She had never even thought about that with him. Or anyone really. Maybe one day...

She stopped herself before her thoughts went to far.

She blinked the thoughts away and regained her composure.

"Okay," She started. 

'Nice cover' He commented in her head.

'Shut it.' She snapped.

"We need to figure out whats going on with Snoke and what were gonna do." She went on.

She felt Ben's shoulder slump a little. She sent calming reassurance through their bond to him.

Gaeli nodded.

"Ben, what do you know?"

He sighed and sat on one of the couches. Rey sat next to him and Gaeli across from her.

He went on telling what he knew of Snoke. Of how he came to him when he was young, and manipulated his thoughts to turn him against his family and friends. He spoke of the power Snoke had and how he could tear any mind apart, and cause pain beyond description. Rey grimaced at that and put her hand on Ben's knee for support. He went on and talked about his mission of finding Rey; how the stone affected his bond with the slave holder and his knowledge of Snoke being here in a few days cycles. 

That sat in silence, absorbing the information. Then Gaeli spoke.

"What happened to the stone?"

Rey frowned. 

"What did happen to it Ben?"

He reached to around his neck and pulled out a leather chord necklace with the stone attatched to it with thin wire.

Rey smiled and Gaeli grinned.

"He's a genius I swear." Gaeli laughed.

'I'm proud of you.' Came Rey through their bond.

He flashed a smile. 

"So what do we do now?" Gaeli asked.

"We prepare as much as we can." He said simply.

"How?" They asked in unison.

He shrugged. They sat in silence.

"What about our bond?" Rey asked after a while.

"Yeah what about your mystical force bond?" Gaeli asked mocking Rey.

Ben threw a quick glare at her.

"It got rid of Snoke last night." Rey said thinking aloud.

"But I dont know if it's enough to kill him."

Rey frowned and moved away from him.

"Are you saying I'm not enough?" She accused.

"No. No. No Rey, I didnt." He sighed and took her hand. She looked down, a small pout on her face. "I didnt mean it like that. I promise."

She nodded.

Gaeli spoke up.

"I agree with Rey. You two need to figure put how to work with another if we want a chance at this." 

They nodded and Ben stood.

"Then let's get started."

He called his saber to his hand from the other room and ignited it smirking at Rey.

She returned his expression and called her staff to her hands thumbing it on. 

"Bring it Solo." She taunted.

"Youre on scavenger." He grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its starting to go down guys.
> 
> I really love you all and all of your support. I never thought so many of you would read this let alone like it. Thank you all.


	29. A Duet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No real perspective here. Its more ambivalent. But theyre my kids. Its my pov. 
> 
> Have fun lovelies.

"When you meet the one  
Who changed the way  
Your heart beats.  
Dance with them to that rhythm  
For as long as the song lasts."  
-Kirk Diedrich

 

______________________________________________

 

Gaeli swore if she wasn't there, these two would destroy most of the ship.

"Guys!"

They looked at her.

"Not in here maybe?" She suggested.

Rey lowered her staff.

"But why not?" 

Ben chuckled. "She's right, I'll be back."

Ben thumbed off his saber and headed back for his room. Rey watched him leave not sure whether to follow or not. So she didn't.

Sitting on the couch she combed her fingers through her still damp hair and pulled it back into one bun. Gaeli joined her on the couches, resting on one opposite to her. She huffed, glaring at the wall behind Rey.

"What?" She asked.

"If you werent so buddy buddy with Ben, he'd be dead." She said coldly.

Rey leaned forwards worried for her friend. "Why?"

Gaelis eyes met hers.

"He force threw me across the room." 

Anger exploded through Reys veins. 

"He. Did. What?" She seethed.

"To be fair he was trying to save you, which is why he's not dead yet, but..."

"Saving me doesn't give him an excuse to be an ass." She huffed. "Are you okay?"

Gaeli chuckled. 

"You worry too much Rey, I'm fine."

She folded her arms. 

"You better be."

Gaeli shook her head smiling. 

"And if I wasn't? What would you do?"

Rey glared at the wall.

"S'what I thought."

The door to their room opened. Ben was back in his black uniform, a cloak swishing behing him, but no mask. He had a bundle of cloth in his arms. 

Rey stood immediately.

"Asshole." She accused.

He chuckled.

"What'd I do now?"

"How about throwing Gaeli across the room?" 

His smile fell and he looked at the floor. Rey glared and crossed her arms. 

"Rey its okay, the poor kid apologized to me. He saved you. That's what mattered. Its fine." 

Rey huffed. 

"Fine." She craked a smile. "But no more force throwing people." 

"Can't make any promises." He said.

Rey rolled her eyes. Gaeli interjected before Rey could make another remark.

"So if we cant train here where are we going?" She asked.

"The training room?" Ben said like it was obvious.

"Guess I'm not going then." Rey replied.

"Why not?" Ben sounded offended.

"Hello? Prisoner?" She gestured to herself.

"I cleared that up Rey, you're fine." He held out the bundle of cloth in his arms. "But this seems to keep following you, so maybe you want it?"

It was his cloak, the one she had woken up under when he betrayed her, and again, it was always draped over her. He was right, it did follow her. She took it and draped it once more around her shoulders, pulling up the hood.

The massive cloak almost swallowed her whole, it was about a foot too long, leaving it bunched on the floor, and the hood almost covered her whole head. It was warm and it smelled like him. She loved it.

"Thank you." She said, pulling back the hood enough that it wouldnt hinder her vision.

He smiled. He like the way it looked on her. She reminded him of his mother when he was young, she was always in official robes, like royalty. 

Rey smiled back at him. His eyes were shining, but distant, as if he was in a memory.

Gaeli groaned.

"Were doomed."

Rey tore her eyes from Ben.

"Why?" She asked alarmed.

"Because we cant go five minutes without you two oogling at each other. We're never going to get anything done."

They mumbled apologies. 

"Yeah yeah," Gaeli said. "Come on, let's go." She looked at Ben. "Where are we going?" 

"Training room." He said.

"Thank you captain obvious. Where is it?" Gaeli replied sarcastically. 

He nodded and held out his hand gesturing to the door. Gaeli walked out into the hall and Rey followed suit grabbing her staff, and Ben left the room last, closing the door.

He moved to the front and led them down levels and across hallways that confused Rey again, but even more so, until he stopped and opened another random to Rey door. It slid open, and everyone in the room saw Ben and fled.

Gaeli chuckled. 

"Guess you've got a reputation in here then?"

He gave a small smile and sighed. Rey placed a hand on his shoulder for support and threw a look at Gaeli, who held up her palms in apology.

The training room was huge. Rey had never seen a room so big. It was a few normal floors tall with an observation deck. The floor was covered in thin mats and the walls lined with every weapon imaginable, all training weapons, none of them with the ability to kill. There was a door on the back wall, Rey didnt know what it was to.

Ben seemed to pick up on her question through their bond.

"Training droids. They wont help us much but theyre a good work out."

Work out? 

A few images flashed through Reys mind about what Ben's workouts would entail. How he'd look dripping in sweat tearing through droids like they're butter. How his muscles would coil and flex...

'Having fun there?' 

Rey blushed a deep scarlet. Ben had been in her mind. 

'I...' She started.

He grinned at her.

Gaeli noticed Reys redding cheeks and Ben's grin.

"For the love of the stars, I'm going to have to seperate you two?" 

Reys blushed deepened and a flush entered Bens cheeks. Gaeli groaned.

"Training. Now." She ordered. 

With the room empty Rey took off her (his) cloak and ignited her saber and ran through warm up routines, clearing her mind. It had been a while since she properly trained like this.

Ben took off his outer robes stood beside her with his saber and followed suit. They both knew the same routines and followed them flawlessly and in sync. Ever move Rey made with her staff Ben mirrored with his blade. 

Gaeli watched, amazed. It was like they were dancing together, so in tune with another they knew which steps to take and when to move. She thought it was the most beautiful thing she ever saw, them doing their routines side by side.

But boy was she wrong.

Rey made a move that faltered from their dance and she turned to Ben, that spark of passion igniting in her eyes, He turned towards her and his expression matched hers. They began sparing. Their blades crashing and deflecting the others blow, neither advancing on the other. They moved across the room fighting and laughing, sometimes Rey chasing Ben, or Ben chasing Rey. Soon their blades came together once more and their duet continued, a dance of red and gold that was memorizing. 

Soon Ben began pressing Rey harder and their dance became more tense. He was testing her. Pushing her to her limits. Rey pushed back. Her muscles stared to strain and Ben was getting an advantage. She pushed Ben back with a grunt and he let up for a minute. 

He shouldn't have.

She got that gleam in her eyes when she knew she had the advantage. And she did. 

Rey held down the button on her saber and a mechanism unlocked. She grinned at Ben and her staff became two saber blades. She twirled them and advanced on Ben, starting their dance again, but now she was pressing Ben with the advantage. She moved beautifully with them, knowing how to use them just as well as her staff. She was grinning like a wild woman.

Ben didnt know what to think. Other than that he was truely in love with this girl. She was so complicated and wonderful. She was passionate and playful. Everything that he wasn't he was. 

Their bond between them strengthened and they danced equally once more. Every emotion flowed through it, each matching the other, strenthening them, pushing them further, harder. They were linked as one despite fighting against each other. 

Gaeli watched in amazement. It was dazzling. Beautiful. Whole. They were truely made for another. They fit together like puzzle peices. 

Gaeli was much more interested in their force signatures. They both flares and coiled inside them, but did something she had never seen before. They reached out from the inside and connected with the others. Like vines stretching to the sun, intertwining and becoming one. 

Perfectly Rey and perfectly Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't they beautiful?
> 
> And also now Rey gets caught in an awkward situation by Ben.
> 
> It may seem like theyve got this but not do I have plans. Strap in and enjoy the ride.
> 
> I love you all and your response to it makes me feel incredibly special and lucky.


	30. The Hardest Sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ambivalent pov again, except for a little Phasma.
> 
> I love stalking my kids.

"Here's to the strong  
Thanks to the brave  
Don't give up hope  
Some people change  
Against all odds  
Against the grain  
Love finds a way  
Some people change"  
-Kenney Chesney, Some People Change

 

_____________________________________________

 

Phasma watched from the observation deck of the training room. She gazed on the two sparing. She smiled. What she saw warmed her heart. It had been so long since she had seen a force bond as strong as theirs; it had been so long since she felt her own. 

The day Jezikah died, was the day she had died too. Breaking a force bond was like feeling death itself. It had almost killed Phasma. She would have gladly let death taken her if it wasnt for the babe in her life. The babe she lost anyways; the one taken from her. 

Jezikah had come to Ogegia looking for new planets, new life. He was young, rebellious, and ruggedly handsome. 

Phasma had been young and naive; in love with the idea of love. She loved Jezikah and he had loved her. She betrayed her kingdom for him. Given everything, but in the end it wasn't enough.

Phasma found herself on the ground cradling her love's body as his light faded from him. Little by little their bond broke, tearing Phasma apart; tearing Jezikah from her grasp. She wept and sobbed and screamed. 

They had done this to him. They had killed him. 

If it wasnt for the babe crying in their crib, Phamsa would have destroyed it all. Everything.

The kingdom.

The palace.

The queen.

Herself.

But no, her darling child needed her. She was foolish to leave them. To turn her back on them, but she did. 

She fled.

She looked back only to see the queen with her darling flower in her arms. 

She regretted looking back.

······

Now, Phasma only looked at what was before her. 

And what was before her were two strong force users, one with infamous parents, and one with mysterious parents.

And despite everything, here they were, together, smiling, laughing, and sparing with each other.

Rey had been so forgiving with Kylo. It confused her. She didnt know Rey very well, other than rumors. She was stubborn, passionate, loyal, and most of all one of the strongest force users in the galaxy.

Could her parents really be nobodies?

Then something clicked on Phasma's mind.

She overlooked her flower, who was right under her nose the whole time. Her little desert flower.

_______________________________________

 

Rey felt something unusual in the force, and seeing how Ben paused from their brilliant dance, she knew he felt it too.

"What was that?" She asked him.

"I dont know," he replied, scanning the room for any immediate danger.

The disturbance didnt feel wrong or evil, just different, like a connection was formed between two things, but why did Rey feel it?

Ben thumbed off his saber and went over to Rey. She reconnected her staff pulling back the plasma blades with a push on a button. He had worry in his eyes, but she was just curious.

"What's going on!?" Gaeli called from the other side of the room where she had taken up target practice with her blaster.

"We don't know!" Rey shouted back. Her voice barely carried through the large room.

Gaeli ran over to the couple and studied them both, tapping into their signatures. They both read confused, and Reys signature was slightly different than before. Ben seemed to notice.

"Somethings not right." He huffed, getting agitated. "Rey how do you feel?"

"I feel fine, really, I'm okay." She frowned. "I just dont know what's going on." 

Ben did not like the change in Reys signature one bit. It was like someone had tampered with her soul. It was something no one should have the power to do. And anyone who did it to her would have to answer to him. 

Rey could feel Ben's anger flaring through their flowing bond. She looked up at Ben and rubbed his arm gently.

"I'm alright." She said reassuringly. 

He nodded mutely.

Gaeli spoke up. "She really is Ben. Nothing was taken or distorted from Reys signature, just another small bond was formed."

He huffed.

'But you're mine.'

She heard it in her mind as clear as day. It made her pulse quicken, and if she hadnt been drenched in sweat and already breathing hard from the work out she's sure Gaeli would have noticed.

'Yes.' Was all she could say.

What else was there to say? In the mindscape, they fit together. They belonged together. She was his and he was hers, yet they each had the freedom the needed and wanted. Yes, they were bound by the force, but it didnt mean that that was all they were. 

She was his. Because she wanted to be, not because she had to be. 

Ben picked up on her train of thought. It seemed to apease his worry and anger.

'Thank you.' He said gently.

'For?'

'Being mine. Leaving here, leaving me, never crossed your mind once.'

She frowned. He was right. She knew she could get out if she really put the effort in, but she never thought of the possibility. How could she? She saw the change in him. From Kylo Ren, to Kylo, to Ben. She watched it. How could she even think to leave him? Who would do that?

 

Gaeli knew they were having a mental conversation without her. Again.

But concidering it made Ben relax from a hulking intimidating beast to the man she knew, she let it slide. He was worried about Rey. And to be honest, she was too. Something has changed in Rey, and it wasn't normal.

They would figure it out. Even if Rey didn't care, she and Ben would find out what had happened. Rey had a habbit of not caring for herself properly, which wasnt okay, but at least she had people who cared about her now.

She thought about how Ben cared about Rey. 

Sure, she knew that Rey loved Ben, even if she wouldnt admit it. Gaeli saw the change in Rey, from the moment they met in the street all that time ago, to when she had seen Kylo chained and helpless, and further on when she had resuced him, all leading to now, where Gaeli knew that Rey loved him. She knew Rey knew it too, but the girl was too stubborn to admit it to herself.

But them there was Ben. She wasn't sure really of his emotions. She remembered him freeze in shock when she professed Reys love for him earlier. Why did he freeze? He must have not known. But then again he was unstable yet, Ben still managed to be fiercely protective of her. There was no doubt he cared for her, but love? 

Gaeli mentally shrugged. It was something for them to figure out, and her to gloat about how she called it when they did.

Amongst the three of them they all heard Reys stomach growl. There was that not taking care of herself thing again.

Ben groaned. "Food. Now. Come on Rey, you gotta eat." 

Rey looked attacked and glanced over at Gaeli for help.

"For once I agree with him. You gotta eat Rey." 

She groaned and stalked off towards the door. The sweat from her skin had dried but she was still incredibly hot. She needed a shower then she'd eat if they so insisted. 

Ben jogged up behind her and Gaeli followed suit. Rey stalked out of the training room, her cloak in one hand and her staff in the other.

"And where do you think you're going?" Ben asked.

"To shower. Then I'll eat." She said stubbornly.

"I understand that, but the rooms arent that way." Ben said trying to keep the humor from his voice.

Rey turned and glared at him. He rolled his eyes.

"You're so dramatic. Its okay to ask for help."

She didnt say a word, and he didnt expect her to, so he made a path to their rooms and she and Gaeli followed side by side. They murmered softly about the change in Reys signature, but he paid no mind to it, there was no need to get worked up over it again.

A few cold showers, and a few sets of new clothes later the trio walked down to the cafeteria. Rey still wore her cloak, but with the hood down. It puzzled Ben on why she was wearing it, it was only meant to cover her identity when she felt unsafe, but now she just wore it as if it was natural.

Then two things hit Ben in the face.

The girl was from Jakku, a living hell, and she was used to the heat and scorching sun. The poor girl was probably freezing aboard the Finalizer, especially when it was made of mostly metal and always kept cool, to make sure the machinery didnt over heat.

And the second thing. It fed off of Reys signature subtly. She loved the cloak. It was his, and it made her feel safe and comforted. Like a security blanket. This made Ben pause. 

She had said she was afraid the night before. 

Kriffing hell he was stupid. 

Rey was terrified and found comfort in his cloak. It was a reminder that he was there for her. That he had changed. 

She wasnt afraid of Snoke. She was to stubborn and brash.

No, she was afraid that he would turn on her.

Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLOT TWIST
> 
> I loved Phasma and was disappointed by what they made her into in the new movie. This was planned long before that, but I made get extra special here.
> 
> She really is dear to my heart.
> 
> And protective Ben is hot.
> 
> And poor Rey, She didnt even get to enjoy how he looked when working out. Oh well. Maybe next time.
> 
> Also reminder to all of you.
> 
> Please remember to eat  
> And drink water
> 
> I know it's hard to  
> I know it's easy to forget to
> 
> But take care of yourselves
> 
> Don't make me hunt you down and take care of you.
> 
> But in all seriousness, I'm grateful to my own Ben and Gaeli for taking care of me when I forget to. I love you guys.


	31. Communion

"The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting  
It couldn't be that we have been this way before  
But hold your breath  
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you  
Over again  
Don't make me change my mind  
Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear its true  
Because a girl like you is impossible to find"  
-Fall for You, Secondhand Serenade

 

_____________________________________________

 

Ben called himself twenty types of stupid.

Of course she would be afraid of him betraying her again. 

He thought back to Padme and his dream. She was right. He did feel what Rey did when he uttered those cursed words. The brokeness that radiated from her. 

Force, he was so stupid.

He stopped mid step and Rey smacked right into the back of him, not seeing him stop.

"Ben?" She asked worried.

He turned. Behind Rey, Gaeli looked curiously at him. He didnt care. He focused on the small frame of the scared girl in front of him.

She was so strong. She was brilliant at hiding her fears, and her weaknesses. 

He wrapped her in a hug and pulled her close to him. His gigantic frame consumed her. She squirmed in his arms but he didnt care. 

He screwed up so bad. She was afriad of him. Afraid of being left by him. How did he become that imporant to her? She was so foolish, he was sure, but it was her. She cared too much, and she was afraid of being left.

And then how she reacted when her signature changed, how she tried to calm him down, and showed no sign of fear. But he knew she was afraid. 

She hid it from herself. 

Her fears. 

As if she didnt want to face them.

As if she had faced to many and no longer could. 

_______________________________________

 

Rey didnt know where the hug came from but it worried her more then comforted her at first. The only time she and Ben had ever embraced like this was when she was attacked in the mindscape.

And now, here he was, hugging her, with no explanation. She frowned, but let him. Slowly she curled her arms around his massive frame and inhaled his scent deeply from the crook of his arms, where he held her to him.

She reached out through their bond, but hesitated, and stopped.

Ben would tell her if he needed to.

She wouldn't press him.

_______________________________________

 

Gaeli didnt know what was going on, but she left them to it. It had been tense between them since the shift in Reys sig and she was glad to see the resolve. 

She moved around the two and entered the cafe. 

_______________________________________

They stood there, in their embrace, and Rey relaxed into Bens arms. He could feel it. The worry draining from her. The tenderness her embrace donned, he didnt need their bond to know that she was calmed. 

He pulled away slightly, and cupped her face delicately. Her eyes searched his for something. He smiled softly.

"I'm so sorry, Rey." He whispered.

She opened her mouth to say something but he brushed his thumb over her soft lips to silence her.

"Rey, I... You..." 

He shook his head.

He couldnt find an explanation for what he did. What words would make this right? Were there even words? 

She pressed a soft kiss to his thumb that silenced her. 

She understood. She knew the words he couldn't say. How he wanted to make up for everything he had done to hurt her. But were there ever enough words?

He pressed his lips softly to her forehead as a thanks. A simple gesture that made Reys breathing quicken. He tucked Reys head under his chin and held her close. She curled her frame to his. 

They stayed like that. Peaceful, and calm.

Until Reys stomach growled again. 

Ben chuckled at the girl in his arms.

The tiny, weak, fragile girl in his arms. 

"Let's get you fed." He said softly. She nodded into his shoulder and moved away from his embrace regretfully. 

_______________________________________

Ben was so warm. 

Everything about him was warm and inviting. 

He had apologized, for a fear he realized she had before she did. Well, he had tried. Some words weren't meant to be spoken. She was beginning to learn that.

Then he pressed his lips against her forehead. A show of thanks, a sign of affection she had never had before. It made her skin burn as he seared his mark on her forehead. 

It made her heart soar. 

He was staying. 

There was no doubt.

He tucked her head under his chin like he did the night before. She pressed against him. 

He was so warm and strong, he made her feel safe. 

She didnt want it to end.

But her stomach had other ideas.

A laugh rumbled through Ben. She pouted into his shoulder and tore away from his embrace. 

_______________________________________

 

Gaeli watched them enter the cafe. Rey was tucked under Ben's arm, keeping to his side. 

Every pair of eyes were glued to them as the walked through the line and got their food. No doubt rumors would fly. 

It didnt seem to phase Ben, but Rey kept her head down and stuck close to him. They made their way with their food over to where Gaeli was sitting; Rey choosing the seat next to her and Ben, next to Rey.

Hushed whispers filled the room. Rey looked extremely tense; Gaeli moved her seat closer to hers and Ben layed a hand on her knee. She seemed to relax slightly.

She ate slowly, picking at the food. She had mainly only fruits on her plate, and little to no protein. Gaeli and Ben shared a look and took her plate away.

She looked up confused.

"What?" She whined softly. "Its food."

Ben sighed softly, but Gaeli spoke first.

"You need more then fruit, Rey."

She grumbled. Gaeli gave Rey her plate, which was well balanced, something she learned to do as a warrior, and took Reys, eating the fruit. Gaeli had protein packs in her bag that'd be good enough for her later.

Ben gave her a small nod of thanks. The poor kid was so stressed. He never had to worry about anyone but himself before and he seemed lost. Gaeli was more then willing to help. 

They started small talk, which shifted into truth or dare, which was mostly just truth, because no one felt like doing anything.

They avoided certain topics, Kylo's training, Snoke, pretty much anything that would make the mood more tense. They didnt need tense, they needed comfort, and between the good food and hilarious stories from her companions, comfort greeted them.

They all finished their food, but no one budged to move anywhere. It was nice being out of their rooms, and away from the training room. The cafe slowly emptied, leaving them alone, laughing and talking like old friends.

One of the cafeteria workers had brought them desserts and alcoholic drinks, which Rey glared the drink, but Gaeli took a slow sip of the colorful liquid. It wasnt too concentrated, more of a fruit juice than a strong wine. It wasn't too bad, compared to the wine she had with her meals with her warriors, before she went AWOL. It was pleasant for the mood she was in, and the day they had had.

She offered it to Rey, but she refused it, without explanation, instead she munched on the small cakes and pastries filled with fruit. Ben tried the drink and grimaced. 

"That's awful. Way too sweet." He complained. "How can you like that?"

That made Rey giggle, and Gaeli grin. Ben called the worker back and asked for some chav tea for him and Rey, he offered it for Gaeli to, but she refused, her fruity drink was just fine. 

_______________________________________

In all honesty, Ben didnt mind the cocktail. He had had much stonger liquors before than the pathetic little cocktail, but seeing how Rey intently refused, he decided she might not like him even slightly buzzed, despite how many it would take him to become so. He knew that she would trust him less if he was. So he refused and asked for chav instead. 

Rey tilted her head at him. 

"Whats chav?" She asked.

He raised his eyebrows for a brief moment, surprised she had never had the drink before, but remembering how she grew up, he decided to drop it.

"You'll see." He mused.

This solicited a small pout from Rey, to which Gaeli laughed at. Rey looked to her for answers.

"You'll like it, trust him." She said finishing her first cocktail and starting on Reys rejected one.

Rey nodded as the worker, whose name Rey asked for - it was Kino - came and gave them two steaming mugs of a thick liquid that gave off a heavenly scent.

Rey pulled one towards her and craddled it in her hands and inhaled the scent. 

Ben watched in awe, as Rey closed her eyes and drank in the scent of the tea. She slowly raised the mug to her lips and took a small sip of the drink.

_______________________________________

The drink was warm in Reys mouth and went smoothly down her throat, warming her. It was too bitter for her taste, but it was still comforting. 

Ben watched her intently, waiting for her response. She smiled at him.

"Well?" he asked.

"Bitter." She said. "But good."

He rolled his eyes. 

"I'm starting to think you have a thing for sweets."

"So why does she like you?" Gaeli muttered.

Rey tried to stiffle her giggle but failed. Ben threw a playful glare at them and took the mug away from Rey before she spilled it with her laughing. 

"Force forbid you two are ever left to your own devices." He muttered, getting up holding Reys mug.

"I could say the same thing about you two buddy." Gaeli said with a wink. Rey picked up on her joke and blushed, where as Ben stalked off, with the dignity of a wet cat, and left the girls laughing.

_______________________________________

 

Ben almost scoffed at Reys comment of it being too bitter, but it was her job to annoy him, he supposed. 

He went up to the food line and filled Reys cup with some cinnamon and more sugar than he should have, but, she would enjoy it. He brought it back and placed it back in front of her and sat down again, nursing his own mug, of the warm bitter tea. 

She seemed to like it much better when he gave it back to her, draining the cup quickly. He smiled as she did. She may have been strong and fierce, but on the inside she was still childlike. 

He loved her.

Reys eyes flashed to his. There was a tense moment before she responded. 'I love you too Ben.' 

Their eyes locked, each questioning the other. Did she mean it? Has he meant to think it?

They barely knew what love was, but here's to a shotgun shot in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look Gaeli was right. They do figure it out.
> 
> Aren't my kids precious?
> 
> Thank you so much for all of your support, have a happy Christmas, or whatever you celebrate, if I don't get another chapter up by then. 
> 
> I love all of you. Thank you for your support and likes, don't stop.


	32. Learning Love and Lurking Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Rey has a panic attack from past abuse. Read with caution.

"Love, love is not an emotion. Love is a promise."  
-The Twelfth Doctor, Doctor Who

 

________________________________________________

 

The cafeteria closed up the night and the trio found themselves back in Ben's room, on the blue couches. The faux window showed them the starry night sky, a reality, not another illusion. 

Rey had decided to sit in a small arm chair. Ben had started a small protest but after a glare from her best friend he quieted and sat on another couch. She was under her cloak and the blanket that had been resting on the chair; nights were always cold aboard the Finalizer and she loathed it. 

She missed the warmth of the sun during the day on Jakku. How, over the years it had bronzed her skin, and surfaced tiny freckles across her shoulders and face. 

Ben's room had more warmth to it then the rest of the ship. She didnt know why, but it did, and she welcomed it gratefully every time she walked in.

She gazed at the stars through the window, as Gaeli and Ben talked about something she didn't bother listening to, her eyes glazed over and she lost herself in thought.

She had said she loved him. 

But what did it mean? She didnt know completely, but was it ever supposed to be completely known? Love was something elusive to her, to, everyone, she thought. 

She looked at Ben. He looked like he was explaining something, gesturing with his hands, his face calm. 

She surely loved him. Right? She cant think of a day she'd want without him, and couldn't imagine where she'd be without him.

On Jakku still, no doubt. Waiting for someone who would never come. Yet, now here she was, on a First Order ship, with no contact to Finn, Organa, Luke, or the resistance, and she was 100% content. She had two people beside her and she never felt more at home. They were her family. 

He was a part of her family. 

And she loved him. 

But he was something so much more then that too. 

He was her balance. He was her other half. She felt like they were made for each other, and prayed that they were. He had been there to save her again and again, and she had saved him, again and again. 

It was a mutual agreement. No, more than that. It had become a promise. They looked after each other, and accepted who they were for what they were. To keep each other out of harms way. To try to figure out what everything meant for them. He wasn't leaving her and She wasn't giving up on him.

She did love him, she concluded. Whatever love was supposed to mean. By what it meant to her, she did love him. 

_______________________________________

Ben let Rey think about what had happened. It was a lot to process and he didnt want to scare her with it. Love was a big thing. 

It could have been a spur of the moment thing, or just a knee jerk response. 

He wouldnt push it.

He wouldn't push her. 

He talked with Gaeli, giving Rey the room to think, but kept gentle tabs on her mental state through their bond. 

It seemed to have grown stronger since they had said the words. He welcomed it. He loved her, and he knew it. He stopped denying himself of it.

He remember how his father looked at his mother, those coy glances the stole, admiring her. How, despite their arguing, they never let it draw a wedge between them. He knew the stories, he knew the sacrifices they made for another.

He could see himself with Rey, making sacrifices for her, being with her.

She accepted him for who he was. How could he not love her?

In his mind Reys thoughts seemed to work through the same conclusions, but not quite the way he did. 

It comforted him to know that she returned his affections, and that never once had she cared about his power, status, or stature.

_______________________________________

Gaeli knew something was going on. Again. Something had changed between the two. She barely took note of that Ben was explaining to her, keeping polite conversation, as he gave Rey the opportunity to keep to herself. 

She could take a hint, but she wouldnt be subtle about it.

So she stood.

"You guys work this out." She said gesturing to them, then turned to Rey. "You still have a bed next door if you need it." She turned to Ben and stalked over to him. "And if you even so much as think of harming her I will hunt you down like the animal you are and kill you slowly and painfully enjoying every minute."

Reys eyes widened in shock, Ben simply nodded a small, humorless laugh escaping his lips. Gaeli seemed content with this and left the room leaving them alone.

Rey looked at the floor.

"Did you mean it?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"Mean what?" 

He rolled his eyes. "Do you love me?" He asked, his voice uncertain.

Rey opened her mouth and closed it. She got the little crease between her eyebrows she had when she was thinking that Ben had come to adore.

She was thinking. Thinking was good.

"I don't know what love is, Ben." She started. "Ive heard what its supposed to be, and dreamed of what its like, but I couldn't tell you the first thing about it."

It was Ben's turn to look at the floor. He felt cornered, almost, but she continued.

"I know you mean something to me. More than any other person I have in my life. We work together, fit together, and belong together. We both came from dark places, and we decided to help each other out. We rejected what we were told to do and found our own way. And I know youre not leaving me, and hell if you think I'll ever give up on you."

She paused.

"And if that's what love means, then yes. Ben I love you, because, I don't know what I'd be without you."

He looked up at her. Her eyes were trained on his window, as if it aided her thoughts. 

They sat in silence. Thinking. 

"Did you?" Rey asked, the question burning through her mind.

He nodded. "I meant it. There's no one I can think of who means to me what you do."

There was a silence.

"So what now?"

He chuckled and thought back to when the same question had been asked when they had started with whatever they were calling this. 

But love had something to do with it.

Rey looked at Ben, tearing her eyes away from the window. He had a soft smile on his face. She looked confused, her lips slightly parted, looking him with her big doe eyes.

"What?" He asked.

"You laugh a lot, like things I do amuse you." She said questioning.

"Maybe because they do." He mused.

She rolled her eyes.

"You're insufferable." She muttered.

He chuckled. "Yeah yeah." 

The silence came back. Reys eyes seemed to drift shut.

"Why don't you drink?" He asked looking out the window with her. He had meant to ask earlier but didnt get the chance.

Her eyes remained closed. "I dont like alcohol."

He was confused, with her life, he would have thought she drank more often.

"It tastes alright, and that drink wasn't too bad, especially for your sweet tooth."

She opened and rolled her eyes at him. 

"Can't you just drop it? I dont like alcohol. That's it." She snapped.

He held up his palms in surrender.

"Touchy." He muttered.

She growled.

"Maybe I dont like what it does to people. What it turns people into." She hugged her knees. "What it makes okay because using the excuse that theyre drunk is acceptable."

He looked at her dumbfounded. 

"It's anger and laughter at misfortunes. It brute strength and screaming. It takes people out of their own minds and its nothing I want to become."

She rested her head on her knees, curling up, lost in thought.

He felt like an idiot. An utter idiot. Maybe she was right maybe he was an ass. 

"Rey," He started. She shook her head and got up.

"Im going to bed. I'll see you tomorrow."

And with that she left him in his room, alone, with a window out into the vast darkness with inklings of stars. 

He was in shock.

What had he done? She had just told him she loved him and he pressed too hard. He shouldnt have. 

He got up. He wasnt going to let her stay upset.

He knocked on the door to her room.

"Id keep walking Ren!" Gaeli called.

He huffed.

"Let me talk to her!" 

The door opened. A furious togruta filled his sight. Her green eyes piercing to what he felt like was his soul. 

"What the hell did you say to her?" She growled. 

"Nothing! I asked a question, and she got all defensive. Please Gaeli, let me talk to her. Let me make it right."

Gaeli sized him up which felt weird, no one ever had before, then let him in. 

Rey was on her bed hugging her knees looking at nothing. 

"She's been like this since she came in. Didnt say a word, other then senseless mumbling. Just, sat there." 

He nodded and sighed. "Okay." 

He walked up beside her bed and knelt down beside her.

"Rey?" He tried softly.

"Leave me alone." She whispered. 

"Rey, I'm sorry."

"Leave me alone Barian." She whispered harshly, curling her fingers in her hair using her forearms to cover her face. He frowned and looked to Gaeli. 

She shrugged. "She's been mumbling it since she came in."

He brushed her mind. Her walls were up solid and tight. Ben didn't think she knew what she was doing. 

Ben got up and sat in front of Rey. He tried to take her hands away from her face. She jerked away and started shaking.

"Rey? Rey!? Can you hear me!?"

He turned to Gaeli. "Go in my room and get her cloak. Get a damp cloth too."

Gaeli stood there in shock.

"Go!" He roared. 

Gaeli unglued her feet from the floor and did what she was told. 

Ben focused all his attention to Rey.

"Rey," He said softly.

She shook her head and started crying.

"Leave me alone!" She shrieked. 

"Rey it's me, its Ben." He tried.

She wasnt listening. 

_______________________________________

Rey didnt know what happened. They were just talking, but then he had to bring up the stupid drinking thing. It had been so long since she had buried those memories in her mind but they surfaced with every word, with every second. 

She had to get away from him. So she got up before it got worse. He had taken advantage of her too many times and she had to get out. 

But he wouldn't get out of her head. He followed her whispering her name with voice like silk, to her that sounded like nails on a chalkboard. 

He came closer.

"Arent you just so pretty tonight desert rat?" He whispered in her ear. 

"Leave me alone." She said as boldly as she could.

He ran his hands down her arms, pressing up against her.

"Leave me alone Barian." She pleaded.

She could smell the toxins on his breath. He was close. Too close. 

"Awe, but doesnt my desert rat want to play?" He asked taunting her.

"No." She whispered.

He tilted his head. "I dont think I heard you desert rat. Must not have any objections then." 

She whimpered and closed her eyes waiting for it to be over. 

But strong arms pulled her away from the preditors grasp.

She kicked and screamed trying to get free.

"Rey! Rey! Its me. Stop fighting its just me!"

It was a voice. A familiar voice. It was warm, and gentle. 

The arms pulled her close and tucked her head under his chin. She grasped at his shirt, and stopped fighting. She knew these arms.

"That's it, its okay Rey. I'm here. Ben's right here. I'm here Rey." He murmmered softly. Something warm heavy and familiar was draped around her shoulders.

She took deep breaths, shaking and clinging to him. He rubbed her back softly. 

"Ben?" She croaked.

He nodded. "I'm here, Rey. I'm right here."

She wheezed softly pressing to him. 

"Dont let him take me. Please Ben don't let him take me." She pleaded.

Andger flared through Ben. Whoever this Barian was, he was dead. He made a mental note to search the First Order data base to find the slimey bastard. He tucked it away deeply in his mind. 

"He wont touch you again." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I wont let him."

She nodded and her eyes fluttered open. She was in Ben's arms being held like a small child. Gaeli was standing near the edge of the bed, a worried look on her face and shown in her stature. Rey started to move away but Ben's grip didnt budge. 

"Stay." He whispered. He pressed his lips to her forehead. "You scared me to death Rey." He whispered. 

"Sorry." She mumbled.

She felt a chuckle rumble through him. 

"Don't apologize. It wasnt your fault Rey. Nothing of it was your fault."

He said it so deliberately that she didnt think he was just talking about the panic attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas.
> 
> I get presents tonight instead of tomorrow. Family traditions.
> 
> I hope all of you have amazing holidays and spend time with those you love.


	33. What's in A Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was impossible. 
> 
> But I finally got something sorta good enough to my standards. 
> 
> Enjoy.

"Its the sad smile. Its a smile, but you're sad. It's confusing. Its like two emotions at once. Its like youre malfunctioning."

-The Twelfth Doctor, Doctor Who

 

______________________________________________

 

"Not my fault." She echoed and rubbed her face. "Yeah. Not my fault." 

Ben's grip tightened on her. 

"No, it wasn't." He whispered softly. 

She sighed and rubbed her face, trying to force the panic away. Her skin was slick with cold sweat and she felt really hot all of a sudden. Ben seemed to sense that and he pressed a cool damp cloth on her forehead. 

The images of... him... slowly faded from Reys mind as the gentleness of Ben's precense entered her mind. 

He said nothing. He just held her. 

_______________________________________

Gaeli watched the whole thing go down. Standing there, waiting. 

She could only imagine what Rey had gone through and the terrors of men like that. 

She had done what Ben had asked as soon she regained her ability to move.

Reys cloak was still on the chair and she ran into the refresher and grabbed the first thing she saw. It looked like a shirt but she didnt care. Gaeli shoved it under the stream of water that came from the faucet and ran with the items back into her room. 

Ben had Rey in her arms, Rey who was struggling and kicking, shrieking, trying to get away from someone who wasnt there.

Ben whispered words to Rey that she could barely hear, but it calmed Rey slowly. Gaeli let out a breath she didnt know she was holding. 

Soon Rey was curled up in Ben's arms shaking and crying, he seemed unphased and gestured her over to him. She stood by the bed where Ben was cradling Rey and she wrapped the cloak around her like a blanket. To be honest it really was for Rey. 

He kept whispering to her, and she responded in a barely audible voice. 

Ben held out his hand and looked at Gaeli. She blinked out of shock and handed him the damp cloth. He pressed it to Reys forehead as she shrugged off the cloak.

He smiled at her. It was a sad smile. He pulled the cloak back around her shoulders. She shrugged it off again.  He glared and she glared back. 

It was nice to know she wasnt totally gone. Slowly Rey composed herself and pulled herself back together.

_______________________________________

 

"Okay?" Ben asked.

She nodded.

"Okay."

He released her and she swayed softly. 

"Go shower, and get to bed. You need sleep Rey." 

He went to get up but she grabbed his hand. 

"Dont leave me, Ben." She pleaded. 

He and Gaeli shared a look, Gaeli nodded. 

"Where do you want to stay tonight?" Gaeli asked. 

"With him." She said softly. 

Gaeli rolled her eyes. 

"Take her to your room. Its warmer anyways." 

He nodded and held his hand out to Rey.

"Come on." 

Rey stood carefully testing her feet. They held her well enough. She slowly followed Ben, shuffling her feet. She took a few steps and missed one, and if Gaeli and Ben hadnt been there she would have face planted. She was passed out. To be fair it had been a long day for her, from the nightmare, to the training, to the panic attack. He smiled sadly down at her.

_______________________________________

Ben sighed and scooped Rey up into his arms, her weight all more than familiar to him. 

Here was this girl, who could barely keep herself together in his arms, a Togruta who was fiercely protective of her, and him, who seemed to be a mix of both. 

And they wanted to face Snoke?

They were doomed. 

At least he had his last few days with Rey, and as insufferable as she was sometimes, Gaeli. 

Once in his room he deposited Rey onto his bed carefully. Her eyelids fluttered opened.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Nothing darling, go back to sleep." He said gathering things for his shower.

She grumbled and sat up. 

"Don't darling me." She pouted. 

He held up his palms in mock surrender. He started towards the refresher.

"Where are you going?" She asked with slight alarm in her voice.

He turned. "To shower?" He said as if it was obvious.

"Can... Can I come?" She asked smalley figdeting with her hands.

"To shower?" He asked again.

"I... I don't want to be alone, right now." She said hesitantly. "I won't look," she rushed. "I just want dont want to be alone." She looked up at him. "Please?"

Ben looked at the pleading girl. She wanted to join him in the shower, but for the obvious reason, but because she was scared to be alone. 

Whoever this Barian was, he was going to be killed slowly and Ben was going to enjoy every minute. 

He nodded his head towards the fresher.

"Come on, you should shower too." He said, trying to keep the uncertainty out of his voice. 

She stood and followed him. 

His refresher was bigger then most she had seen. It had double vanities and a shower stall bigger and more advanced then she saw necessary. 

Ben came up behind her. She jumped at his prescence then cursed herself for being scared.

"Sorry." He mumbled, stripping his shirt.

"You can wait here and I'll shower real quick, while you calm down." He offered.

"We could just shower together." She mumbled. 

She thought the idea was insane. Absolutely insane, but it would mean she didn't have to be alone, and it wasnt exactly the worst situation to be in. After all he owed her. He had seen her twice on accident and now, she thought, it was her turn to repay the debt. 

"What was that?" He said, as if he wasn't sure he heard her right. 

"We could shower together." She said more confidently.

He looked at her like she had three heads.

"What?"

Her eyes flashed to his, first pausing on his chest.

"You heard me. Its not like you havent seen me nude before." 

He narrowed his eyes lost in thought. 

"Are you absolutely sure about it, Rey?"

She rubbed her face. 

"Am I sure about anything Ben?" She groaned. "All I know is I'm terrified to be alone and I need a shower and you need a shower and you're the only one I trust to do it with me, besides Gaeli, but I don't swing that way so for the love of the Force," she rushed out.

"Will you take a shower with me." 

He looked at her, dumbfounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm evil.
> 
> I know.
> 
> I'll have more up later. 
> 
> I promise.


	34. Just a Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reylo kiss.
> 
> HAPPY CHRISTMAS
> 
> here's reylo fluff
> 
> Also, lady antebellum, just a kiss, definitely a song I'd listen to during reading this

"It's hard to fight these feelings  
When it feels so hard to breathe  
Caught up in this moment  
Caught up in your smile

I've never opened up to anyone  
So hard to hold back  
When I'm holding you in my arms  
We don't need to rush this  
Let's just take it slow

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight  
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright  
And I don't want to mess this thing up  
I don't want to push too far  
Just a shot in the dark that you just might  
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life  
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

I know that if we give this a little time  
It'll only bring us closer  
To the love we wanna find  
It's never felt so real  
No it's never felt so right"

\--Just a Kiss, Lady Antebellum

 

___________________________________________

 

"Okay." He said.

She wanted to shower with him. He really tried to suppress all of the thoughts that came with showering with, anyone really. But, taking one look at her, how scared and small she was, how could he say no? 

Sure there were plenty of other things he wanted to do to her, but she needed something else, other then that, right now. And she was asking him for help. 

"You dont have to." She rushed, breaking him from his train of thought. She looked down and fidgeted nervously.

"I just thought that maybe..." She said quietly. 

Ben didnt know what he was doing, but he walked over to her and slowly unfolded her arms and grabbed the hem of her shirt lifting it over her head. She watched him, not making a sound. He kept close tabs on her mind in case he did anything that might alarm her.

Rey took the hint and continue to strip her clothes as Ben went over and started the shower. He smiled at her thoughts of how complicated it was to her. Adjusting it to the right pressure and temperature he turned back around and saw Rey, once again, in nothing.

Her beauty struck him even hard then it had before. He deeply buried all of the inappropriate thoughts of the things he wanted to do to her body, before he found himself in an awkward situation.

He held out his hand, offering the shower for her to step in before he did. Rey took his hand and stepped into the stream of warm water and kept her eyes trained on the wall in front of her. 

He smiled at her efforts and finished undressing the rest of the way and joined her in the shower.

'You know, I won't tell at you for...being curious.' He thought to her softly.

_______________________________________

Her cheeks burned. 

Of course she wanted to look, to see the man standing behind her. 

But she didnt know why.

There was the obvious reason, but she decided to tuck that one away. It's not the reason she needed him right now, but in all of her focus and trying to ignore the embarrassment, she forgot why she really did want him here.

Ben's had brushed her shoulder softly and she jumped again.

Oh.

Yeah.

She was afraid to be alone.

She squeezed her eyes shut as the beast whispered against her skin again. 

Ben ran his fingers through her dripping matted hair, running his fingers across her scalp, bringing her back to reality.

"Close your eyes." He told her softly.

She did and he worked his fingers up the crown of her head and towards her temples and hairline, her hair becoming lighter with the soap he was running through it. 

It smelled more floral then the soap she had used here before. Had he gotten it for her? Had he always had it? Did he have it for some other girl?

He chuckled.

"Rey," he called softly. "Rey, darling, I got it for you. Theres only you, Rey." He consoled. 

"Get out of my head." She grumbled. 

"Stop projecting your thoughts then." He countered and she could hear the smirk in his voice. 

"I hate you." She muttered.

"No you don't." He replied the humor clear in his voice. 

She huffed. He was right. She didnt hate him. He was here with her, in the shower for force sake, because she needed him. She couldnt hate that. Especially when his fingers felt heavenly rinsing the soap from her hair.

"Rey, will you be alright if I go now, just to let you finish your shower?"

She nodded. Ben turned her slowly around to face him and tilted her chin up to look at him. 

"Verbal."

"I'll be okay. I can shower." She said keeping her eyes trained on his. A small blush surfaced in her cheeks. He nodded.

His raven hair was plastered around his face and tiny water droplets clung to his thick dark eyelashes. She was curious and let her eyes wander.

Down his scar that adorned his face, down his broad muscular shoulders and chest. She studied the leather cord that held his stone close to his heart. The water cascading down each chiseled ridge of his form made him look godly. Her eyes flitting to his arms, that were so strong yet, had the capability to hold her delicately. Her eyes burned to keep going, but she stopped herself.

She wasn't ready. This wasn't the time, or the situation. 

She nodded again and looked back up at him. His eyes were filled with confusion. He opened his mouth to start to question why, but she didnt have time to answer.

Before she knew what she was doing she reached up on her toes and wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him closer and pressed her lips to his, stopping all of the questions she didn't have answers for. 

_______________________________________

Ben froze in shock.

Rey had a hell of a good time choosing when to kiss him. 

Her lips were soft and forceful against his, yet when she tilted her head to give herself a better angle, they seemed to fit perfectly with his. Just as he was starting to enjoy their kiss she pulled away, her cheeks a deep scarlet.

"Rey," He breathed softly. 

She pressed her hands onto his chest, staring at the stone rather intently.

"Get some clothes on and wait for me before we try that again." She said commandingly.

Again? 

He nodded and pressed his lips to her forehead, as a gentle farewell. Stepping out of the shower, Ben grabbed the nearest towel and dried his face.

What had just happened?

Well, she kissed him. Thats what happened. She invited him to shower with her, then she kissed him. 

But it wasnt for sexual reasons. No, it was just what had happened. 

He dried himself off and threw on an old pair of pants sitting on his bed. Ben yanked a comb through his hair quickly, only delaying from the slight knotting from his shower, though the oil in it from his earlier shower kept most of the tangles at bay. 

Rey had just kissed him. His little desert star had just kissed him. He laughed and laid back on his bed grinning like a love struck school boy. 

Rey had kissed him. 

And she wanted to do it again. 

The end of her shower couldn't come soon enough.

_______________________________________

Reys lips still burned from where they had made contact with Ben's.

She didn't know why she did it. 

She didn't really care.

She just wanted to do it again.

She hurried with the rest of her shower and dried and dressed hastily combing through her tangled hair with her fingers. She glanced in the mirror at her appearance, and though it wasnt the best, it would have to do. She shut off the light and nearly tripped out the refresher door.

"In a hurry are we little desert star?" Ben mused from his bed. 

She turned red again and stood there, frozen.

A laugh rumbled through his chest. Something she had come to adore.

She made her way over to him, and sat down on the bed beside him.

"Ben I--"

She didn't get much further with his lips pressed to hers.

His lips greeted her gently this time, his hand coming up to cup her face. She slid her eyes shut and focused on his touch. Reys heart hammered in her chest as Bens lips slowly began to move. She kept up with his dance, melding her lips to his, slowly learning how they worked with one another. 

Reys hand drifted to Bens shoulder and she curled her fingers in the tips of his hair. 

Rey almost had a heart attack when Ben's tongue teased hers. His tongue was slow and gentle, inviting hers to come play. Rey didnt know what to do other then follow his lead, and she did.

They sat there figuring out how to kiss each other, their dance becoming more in sync, more in tune with one another. 

Their bond strengthened.

Rey was no longer afraid of the beasts lurking in the dark, for she had her own secrets in it, and knew the dark by name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Ben knocks people out when he doesnt want to talk but Rey kisses them.
> 
> Go figure.
> 
> Hope you all had a happy Christmas
> 
> Love you all
> 
> Thank you for everything.


	35. The Calm Before The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awe my lovelies, it's been a month of these crazy kids.
> 
> Here a little fluff and some plot.
> 
> Have fun.
> 
> Oh and The Last Jedi spoilers, heads up.

"Oh the moment that  
I first heard your voice  
It was the perfect pitch  
In a world of noise.

Stay with me tonight  
let your senses lost this fight  
In the open wilderness of love.

Let me show you how  
you should never be without.  
So lay your weary hand on mine  
and I'll show you who this heart beats for."

\--Wilderness, Jon Byrant

 

____________________________________________

 

Rey didnt remember when she fell asleep, but sure enough, there she was, tucked in Ben's arms with her head tucked under his chin. 

She remembered the kiss, and the perfection of it. How he pulled away gently, leaving them panting slightly and staring at each other. 

She remembered Ben's eyes. His big brown eyes that looked at her with awe and mystery, tiny flecks of gold sparkling in them, like the stars out his window.

Rey turned over and pressed her back against Ben and he shifted wrapping his arms around her waist, cradling her like a pillow.

She glanced around the room, and seeing nothing wrong, she went back to sleep. She felt safe.

Her dreams were calm and welcoming. She found herself in an area of grass with wildflowers spouting out lazily, she heard running water off to the distance and a forest surrounded her grass.

"Its a meadow." A deeply silky voice informed her.

She turned and smiled. It was Ben. He had a cream colored shirt that hung loosely from his frame and his traditional black pants and boots. His eyes were shining as he smiled at her. Half of his hair was tied back, but the breeze tickled the looser hairs into his face. 

"Is it really you? Or is it dream Ben?" She asked curiously.

He chuckled. It sounded godly.

"Dream Ben?" He mused. 

She felt her cheeks growing warm.

"You know, you, but not you, the one from my dreams..." She fumbled out. 

He laughed and awalked closer to her and took her hands. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to hers.

"That feel like a dream?" He murmmered onto her lips.

She shook her head as her heart fluttered at his touch.

"So you're here." She said.

He nodded and led her to an open area among the wildflowers where he sat down.

"Where is here?" She asked, sitting down beside him.

He furrowed his brow, like he did when he was thinking. 

"Remember the first time we shared the mindscape?" 

She nodded and thought back to the time she desperately tried to pull Kylo from the consuming waves. 

"Remember how I said there was an island?"

That she vaguely remembered. She was a little consumed in the betrayal part.

"Welcome to island." He said looking out at the landscape.

Despite how he called it an island, it was massive, the hills rolled and mountains rose to form peaks capped with snow. They were all in different hues of blues and greens and every bit of beautiful to Rey. 

"I thought you said that this was the light--"

"It is." He cut off. 

"So then how...?" She looked at him.

"I dont know, but I'm not going to take it for granted." He said, sure of himself. 

She nodded and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I like it here." She said absentmindedly, watching the delicate flowers sway in the warm sunny day.

He nodded. "Me too." 

A gentle wind came by once again and ruffled the flowers and grass, making it look like waves of greenery.

"This is what the light side of the Force is supposed to be." He said softly. "No rules restricting, no Jedi order. Just light, and goodness. Something calm and pure."

She nodded. She hated the Jedis teachings sometimes. To deny emotions, and passion. She knew it was wrong. Hadnt her passion and love for Ben saved them from Snoke in the mindscape? Hadn't she used the light side of the force for that?

"That's why Anakin did it, you know." He said.

"Wait, Anakin, brown scruffy hair, kinda looks like a tanner version of Luke?" 

He chuckled. "Well Anakin is his father."

She looked at him shocked but he kept going.

"He gave up the light side because the Jedi wouldnt allow him to love, it made him a little... Unstable. He went to the dark side to try to save his love." Ben sighed. "In the end he failed, but the Jedi order has always been flawed." 

"I know." Rey said and laughed humorlessly. "Luke told me I'd get to lonely if I followed the Jedi ways."

Ben stiffened slightly.

"Least he didn't try to kill you." He said flatly.

Rey sat up straight, anger flooding her senses.

"He did what!?" She seethed. 

Ben gave a sad smile and rubber her arm, appeasing her righteous anger.

"Its okay Rey, I've tried to kill him too. We're even."

"Doesn't make it right." She mumbled.

"Suppose not. But he was afraid, and so was I." He paused. "I was young and Snoke started digging his claws in with the dark side, Luke sensed it and wanted to end me, afraid of the power in the force I had, and how it could be swayed, so in the middle of the night he..."

Rey stroked his cheek softly.

"I'm so sorry Ben."

He gave a quick smile and shugged.

"I destoryed the temple and slaughtered them Rey, it's nothing to apologize for." He said nonchalantly.

She sighed softly and layed her head in his lap, closing her eyes letting the warm sun wash over her face.

"Still isnt right, Ben." She said turning her head towards the midday sun.

He was silent, thoughtful. She felt him shift and lay back on the grass, so she shifted her head further up his chest so that she could feel his torso rise and fall with each breath. 

She couldnt believe Luke would do that. Okay, well maybe she could but...

She let out a gentle sigh.

"Don't dwell on it my desert star. Its long gone." He said as if reading her thoughts, and maybe he was. He had accused her of projecting her thoughts, and maybe she did.

But he said not to dwell on it. If he had gotten past it then she could let it go. She focued on his breathing, the warmth on her skin, the breeze that caressed it, and the sound of the nearby running water.

Why had the Jedi ever want to ruin this?

········

Rey didn't remember falling asleep on his chest in the meadow but she must have, because the dream was gone and a rather enthusiastic Togruta was yelling at her to wake up.

Well.

"Hey losers, lets go! We have work to do!" 

Was more exact.

Ben grumbled something about getting a better lock on the door and rolled over, pulling a pillow over his head, her pillow.

She pulled it back and whacked him with it.

"Get up." She scolded. 

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked up to see Gaeli up dressed and very energetic.

Rey was never a morning person so of course her best friend was. Gaeli was pacing back and forth.

"You guys are so lazy! Come on!" She urged. 

"Volume Gaeli. Please and thank you. We had a late night last night, and would appreciate a quieter morning." Rey grumbled.

"Late night?" She said raising her eyebrows grinning.

"Out." She yelled at Gaeli pointing at the door.

"Fine, but I expect you both to be up and dressed in fifteen. No getting side tracked." She called walking out.

Rey groaned and flopped back on the bed beside Ben. 

"Why do we keep her?" Rey asked.

Ben chuckled and sat up kissing her forehead along the way.

"You love her and you know it." He said getting up and making his way towards his closet. 

"Begrudgingly." Rey mumbled.

"Love all the same." He replied, throwing on another shirt and pulling his hair back in a tie. 

"Now come on, get up." He told her.

"Fine." She said getting up. 

"Here." 

He handed her another set of clothes that were tailored to her, no, she knew these clothes, they were the ones Gaeli had given her when she arrived at Kepler.

"Thanks." She said talking them, walking to the bathroom to change. 

The clothes felt good and familiar. She looked more like herself. She pjlled her hair up into the three buns she was acostume too and washed her face with some cool water. She looked in the mirror, it would have to do.

She walked out and called her staff to her hand and threw the strap abound her shoulder, securing it to her back, where it belonged. 

Ben had his saber strapped to his belt, and his cloak draped around his shoulders. She glanced at hers bit didn't take it.

She wasnt afraid anymore, she knew who she was, and what she was going to do.

No more hiding, and no more denying who she was.

She was a force user, and the light side always coursed through her.

It was unstoppable, and so was she.

_______________________________________

 

"Unstoppable." Snoke mused.

"Lets see just how unstoppable you are little scavenger."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't they precious.
> 
> Isn't Gaeli amazing? 
> 
> But it's about to go down. 
> 
> Stay tuned.
> 
> Love you all


	36. A Mothers Fear

"Hiccup: Uh, should I... should I know you?

Valka: No. You were only a babe.

Valka: But a mother never forgets."

\--How To Train Your Dragon 2

 

___________________________________________

 

They made their way back to the training room, and again it cleared as soon as Ben stepped through the door. Rey felt him stiffen at it, but he shrugged off her hand of comfort. She pursed her lips and took her saber off her back.

It was ripped from her hands. Ben had it in his, smirking.

"Whatcha gonna do?" He challeneged.

The saber was taken from his hands, but not by Rey.

"How bout not be ignored in training today?" Gaeli raised her eyebrow.

Rey grinned and used the force to tear her saber away from Gaeli, back into her own arms. 

"Touché." He remarked. "But he'll be focused on Rey and I, so you can watch for now."

He turned to Rey, as Gaeli scoffed.

"Snoke is more powerful than anyone I've met in the ways of the force, not just mental, but physical." 

Rey felt her limbs become leaden.

"So thats what we're going to work on." He said walking towards them, examining her.

"Get out." He commanded. 

Rey tried to move her limbs to break the hold on her. She got nowhere, her body felt like it was trapped in molasses.

"You're not going to get out like that Rey. Use the force."

She scoffed. "You sound like Luke."

He recoiled at that. The weight on her for heavier. She glared at Ben. He shrugged.

"Get out." He prompted again.

She glared fiercely at him and closed her eyes and called out to the force. It didnt respond to her. She flashed her eyes opened and looked at Ben in panic.

"Figure it out Rey. Use that brain of yours." He said calmly.

She nodded and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes again, but instead of reaching out to the force she drew what she had within her. She called to the force in her blood, in her bones, to the power and pureness it had, and pressed against the murky bonds around her. They loosened. 

She looked triumphantly at Ben. The bonds pressed tighter, and she almost lost her footing. She growled.

"Asshole." She seethed.

"Weakling." He countered.

This got her riled up, anger flowed through her, the bonds became tighter, she could barely breathe.

"Ben." She croaked.

"Anger fuels the dark side Rey. Subdue it." He said rather calm.

She glared at him but did what he said. Closing her eyes she took deep steady breaths, letting her anger go. Instead she thought of Ben, and her love for him, and the feeling of his lips and the taste of his tongue. She let it course though her as she remembered the meadow and the sun on her face. The calmness, the peace.

The force came to her and welcomed her, it aided her and helped the murkiness fade away. She tried moving her fingers, they moved with ease. She smiled. She moved her hand at the wrist, then arm at the shoulder. Soon she took a step, nothing held her back.

_______________________________________

If her eyes had been opened she would have seen the shock on Gaelis face and the grin on Ben's.

In the beginning he put the restraint on her in a medium strength, trying to see how she would respond. 

To anyone else, the restraint would have knocked them to the floor, but Rey held her ground. He could feel her reach out to the force, but he surpressed it from her. Snoke wouldnt allow her to use any source outside of herself.

She used the froce from with in her, like she should, and she beamed at him. His heart felt like it could burst, but he needed to push her harder. She couldnt be defeated by Snoke, not if he could help it. 

He pressed her bonds harder, she got angry. Ben got agitated. Thats not what she needed to do. He let go of his restraint on the force, the restraint holding it back from crushing her, and let it consume her.

"Anger fuels the dark side Rey. Subdue it." He warned. 

She took his advice and closed her eyes. He couldnt keep tabs on her mind because of the darkness around her so he stood there and watched.

Gaeli made her way next to him.

"That's a lot of restraints on her there Ben. You sure she can do it?" She worried.

He saw her wiggle her fingers. He grinned.

"Nah. Shes got it." He said.

"How are you so sure?" Gaeli questioned.

"Look."

Gaeli followed his gaze, to the girl tho had destroyed the darkness of the force. Well, she hadnt destroyed it, but she had changed it, it went from light and dark, to just raw power. The kind of force Gaeli used. 

"How did she...?" Gaeli gawked.

Ben just grinned and shook his head.

"Who knows?" He said going over to Rey.

"Rey, Rey, you can open your eyes now." He said. 

She didnt, she only smirked, and before he could respond, he saw her hand flick out and the force around her threw him back. He landed on his shoulder and cursed.

Rey was laughing and so was Gaeli. 

"Not so fun is it now Ben?" Rey grinned. 

Ben stood and rolled his shoulder, easing the pain. Anger flared though his eyes and a grin spread across his face. 

"Is that how were playing then?" He growled playfully. 

"Bring it." Rey challenged.

"Show us what you got Ren." Gaeli called standing beside Rey.

Ben let the force flow through him and he there out an attack towards Rey and Gaeli. 

Gaeli was knocked off her feet, but Rey only slip back a few inches.

"Pathetic." She teased Ben, and threw out an attack of her own, but instead of knocking him off his feet it pulled him down to his knees.

He grinned. "Not bad desert star."

She released her hold and allowed him to recover, but by this time Gaeli was by her side and threw an attack at his feet, making him faceplant onto the padded floor.

Ben cursed and popped back up, blood dripping from his nose. The girls were grinning. 

"Too much for you Benny?" Rey teased. 

"Benny?" Gaeli question.

Rey shrugged. 

Something pinned Ben against the wall restraining him. He was choking and gasping for air.

"Okay Gaeli, I know you dont like him, but let him breathe." Rey said.

"That's... Not me Rey."

Alarm ran through her veins. 

"Ben!?" She screamed and ran towards him.

"Back away from him Rey!" A voice hollered to her.

She whipped around quickly and a woman filled her sights.

Phasma.

"Let him go!" She shrieked rushing towards the woman calling her saber to her hands igniting it.

Gaeli seemed to think the same and called her blaster and aimed it at Phasma, but this was Reys fight.

"But he was harming you child." She said calmingly.

"We were training! He wasnt hurting me!" She screamed. "LET HIM GO!" She demanded, drawing closer.

"As you wish."

She heard Ben fall to the floor wheezing and gasping. He was okay. Gaeli rushed over to help him to his feet, but Rey kept her focus on Phasma.

She glared daggers at her, pointing her blade at Phasmas chest.

"Why would you even care?" She growled.

"I lost you so long ago. I wasnt going to lose you again."

Phasmas blue eyes pierced Reys.

"Why should I trust you?" Rey hissed, circling the woman.

"Because a mother never forgets."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLOT TWIST
> 
> actually if you didnt see that coming I may be judging you.
> 
> I love you all
> 
> Thank you for your support, dont stop. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, disclaimer: I just rewatched HTTYD2 and realized it was kinda exactly the same but not really. I didnt steal it, it was just a coincidence.


	37. Red

"Once you care about a person, its impossible to be logical about them anymore."

\--New Moon, Stephanie Meyers

 

______________________________________________

 

Ben saw red. 

Who the hell did this woman think she was?

He pulled Rey away from her using the force, making sure her saber was off first, then shugged off Gaeli and pinned the traitor against the wall, stalking up to her.

"Give me ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDNT KILL YOU!" He roared.

Ben felt himself slipping back into Kylo Ren. He was forcing the life out of the pinned woman. He didn't care. If this woman was Reys mother, his Reys mother, then she abandoned her daughter and hurt his Rey deeply. 

Rey hid it from herself, like all of her other fears, but Ben knew. He knew how she longed for a family, how happy it made her when she found Gaeli and him. 

A hurt that never should have happened.

"WHY DID YOU ABANDON HER!?" He screamed. "YOU LEFT HER ALONE! SHE DID NOTHING!" 

Anger exploded through Kylo. He should kill this woman. This woman who had made Rey believe she was no one. That she wasn't important. That made his precious desert star think that she didnt make an impact on anything.

He should kill her.

A soft voice called to him. 

"Ben,"

He almost missed it. 

Something small and weak was on his shoulder.

He whipped around growling at whoever dared touch him, and saw Rey standing there, a gentle look on her face, and a fiercness mixed with fear in her eyes.

The red faded.

She reached out and stroked his cheek softly, brushing away stray angry tears. 

Kylo Ren faded.

Phasma dropped to the floor, just as he did earlier, panting and gasping for air.

"Secure her Gaeli." Rey said quickly.

Ben stood there in shock. He didnt know what to do. Rey wouldnt meet his eyes, but she stayed near him, gathering their things with the force.

She was afraid of him. 

Of what he had done.

He was a monster.

"No."

Her voice was as clear as a bell.

"No." She said stubbornly.

He fell to his knees. She rushed to him, untying his hair and running her fingers through it.

Somehow, it calmed him. 

She tilted his chin up and pressed a fleeting kiss to his lips. 

"You protected me." 

Her fingers detangled his hair. 

"Im not afraid Ben." She soothed - lies - working her fingertips on his scalp. "Come on, let's go get you cleaned up."

Cleaned up?

He looked up at her, his eyes pleading. The eyes of a broken man.

"Rey..." He rasped.

She hushed him softly.

"Come on," She said, her voice as smooth as the floor he was on. "Lets go sort this out."

She still wanted him.

'Of course I still want you, come on, lets go.' Rey consoled - lies.

He stood slowly and Rey took his hand. She was in his mind, and he knew it, because there was no way she remembered her way to his room. She reached up on her toes and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. 

"Go on in, I'll be there in a minute." She said - lies - and rubbed his arm.

He didnt move, he just stood there in front of the door. Rey pursed her lips and went into the room adjacent.

_______________________________________

Rey was afraid. She didnt know how Ben had switched back to Kylo Ren so quickly, and then he turned on her. She didnt know what to do, but press on. 

So she got Ben out of training room and back to his room using the map in his head, trying to ignore his self loathing. Rey left him in the hall, and went to hers trying to figure out what to do next.

Phasma was in her room, sitting on her couch. Gaeli was standing guard over her. Their eyes flashed to her and Phasma opened her mouth.

"Save it." Rey hissed and rubbed her face. 

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes leaning against the door. What was she going to do? What had happened to her Ben?

There was a hand was rubbing her arm. She opened her eyes barely and saw Gaeli by her side, comforting her. 

"Not exactly what you thought he was, now is he?" Phasma mused, as if she knew Reys doubts.

Reys eyes flashed opened. Her blood boiled.

"And you're not exactly what I thought? Now are you?" She gritted through her teeth. "Now dont you dare judge him or say a word about him! You have no place!" She yelled. "He wants and needs me safe! So yes he's going to be overprotective, and rash!" Rey paced the floor towards Phasma. "But that's who he is and force forbid he ever changes!"

"And whys that?" Phasma replied calmly, despite the raging girl.

"Because..." She paused and took a breath, calming herself. "Because I love him, and I don't want him any other way then who he is." 

Rey turned from Phasma and looked at Gaeli.

"What did I do?" She whispered.

Gaeli grinned and nodded towards the door. Rey hit the ground running out of the room and ran into the brick wall that was Ben. She fell back from the sheer force of the impact and her breath was knocked from her.

"Ben." She panted out. 

He was kneeling by her side in an instant, hesitant to touch her. As if he knew her fear. She propped up on her elbows and smiled at his respect for her. 

"Ben." She repeated. 

"Rey, are you okay? Did she hurt you?" He rushed worried, looking her over.

She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him close.

"Thank you Ben."

She felt him go rigid, but he slowly wrapped one of his hands around her back.

"For what Rey?" He asked.

"For being mean and intimadating and irrational and protective." 

He frowned.

"Youre thanking me... for being... irrational?" 

She nodded and stood, offering him her hand.

"Now lets go get you cleaned up."

"Clean up what? What about Phasma?" He asked, taking her hand standing up with her.

She chuckled. 

"She can wait. Gaeli has her, and your nose is bleeding Ben." She said as if it was obvious.

His licked his lips and tasted the metallic twang of his own blood.

"I'm fine Rey, it's just a nose bleed. There are more pressing matters." He insisted.

She rolled her eyes. "Everything else can wait. And you yell at me for not taking care of myself."

"Well you don't." 

"Neither do you." She crossed her arms and smirked. 

He scoffed and went into his room she followed smiling. 

Ben sat on his bed and pulled of his shirt and raised it to his nose. Rey snatched it away and glared. 

"You'll ruin the shirt. Blood doesn't come out easy." She scolded.

He rolled his eyes and she went to the fresher to grab a spare towel and ran it under the faucet, before going back to him. Rey sat beside him and offered him the towel. He rolled his eyes and wiped off the drying blood handing the towel back.

"All clean. Happy?" 

She rolled her eyes. 

"For now." 

_______________________________________

Gaeli glared at Phasma.

"Why did you do that?" She questioned, glaring.

"Do what?" Phasma replied, keeping her calm stature. 

"Get Rey all riled up like that. You cant just come in claim youre her mother, then question what she feels for the poor kid." 

"Well it certainly seemed to help, no?" Phasma smiled.

Gaeli opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't think of anything. Phasma was right. It had helped Rey come to her senses. 

"Well played." Gaeli said leaning aginst the wall smirking.

"Thank you."

Gaeli walked over and sat on the couch across from Phasma, placing her blaster on the small table in between the two.

"I don't entirely trust you, so you try anything and I'll shoot you." Gaeli started. "But, you claim your Reys mother, which means you were sisters with Junu."

Phasma flinched at the name.

"So tell me," Gaeli pressed on. "If you really are the legendary Force Warrior of old, why did you abandon the tribe?"

Phasma was silent.

"Why did you?" She countered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the plot thickens.
> 
>  
> 
> And like almost 1000 of you have read this and it amazes me because this was just a shot in the dark, now look at it.
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you
> 
> Don't stop.
> 
> I love you all


	38. Ohana

"This is my family.  
I found it, all on my own.  
It's little, and broken,  
but still good.  
Yeah, still good."

\--Stitch, Lilo and Stitch 

 

_______________________________________________

 

Rey placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you okay Ben?" She asked. 

Was he okay? 

He wanted to say yes, he was fine. Why worry her? 

But he knew that he wasnt okay. He knew that he had scared her, that she caught glimpses of him he tried to hide from her, for her sake, but there it was out in the open.

But then he also heard what she had screamed at Phasma. Those words that hit him as hard as she did when she rushed out of the door. 

'He wants and needs me safe! So yes he's going to be overprotective, and rash!' She had said.

He did want her safe. More than anything he was just trying to protect her. That's why he gave up Ben. She didnt need Ben there, she needed Kylo. So he let Kylo come back.

'But that's who he is and force forbid he ever changes!' She had yelled.

She didnt want him to change. Despite how desperately he wanted to, she didnt want him to. But why?

'Because I love him, and I don't want him any other way then who he is.' She had whispered, barely audiable.

Because she loved him.

Wasn't that a miracle enough?

But no. She was so much more, she loved him for him, and she wanted him for what he was, not what he tried to hide from her, not for what he showed her.

"Ben?" She asked again, pulling him from his train of thought.

"Yes." He said.

"Yes youre okay? Or yes youre listening?" She mused.

"Yes." He said again.

A small laugh escaped her lips. A laugh he had come to love.

"I just gave you two options,"

"And I just gave an answer to both." He said looking at her. She had worry written across her face, despite the soft smile on it.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She offered.

Ben shook his head. "Not right now."

She nodded, and stood.

"Okay, then I think I have someone to meet." 

He frowned. "Who?"

"My mother."

Ben stood and tugged her waist back to him so that he was towering over her and she was almost pressed against him.

"Rey, wait." He said. She looked up at him with those big brown doe eyes that made him want to melt.

"You have a family Rey. You have me, and Gaeli. We're your family Rey." He frowned slightly and looked at her. "Dont forget that. We were here when she wasn't."

Rey saw his fear. 

His fear of being abandoned.

Of her abandoning him for this woman who claimed to be her mother.

To give up on their small haphazard family.

"Oh Ben." She breathed, then reached up and planted her lips on his firmly, her kiss more urgent than the last.

He cupped her face and held the small of her back with his hands, leaning down to kiss her properly. Her lips were hot and needy against his, her tongue teased his and demanded dominance in their passion. He wouldnt allow it. He pressed back against Reys tongue subduing it's power. He pulled her to him so that they were pressed together. His heart nearly stopped when he heard a mewl come from her mouth that sounded a lot like his name. She moaned into him again using his other name. She used both names. She uttered them both like prayers.

In an instant he let his instincts take over and grabbed the back of her knee and hooked it around his waist, holding it in place. She mewled into his mouth again as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself onto him, wrapping both if her legs around his waist. His little spidermonkey. He used both his hands to support the backs of her thighs and held her tight against him kissing her roughly. 

Her passion matched his as she knotted her fingers in his hair tugging at it enough to drive him insane. Soon she was everywhere all at once, and he let a growl escape the back of his throat to match her mewling. He felt his pants grow uncomfortably tight and she moaned out his name.

More than anything he wanted to take her right then and there, and say screw it to the rest of the galaxy. 

She pulled away from their kiss and rested her head on his bare shoulder, her soft pants making his skin tingle. 

"Thought I said you had to buy me dinner first." Rey panted out. 

Ben laughed, it shaking through both him and the girl in his arms.

"When all this is over I'll buy you anything you want my lovely little desert star."

She beamed up at him and her delicate fingers brushed away stray hairs that had fallen into his face.

"No matter what happens Ben, you will always be my family." 

He nodded and gently set her on the floor, pressing his lips to her forehead. A gesture of trust between the two. 

She smiled and ran her fingers over the small stone that hung from Ben's neck. 

"Are you ready?" She asked, not taking her eyes off of it. Ben nodded.

"Lets go meet your mother." He replied softly, gently stroking her cheek.

_______________________________________

Gaeli watched as the two entered the room, hand in hand, both looking slightly more disheveled than they were before. Their bond seemed stronger and flared with passion.

She decided not to question what had gone on in the room next door for the past twenty minutes. 

Rey walked up to Phasma calmly, Ben hovering by her side not losing physical contact with Rey. She took a deep breath and spoke.

"Whatever you say right now will not make up for what you've done. You may be my mother, but you are not yet my family. I have a family. Its small and mismatched but it's strong and good. So you will not come in here expecting to claim me. And I will not follow you because you are my mother. That is something you must earn."

Gaeli raised her eyebrows in shock. That was extremely mature of Rey. She was proud, but Rey wasnt done.

"So far, you have lied to Ben and I, and have lost his trust. Though I may allow you back into my life, what he decides is up to him. You will respect what I choose as well as what he does, and what Gaeli does. And if you can do that, then we can begin."

Judging by the look on Ben's face, that was a shock to him to. Gaeli never felt prouder of Rey. How she handled the situation was going swimmingly.

Phasma nodded. 

"I accept your conditions, now please sit." She said gesturing to the couches.

Ben and Rey sat together across from Phasma, close together, their sides touching, and their fingers still interlocked. Gaeli stood behind Rey, behind the couch. 

"Where do you want me to start?" The blue eyed woman asked.

"At the beginning." Rey replied calmly.

Phasma nodded and remained silent for a while, thinking, before she spoke.

"Junu and I were sisters. She was saved by Metisa, then came back for me a few days later. We trained in the force together, Junu accepting the Force Warriors ways, but I, was always a hopeless romantic, and never saw the problem with men."

She glanced as Gaeli and smiled.

"One fateful day, a dashing young pilot stumbled onto our city while I was out on patrol. I should have killed him then and there, but instead I asked for his name."

She gave a sad smile and sighed.

"His name was Jezikah. He was strong with the force and didnt know it. And to imagine how he felt when I explained it to him. I told him I was supposed to kill him. He asked me why I hadn't yet. I didnt have a response. With each day that passed, I hid him from my sister and Teacher, and fell in love with him. Each day he'd ask why I didnt kill him and each day I didnt respond."

She sighed.

"We created a force bond between us, and it only grew as we fell deeper into love. My sister grew suspicious of me and my change in attitude. I told her I had no idea what she was talking about."

Phasma closed her eyes as a tear fell.

"My sister killed him. Slaughter him like an animal. He died in my arms. I was going to destroy them all. I was about to destroy myself, but"

She looked at Rey.

"But my little flower kept me from it. I couldnt destroy my child. The one I had fought so hard to keep. So, I ran. I fled from Ogegia and was stupid enough to look back. To look back and see my flower trapped in the arms of the creature I had once called my sister."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *collective gasp*
> 
> In all honesty you knew most of that.
> 
> But look how mature Rey was. My little baby. I'm so proud of her.
> 
> Also runaway kisses are my absolute favorite kind, but Rey had a good head on her shoulders. I might write a side fic about what happened in that 20 minutes. Let me know if you want it.
> 
> Also, I really can't express enough how much you guys mean to me. You all are amazing and I love you. Don't stop with your support.
> 
>  
> 
> Also not going to be posting daily because vacays, but I'll get out as much as I can


	39. Everyone Needs A Mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg hi! Its the new year! Happy New year, I hope its going great so far. Sorry for the long delay in posting, ive been really busy, but I managed to find enough time to write about my kids.
> 
> Enjoy and have an amazing year.

"I don't know where you're going,  
But do you got room for one more troubled soul  
I don't know where I'm going,  
But I don't think I'm coming home  
And I said, I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead  
This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end"

\--Alone Together, Fall Out Boy

 

_________________________________________________

 

Phasma looked up at the trio. They all were processing her words no doubt. Rey and Ben were silent, thoughtful, but Gaeli on the other hand, was the first with a question.

"I thought Junu didnt have a sister? She was found alone by the Leader." The Togruta accused.

Phasma shook her head. 

"It was a cruel trick Junu played on herself and our people. She erased any relation to me, in fear that someone would become suspicious of her as well, of becoming a traitor; condemned as I was."

Rey frowned.

"Junu said you died a hero's death. That you were esteemed and honored." She thought aloud.

Phasma rasied her eyebrows. Her sister saying that about her was surprising. She could only guess that the guilt was getting to her sibling.

"Interesting."

"What did you do when you left? How did you end up here?" Rey questioned.

"For years, I began wandering aimlessly through the galaxy, making my way through with no real regard of what I was doing or where I was going. But I heard rumor of a strong force user swayed by the dark side and a member of the First Order. I assumed it could be you."

"So you joined." Rey peiced together.

Phasma nodded. She was smart, Phasma could see that.

"But it turned out to be Mister Ren here, not my flower, but it seemed like this was the place the force was calling me to, so I stayed, went up in rank and waited. And it seemed my patience paid off."

Rey nodded, and the thoughtful silence returned. 

"Jezikah?"

Kylo's voice made Rey jump slightly. Just like her lost flower, she hadn't expected him to speak.

Phasma nodded wistfully.

"Why?" Rey asked Kylo.

"I think... I think he flew with my father. I vaguely remember the name, and the stories."

Rey looked at him and chuckled, rubbing her face.

The three of them looked at her.

She started laughing, letting it shake her frame. 

"What!?" They asked in unison, Kylo getting tense, facing the girl. The girl only laughed.

Her face was red, and tears escaped the corners of her eyes as she took deep breaths calming.

"Isnt this just a little bizarre? Force look at the week I've had! I leave Luke and find you," she gestured to Gaeli. 

"Then you come back into my life despite my best efforts to get the kriff away from you." She said to Ben. "I help you, you betray me, then let me in again and now were here force bonded, with apparently the woman whos my mother, who, who, had been working for you all this time, and now her force mate used to know your dad!?" 

She leaned back on the couch laughing. 

"And now we're supposed to fight some powerful creature who's tried to kill us more times then I can remember, and lets not forget the fact that the only reason Ben is still here is a stupid rock around his neck from a city of force using women who condemn men, the same kriffin city where my mother and best friend are from."

She closed her eyes and laughed. She had had too much to deal with. She lost it. It was too much. So she laughed.

Because stars it was too much for her. 

_______________________________________

Ben let a small laugh escape his lips as he peiced together what she did. She was right. How the hell had they wound up like this? 

'The force works in mysterious ways.' Luke had said to him when he was a small boy.

Never had his uncle been so right.

So he laughed. 

He laughed with Rey. He laughed about the insanity of it all. How had his life become so complicated?

Thinking back to when he was small, he never really wanted an extravagant life. He was never into the newest model speeder or the most recent galaxy affairs; he liked his simple life, his mom and dad home, and family meals, and when his uncle visited. He wanted something simple, but his parents never asked him, they saw his potential and found every way he could use it. 

'You'll be a great Jedi one day.' Hjs mother had said to him.

He had smiled and nodded. What did he know? He just wanted his parents happy. 

So he tried. He tried really hard to be a great Jedi, but a creature convinced him it wasn't his full potential.

Hadn't his parents wanted him to live up to his full potential?

_______________________________________

Gaeli watched the two as they laughed, not sure of how to respond.

She was pretty sure Rey had gone into hysterics and her body couldn't accept anything else, and maybe Ben had too, but she couldn't tell; he had gone quiet with the laughter before Rey did, looking out into nothing, as if he was lost in thought.

She rolled her eyes and left them to it, sitting beside Phasma on the couch.

"So how did this happen?" Phasma asked, gesturing to the couple.

"I don't even think they know, to be honest. Rey didn't give up on him. I think it meant more to Ben then she knew."

Phasma nodded.

The laughter died down, and it left them breathless and both with minor headaches. 

"Kriff I can't take anymore." Rey muttered. She stood and rubbed her face.

"It was a pleasure Phasma, and thank you for explaining to me what happened." Rey said.

"And where do you think you're going?" Ben mused.

She chuckled again and shrugged. 

"I dont know, the day is young, I have a lot to think about. Maybe a walk. Maybe I'll kill someone. I don't know."

Rey turned to Ben.

"How long do we have til he's here?"

She didnt need to mention his name. He knew who she was talking about. 

"I was informed a week a few days ago. I can only assume we have three or four days til he arrives."

Rey nodded. 

"Great. Then I'm going for a walk."

"Want some company?"

It was Phasma who asked.

Rey turned and studied the woman, then shook her head.

"I need some alone time." She pointed to Gaeli and Ben. "That means both of you too. I need to be alone."

Gaeli nodded, and Ben started to protest but with a motherly stare from Phasma and a glare from herself he kept his comments to himself.

"Be careful." He said.

Rey smiled.

"Always am."

Gaeli snorted. Rey threw a glare at her and grabbed her cloak and saber and headed out the door, leaving the three in silence.

"So who's going to follow her?" Phasma asked.

Gaeli grinned. "I like you more and more."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Phasma. The mother they never knew they needed.
> 
> And look Rey kinda broke the fourth wall.
> 
> I really love you all.
> 
> Please like if you want more and leave comments if youre enjoying it.
> 
> Thank you.


	40. Darkness Decends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahahahahahaha.
> 
> Have fun.

 

 

"In this sick world it's kill or be killed."

-Flowey, Undertale

 

____________________________________________

 

 

Ben stood.

 

He had just watched Rey walk out and wasnt very secure about her mental state or her ability to navigate the ship yet.

 

 So whos gonna follow her?"

 

More than anything Ben wanted to. He wanted to know that Rey was okay. That she still knew he was there for her, despite what had happened.  That even if she did have a mother now, that he was still there, and he still loved her, even if it was in his own twisted way, that had almost killed her supposed mother.

 

Ben didnt know if he trusted Phasma entirely. She had lied to him all those years of who she was, and her motives of joining the First Order. She had also hurt Rey by leaving her. He suspected that Phasma was the change that had happened in Reys signature. He couldnt neglect that Phasma had come back, and had protected and helped Rey on more then one occasion.

 

Which path to choose seemed unclear. Rey, seemed to have an idea of what she wanted to do. Ben knew Rey would never turn her back on him, at least from what hes seen from her. Ben decided he would follow Reys decision on the matter, trusting her. If she trusted Phasma, then so would he. He could at least give her that.

 

"I'm going." He said curtly. He have no room for negotiation. He needed to make sure she was okay. If he didnt hed probably need to kill something.

 

He stalked out of the room before the two women could say anything. 

 

He followed her signature for a while, not getting to close, but just making sure she was out of trouble. She wasn't really making it anywhere dangerous. Rey was actually making her way to the engine room, where all the mechanics of the ship laid.

 

He smiled at that. No matter who she became, scavenging would always be apart of her.

 

_______________________________________

 

Rey walked.

 

And walked.

 

She didn't think about what had happened. She put Phasma and her stories far from her mind. She pushed away thoughts of Gaeli and Ben. Everything that had become her normal recently.

 

Instead she thought back to her old normal. On Jakku.

 

Get up, grab her trusted staff, look for ships that may have surfaced in the sand over night and look for parts that would get her the most of a portion. Rey was smart. She never let herself run entirely out of portions, she rationed well, and always scrounged up something to trade in.

 

So she went back into that mind set. Where would the most valuabe parts of this stupid ship be. The engines no doubt, so she made her way to them, following the hum of the machine, and where a massive ship like this would have it.

 

It grew much colder as she searched, so Rey pulled her cloak tighter around her, grasping at it with her fingers. Despite the chill, she pushed on. Rey knew she was headed in the right direction because of course they would keep it colder where the mechanics are, so that it wouldn't overheat.

 

Rey smiled as she apporached a solid grey metal door that read ' _engine control'_ on it. She brushed her fingers over the cool steel and shivered.

 

It was too cold on this ship.

 

Rey knew that it would be warmer in the room behind the door, but she didnt enter. It would raise too much alarm, and the proudness she felt about herself for even finding it was good enough for her.

 

Instead she put her back against the door and slid down, sitting on the floor. She leaned her head back against it and closed her eyes.

 

Rey let her mind finally wander and think about what had happened. Where it all started really.

 

It was BB-8 who had started it all she thought. The droid was smart and determined. Then Finn had come along, and then it all went down hill from there.

 

She took the Falcon, met her living legend then, she saw her first planet that wasnt Jakku. There were so many trees, and so much water. She loved it.

 

It's where she met Kylo Ren, for the first time. He was arrogant and egotistical then, hunted her down and destroyed everything in his path. She chuckled softly and rolled her eyes. He was such a drama queen.

 

Rey remember the first time she had seen Kylo's face, she thought hed be a monster, a deformed figure hiding behind a mask, just as ugly on the outside as he was within. But no, he was strangely handsome, his nose and ears slightly too big for his face and deep set eyes that held wonder and sadness. She would never forget his face that day. He wasnt Kylo Ren in that moment, just, Kylo.

 

She smiled to herself and tucked away that memory in her ever growing pool of him in her mind. She didn't know when she had started collecting her memories of him, but there they were, all together, to comfort her like a warm day.

 

_'_ _But that's not everything pet...'_

 

Then there was another Kylo she knew. The one who had killed his father in cold blood. The one who destroyed planets and killed innocent people. The one who had devoted himself to the darkside of the force. He was foolish and thick headed.

 

_'_ _He still is.'_

 

Rey frowned. She thought of when he had killed Hux without a second thought. The memories came back unwillingly of when he had betrayed her. Given her up after everything she had done for him. Turned her in like some kind of criminal. Like she was nothing. As if she meant nothing. Then again when he had almist killed Phasma. That same anger and hate in his eyes when he turned on her. The same hate and anger that was still there, always ready to strike.

 

_'He can still turn on you. Can you endure another blow from him? Can you bare to be hurt by him again?'_

 

Rey woulnt let him make the first move. She was tired of playing his game. It was time she took things into her own hands. It was time to finish this.

 

Her eyes flashed open, and anger and hatred burned like a fire within her.

 

It was time to finish Kylo Ren.

 

_______________________________________

 

Snoke chuckled and sat back.

 

The scavenger was weak minded when it came to his pet. Almost in the same way his pet was about her.

 

So much hate and anger.

 

It wasn't hard for him to sway her emotions and thoughts.

 

It wasn't hard at all.

 

_____________________________________

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay!
> 
> Angst. 
> 
> I love you guys really.
> 
> I think it's time we start to meet Snoke again.
> 
> I can't thank you enough for all your support.
> 
> I shoulf be able to go back to posting regularly now.


	41. Ben's Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST.
> 
> Ahahahahahahaha

 "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."

\--1 Peter 5:8

 

 

 

___________________________________________

 

Phasma frowned.

Something was wrong with Rey. Her force signature was off. It was wrong. Darker. More evil then before.

She looked up at Gaeli who was still sitting beside her.

"I felt it too." The warrior said.

 "We need to help her." Phasma replied, by Gaeli was already on the move getting her blaster and moving out the door.

 

Phasma jumped up and followed Gaeli.

_______________________________________

Ben broke into a run for Rey.

If there was one thing he knew it was how his former captor seduced and manipulated people, and he had done it to his Rey. Their bond was fading from his mind, as if Rey herself was ripping it apart. So much hate and anger flowed through her. He had to save her.

So he ran down the corridor and stopped just short of her golden plasma blade. Fury was in her eyes, they were much darker then her hazel brown eyes, they were almost black.

"How dare _you."_ She snarled. "You _killed_ everything I cared for. You _hurt me Kylo Ren._ I can't _trust_ you. So I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago. I'm going to _kill_ you."

Ben back away slowly and held his hands up.

"Rey listen to me. This isn't you. This is Snoke. He's manipulating you." He said as calmly as he could.

"You're one to talk Ren. You _abandoned me._ I helped you. I _trusted you._ And you left me." She seethed tears forming in her eyes as she stalked closer to him, her grip tightening on her saber.

"Rey, _please._ You know I didn't mean to hurt you." His voice cracked. " _I'm sorry, Rey."_ Ben pleaded backing up more from the girl.

Rey glared at him. Ben heard footsteps down the hall.

"Ben!?" It was Gaeli.

"Get out of here!" He yelled. 

"But Rey!?"

"I said _go!"_ He roared.

He didn't get a response from Gaeli so he assumed she had taken his advice. 

Rey was still stalking closer to him, tears streaming down her face, but they seemed to be ones of sadness, not anger. That told him she was still in there. He needed to get her out of this. Snoke couldnt have her. No, Snoke _wouldn't_ have her.

"Rey, listen, this is Snoke. He's turning you against me. Listen to me Rey. I know you're in there. Fight him. Fight him for me. Remember who you are."

Reys eyes flashed from black to hazel again, for a quick moment. If Ben had blinked he would have missed it.

_______________________________________

"Remember who you are."

Who she was.

' _A scavenger_.'

No. She was so much more.

Rey blinked and felt the coils around her mind tighten.

She was a scavenger. She was nothing to Kylo Ren. Ren wanted to kill her. She had to make the first move. She had to win.

_______________________________________ 

Ben was running out of time, and hallway, his fingers brushed against the cool metal of the wall behind him. She had him trapped.

"Rey _please. Listen. Stop_ this _._ He tried to deaf ears. "I don't want to have to fight you."

"Coward." She snarled. "No wonder you were never good enough. For Snoke, for Luke, for your parents, all you do is run away."

He grimaced. His back was against the wall. There was only one thing he could do as her saber singed his shirt.

"I'm sorry Rey. Please forgive me." He whispered.

He called on the force and immobilized her, shutting off her saber in one quick movement. She growled and broke free from his bonds but before she could get it, Ben threw her saber down the hall. Rey roared in frustration, it was almost animalistic, as she changed at him, useing the force to push him back off balanced.

"Rey stop!" He yelled at her.

"Never! I will kill you! I will spill your blood on this ground!" She screamed.

If the steaks werent so high Ben might have laughed at the small girl threatening to kill him. It was almost cute.

She was getting close to him, it's what he needed. She went in for a hit on his old wounds from their fight before and was just close enough.

Ben held her still in the force once more, but only for a split moment. That's all he needed.

He took off his leather necklace and looped it around her neck, letting the small stone fall and settle on her chest.

Her eyes faded back to hazel as he let her go. 

"Ben." She panted.

He closed his eyes and felt his world go black.

_______________________________________

 

 

Snoke hadn't hesitated to take back his old pawn.

He knew that his pet would try to save the scavenger. That was all he needed. His pet couldn't protect himself and the worthless girl, and Snoke knew exactly who he would choose to save.

Snoke didnt let him think. Didn't let him speak. Didn't let him breathe.

It was time to end this insufferable puppet.

Killing his pawn would most definetly drive the scavenger over the edge, to the dark side. So much hate and anger she would have after. It would be perfect.

_______________________________________

 

 

Rey gasped and brought a clean breath of air in her lungs as she regained control of her mind. It almost gave her whiplash of how drastically it changed.

She saw Ben on the floor writhing and gasping for air he couldn't find. Alarm ran through her blood.

"Ben!?" She shrieked, kneeling beside him.

"Ben!?" She called again.

He didnt hear her. Tears poured from her face and she ran her hands over his face and shoulders, trying to stop this invisible force that was draining the life from him.

She started sobbing.

" _No_ no. _Ben, please. Please_ don't die on me." She cried.

"Rey!?" A voice called. It was Phasma.

"Help him!" She shrieked. " _Please! Save him!_ "

Phasma was soon by her side looking over her Ben, hands came up beside her and pulled her away from him.

She screamed and struggled against the hold.

"Rey, Rey, calm down, its me." Gaeli soothed.

Rey took deep breaths and held onto her best friend as she watched Phasma work over him, and as she felt his life force slipping away, their bond cracking and breaking with every second.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry. 
> 
> Not really. 
> 
> Thank you for all of your comments and support, it means so so so much to me, you don't even know.
> 
> Please keep it up.
> 
> I love you all.
> 
> AN: I realize that using quotations from the bible may be off putting but I promise that it is from a literary standpoint. All good writings model off of something. I would never try to force anything on you. Theyre just here to show the parallels between the texts. All good writers should be able to pick up on their own parallelism. 
> 
> I would never use it for personal gain. 
> 
> I do truly love you all and whatever you believe is up to you, just like what I believe is up to me. If you want to know, you may ask but I would never force my beliefs on another using my position.


	42. The Power Of Three

"Courage isnt a matter of not being frightened you know, its being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway."  
\--The Third Doctor, Doctor Who

 

_______________________________________________

 

 

Phasma pushed passed the sobbing girl and placed her fingers on the young man's forehead and entered his mind. 

It was somwthing she learned from Metisa, an ancient skill that was not easy to accomplish, but she did.

She only saw darkness in Ben's mind, a surpressing kind that took the air from her lungs.

"Ben!?" She called into the black abyss.

"....Rey?" A soft croak came from the mass.

Phasma pursed her lips and moved towards the sound. She found Ben on his knees shaking in pain, blood dripping from his nose and mouth, soaked in sweat. She let out a breath of relief and made her way through the thick mass towards him, kneeling beside him.

"No. This is her mother. And Ben I'm going to get you out of this, but you need to trust me." She said calmly pulling his hair from his face.

"Rey," He whispered brokenly.

Phasma nodded. 

"Find her Ben. Find her in here. You know she's here. Fight him Ben. Find our Rey." She commanded the shaking child in front of her.

She watched him take a deep shaky breath and close his eyes. Phasma felt a tug to something outside the darkness. She quickly threw up a force sheild around them, stopping him, and pushing the darkness back, letting Ben breathe a little easier.

Phasma placed a hand on Bens shoulder.

"No Ben. You have to find her within. She's here with you. You know that. Find her from within." She coached. 

He nodded and closed his eyes. Phasma watched as Rey slowly materialized beside him, glowing and smiling, clothed in a long flowing dress that shifted from white to black. His necklace was testing gently on her chest.

Ben lifted his head and looked at her, tears escaping his eyes.

"Rey." He rasped.

She smiled sadly, and knelt beside him, tears flowing from her eyes. She coiled her arms around him and pulled him close.

"Don't give up Ben. Please. You promised me. You promised you'd stay with me." She sobbed into his shoulder. 

A grainy voice boomed over them.

"A promise means nothing."

Snoke.

Phasma saw the hatred and anger flash in Reys eyes. She started to get up but Phasma stopped her.

"Stay with him. Convince him. He needs you Rey. Did what I failed to do with my own love."

Rey nodded. She took a deep breath cleared her mind and kept her thoughts focused on Ben. She ran her fingers through his raven hair and rested her forehead to his. If a promise meant nothing, she knew something that meant a lot more. Something for him to hold onto.

"I love you Ben." She whispered. "Please stay with me so I can always love you. We dont have to stay here. Lets run away Ben. Just you and me. Anywhere you want. Just please," Her voice broke. "Ben I need you. Please, please, don't go. Fight it."

His eyes flashed open and bore into hers. They were connected once more. Their bond was no longer shattering. It flowed through them. From one to the other, like a roaring river. Strong and beautiful, yet dangerous and foreboding to anyone who interfered. 

He took her hands and stood with her.

Phasma watched them. Ben's skin seemed to donn the same glow that Reys did, but in a softer, more grey tone, versus her blaring golden one. She watched as the darkness grew less dense and faded back to a comforting dark. The kind that came with a warm summer night. 

Phasma slowly lowered her shield around them, and the scene shifted, it was a night sky above them, with grass under their feet. Ben stood beside Rey, his arm around her, smiling. Reys dress sleeves had blood on them, but it was dried and not much. It must have been from her wiping away the blood from Ben's face.

"Thank you Phasma." Ben said softly. 

She nodded. Ben continued.

"You have earned my gratitude, and have started to gain my trust. What youve done for me, I can not express enough thanks."

He looked down on Rey and smiled pressing his lips to her forehead. He whispered something softly to her, and she nodded. Rey leaned up in her toes and kissed his cheek gently and slowly faded from Ben's mind, leaving them alone.

"You see what were up against." Ben said solemnly, not meeting her eyes. "You have to promise me something Phasma." He looked up at her.

"You have to promise that if it comes down to me or Rey, that you'll take her hand and run."

Phasma nodded.

Ben turned to walk away, but she spoke.

"It wont come down to that Ben. You are both needed to defeat Snoke. That was evident here, and probably has been before. Trust yourself Ben, and trust Rey." 

He nodded and the scene around her faded.

_______________________________________

 

Ben opened his eyes slowly, greeted with a vision of a smiling, worried Rey. 

"Hi there," She whispered, her voice shaky, tears threating to spill.

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it. 

Some things weren't meant to be spoken.

_______________________________________

Gaeli watched as the three of them came back to consciousness, with only a few disturbances from the funny armored, weak willed soldiers, that she took care of easily.

Phasma woke slowly and stood up taking Gaeli by the shoulders, leading her back to her quarters. The Togruta protested but Phasma silenced her.

They needed to be alone.

_______________________________________

 

"Are you okay?" She asked him softly.

He nodded and went to stand but grimaced at the pain in his chest. He took a breath and it felt like inhaling glass.

She gave a small smile and wrapped his arm around her shoulders and helped him stand, supporting him. He was going to protest but talking hurt too much So he let her guide him, but he didnt know where.

_______________________________________

Rey looked into Bens mind and found the map of the cursed ship and located the med bay, and made her way towards it, with him in tow. 

The med droids looked slightly alarmed, if droids could looked alarmed, at the sight of Ben and took him immediately from her grasp. She help into his hand and followed him, until a droid got between them.

"You must have clearance to get past this point." The droid beeped out.

Rey glared daggers at the bot that tried to stop her.

"I Kylo Ren give her clearance. Now fuck off and get the doctor." He hissed, pain raking though his chest, sitting on an exam table.

The droid skittered out of the room and went to where Rey assumed the doctor was. Rey glared at Ben.

"What?" He said slightly annoyed.

"You don't have to be rude to them, their just doing their job." She said calmly.

He scoffed. "Whatever."

Rey sat beside him on the exam table, and swung her legs, that were too short to reach the ground. 

A man rushed into the room and scaled the two of them up and down, before getting to work and typing things into a data pad.

He started to ask Ben questions about his symptoms, so Rey tuned them out closing her eyes and leaning back against the wall. When Ben got a little too irrated with the short stocky man, Rey rubbed his knee to calm him.

The doctor rustled around the room and placed something into Reys hands. It was a bottle of small tablets and a sort of lotion. 

"Make sure he takes these, I've already given him one, but he needs to take them until his respiratory system heals. Keep him hydrated, and use the cream on his chest if he has trouble breathing again." He instructed her.

She nodded and hopped off the table, in which Ben followed suit.

"I can take care of myself." He muttered behind her.

She let out a small chuckle and thanked the doctor before heading out of the med bay.

Again she used the map from Ben's head to get her back to their room. 

Behind the door she let out a sigh of relief and went to the bed and flopped onto it, letting exhaustion take her. Behind her eyelids she felt the room darken and felt a familiar weight beside her. 

His arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. She smiled and pressed her lips to his collarbone and fell into a light sleep. 

Everything could wait until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See look everything is okay.
> 
> Calm down.
> 
> Theyre fine.


	43. It Can Wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute little fluff chapter because I had a really crappy day and needed a little reylo fluff.
> 
> Enjoy.

"Slow down, the world isn't watching us break down  
It's safe to say we are alone now, we're alone now

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me  
I'll give up all I had just to breathe  
The same air as you till the day that I die  
I can't take my eyes off of you"

\--Seconhand Serenade, A Twist in My Story,

 

 

____________________________________________

 

Rey opened her eyes slowly. The room was tinged green, and had a soft glow to it. She frowned, but found the source. On Ben's faux window, was a forest scene that took her breath away. The trees towered and sunlight filtered in through the canopy high above. She could hear the buzz of the wildlife living there, starting their day. She was awestruck by how beautiful it was.

Ben must have changed it before he fell asleep last night. Rey smiled at the thought. 

A rich warm scent filled her senses, drawing her from the gorgeous scenery.

Her eyes tore away from the trees and she noticed that on the small bedside table there were two trays, one with a colorful array of fruits and different proteins, and the other, a bowl of some porridge looking substance. Each had a steaming mug of what smelled like the cinnamon goodness of chav.

Rey cursed herself as she realized how hungry she was. With everything that had happened yesterday, she hasn't eaten, and neither had Ben. She called herself twenty different trypes of stupid for not thinking that he needs to eat more then she did, and more often. She should have been more considerate.

'Stop it,' Ben said sluggishly in her mind, somehow picking up on her self loathing, even through sleep.

She huffed and sat up. On one if the trays there was a note on parchment adressed to her. She picked it up carefully, running her fingers over the course surface of the delicacy. She used her thumb to unfold the note and read it.

  
  


 

_Good Morning,_

_I hope you two slept well,_

_The porridge is for Ben, and the balanced plate for you,_

_The porridge will help with his throat. I found his meds on the bed, I put them on his tray._

_Gaeli informed me of how to make chav the way you both like it._

_Enjoy._

_Phasma_

 

 

Rey was touched, and smiled at the kind gesture. This was the second time this woman had brought her food, and offered her comfort. Rey began to feel pride in her new found mother, and her kindness.

Rey nudged Ben awake, pulling him completely from his sleep, and handed him the note, reaching for the trays.

 

_______________________________________

 

Ben rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair detangling it and moving It away from his face. He sat up before reading the note Rey had handed to him.

He took a deep breath and grimaced at the pain that it caused. The feeling of inhaling glass had faded, but his lungs still burned with every breath, which took more effort to bring in then necessary.

He could feel the worry radiation off of Rey. He gave a small smile.

"I'm fine."

His voice was a lot raspier then he would have liked it to be. Rey grimaced and sighed. He tapped into her mind and saw that she blamed herself for what had happened to him.

"Rey, stop it. It wasnt your fault." He rasped, clearing his throat. He shouldnt have, it hurt like hades.

"Like hell its not." She replied.

Ben pursed his lips and wrapped an arm around her side pulling her closer to him on the bed.

 "Its not your fault Rey. Snoke got a hold of you. It wasnt you Rey. He did this, not you." Ben consoled.

She sighed softly, and he could tell that she wasn't listening. He huffed and rubbed her arm, pressing his lips to the top of her head. 

"Its okay Rey, these things heal."

"But they shouldn't have to! I should have been stronger. I shouldn't have let down my guard. I should have...."

Ben took another deep breath, this time it hurt less than before. Progress.

"Rey, sweetheart, don't blame yourself for not being strong enough. You have to forgive yourself. What happened happened, now we need to learn from it, not regret it." 

Rey grumbled, but she seemed to blame herself a little less, which appeased Ben, for now. Until his stomach growled, and she started the cycle again. It took a lot from Ben not to stop her, but he knew that she needed to eat, and calm down, and sounding like Yoda wasnt going to help either right now.

Rey handed him the tray with the bowl and a mug of chav on it, and took the other for herself. Ben looked at the porridge and felt nostalgic. His mother used to make it for him when he was a boy. It was something they had together on rainy days, when just the two of them were home. She always made it from scratch, and it always made him feel better. He smiled at the bowl, and began eating, letting himself sink into the warm memories, and the wamrness of the porridge.

 

_______________________________________

 

Rey watched as Ben ate, and she followed suit, picking at the proteins and devouring the fruits. She ate quicker than Ben did and set her tray aside, craddling her mug of chav in her hands as she leaned against him, taking in the mixed aromas of the tea and Ben.

She picked up on Ben's signature and felt warmed instantly. He was reminiscing about something, what made him both sad and happy, a memory that had been long burried that was resurfacing for him. 

Rey relaxed and nursed her tea as Ben finished eating, and took another tablet that the doctor had given him. She smiled at his effort. 

"Do you need the lotion?" She asked placing her finshed mug of chav, and his tray back on the bedside table.

He shook his head and Rey looked at him skeptically, but decided to trust him on the matter. 

Rey closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder, as he put his arm around her pulling her closer and moving the blanket up around them. She sighed contentedly and hummed softly. She didnt know what she was humming, but it was a soft melody she vaugly remembered. She could feel Ben's smile as he listen to her, rumbling his own harmony to match with her melody.

They sat there, in bed, in the comfort of each other's arms, relaxing, and hummung away the troubles of the day before.

Training could wait.

Snoke could wait.

The whole galaxy could wait.

It could wait for the two worn souls connecting with another as they slowly healed each others hurts.

 


	44. A Game Plan

 

"The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord."  
\--Proverbs 21:31 NLT

 

____________________________________________

 

 

It was slightly passed midday when Rey and Ben emerged from his room and went to meet with Phasma and Gaeli.

To Gaeli, they both looked better then the night before, both showered and in clean clothes, their hair brushed and tied back.

Ben was no longer in all black, yet a deeper grey that complimented Reys. He looked more at ease beside her. Rey on the other hand looked slightly more anxious than normal, no doubt worrying over what had happened in the last night cycle.

The four sat on the couches that resided in the room that Gaeli and now Phasma were using, and started talking strategy for the upcoming battle. If Snoke was close enough to control both Rey and Ben, they needed to plan for a fight in the next couple days.

"I'd rather be on a battleground that we are farmiliar with, and have the advantage in." Phasma brought up.

"I though he was coming here?" Gaeli raised.

Ben shook his head. "He'll follow Rey and I. He wants us finished. So wherever we go, he will follow." He said solemnly.

"So thats a good thing. We can pick where we want to fight. Like Phasma said." Gaeli concluded.

Ben nodded.

"But where?"

Rey hadn't said a word since her talk with Ben this morning. Her voice came as a small shock to him, and he realized how he missed it, even in the few hours it had been silent.

"Ogegia?" Gaeli suggested.

Both Rey and Ben looked confused.

"The Warrior planet." Gaeli filled in. "Ya know, where you two started this whole thing?"

"Have the battle on Kepler, where Ben is sentenced to death, Gaeli, you're a traitor and also sentenced to death, and I'm pretty sure I have a few accusations over my head too. Great idea." Rey said sarcastically. She looked up at Phasma. "Would you even go back?"

Phasma was silent in thought for a moment.

"Yes, I would. I know the grounds, and from what I've heard from Gaeli, it seemed to surpress the force to keep Snoke out of Ben's mind." She mused.

"That was only in the city," Ben commented.

Phasma nodded.

"But there are other places on Ogegia that have the same abilities. And in any case, I'm willing to do whatever I have to do to protect my family."

But instead of Phasma looking at Rey, like Ben would have thought, she looked at all three of them. As if they all were her family. And maybe they were.

"So we have a place, and a time, or roughly a time. Now how are we gonna get there?" Gaeli asked.

"We could take the _Falcon."_ Ben offered.

Rey looked at him.

"You brought the _Falcon_ here?" She asked with raising alarm.

"Yes? Why, should I not have?"

"Did you disable the tracking beacon?" She asked skeptically.

He rolled his eyes and smiled. "Yes Rey, I did. The Resistance can't find us."

"Thats not who I'm worried about."

"Then who?"

"I'm pretty sure Finn wants your head, and Poe would stop at nothing to get it for him. So..." Rey trailed off.

"Who? What?" Gaeli asked.

Rey realized that she had no idea what was going on, or who her friends were.

"Friends of mine. Sorta. Not like you friend. But acquaintance? Brotherly kind of thing?" Rey said, fumbling for an explanation.

"What's with you and complicated relationships?" Gaeli asked.

"Its new to me okay." Rey huffed and say back.

"Anyways..." Ben started. "No they cant track the ship, and yes, she's a mess."

Rey glared at Ben and he smirked.

Gaeli cracked a grin and Phasma rolled her eyes.

"To get back on track, if were going to take the _Falcon,_ and that's settled, we need to know when here going to leave for Ogegia." Phasma continued.

"We can leave today," Ben said. "It'll take about quarter day to travel back to it at light speed, so we can leave as soon as everyone is ready."

The three girls nodded.

"Who will command the Finalizer?" Phasma asked. "With both you and I gone, it'll be an anarchy."

"Well just have to find something to keep them busy. Im sure you can manage that?" Ben replied.

Phasma nodded.

Rey got up from the couch without another word and went back next door to gather everything she needed for the trip. Extra clothes, some protein portions Gaeli had given her, her saber and cloak. It wasnt much but it was all she had.

 

_______________________________________

 

"Is she okay?" Gaeli asked Ben as soon as Rey left the room.

Ben grimaced and shrugged slightly.

"She hates herself for what happened, and how it harmed me. She wasn't ready for something like that to happen, and I really thing it scared her. She's stubborn, but she's not stupid, she sees how big of a threat Snoke is to her and I and she's afraid of losing me, and more so herself."

Gaeli and Phasma nodded.

Ben sighed and looked at his hands. His lungs had mostly healed, with only slight pain here and there, but nothing he couldn't manage. He stood and headed for the door, but turned around briefly.

"I worry for her. I dragged her into this whole mess and now shes dealing with things she never should of had to." He rubbed his face and squeezed his eyes shut.

There was a pair of arms that slowly wrapped around his shoulders. He opened his eyes and Gaeli was there, hugging him. Not like the ones he and Rey shared, but a one of comfort, and friendship.

"We'll beat Snoke. I promise. Remember, youre not alone anymore Ben. You have me, and Phasma to help you two. It'll all work out. You'll see."

Ben nodded and smiled.

"Thank you Gaeli."

The Togruta nodded and released her embraced and watched as Ben left the room, and began gathering her things for the trip they were about to embark on.

"Someone's going to die." Phasma said softly.

"Dont say that. We'll all make it though." Gaeli encouraged.

Phasma shook her head. "I can feel it. It was the same feeling I have before I lost my Jezikah. Someone's death is certain."

Gaeli nodded.

"I can feel it too."

 

_______________________________________

 

Ben found Rey sitting on the floor staring at the wall to the left, away from the room they were just in.

"Rey?" He asked softly.

She looked up, her big doe eyes rimmed with tears and her lips quivering.

"Oh my little desert star," Ben murmmered softly.

Going over to her he pulled her into his arms, and stroked her hair gently. Rey curled up into his arms and burried her face in his chest and cried softly. Her small frame shook in his arms as he held her tighter. Ben closed his eyes and took a deep breath and rocked her gently, the way his mother did for him when he was afraid. Reys cries died down but Ben continued to rock her, until he saw that she was fast asleep in his arms. He smiled hopelessly at the girl and carefully carried her to the bed and tucked her in before going on to pack for their journey ahead.

It was going to be a long couple of days. As if the past ones werent long enough.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So look progress.
> 
> Still having a crappy week, but I'll get out as much as I can.
> 
> I love you all.
> 
> Enjoy.


	45. The Empty Pilot Seat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Refer back to chapter one.

 

"So we can take the world back from the heart-attacked  
One maniac at a time we will take it back  
You know time crawls on when you’re waiting for the song to start  
So dance along to the beat of your heart

Hey Youngblood doesn’t it feel like our time is running out  
I’m going to change you like a remix  
Then I’ll raise you like a phoenix"

 

\--The Phoenix, Fall Out Boy

 

 

____________________________________________

 

 

Ben went back over to the girls' room to see if they were ready to go.

"Where's Rey?" Gaeli asked.

"Asleep. Im not sure if I should wake her or carry her to the _Falcon."_ Ben replied.

"Wake her, see if she's okay with either." Phasma chimed in.

Ben nodded. "Then we'll head to the _Falcon._ Do you know the way Phasma?"

The General nodded.

"Take care of her Ben." Phasma said softly.

"Always."

And with that Ben left the room to check on his little sleeping desert star.

She was still fast asleep in his massive bed. Sprawled out amongst the pillows and blankets, and yet, she still looked so small compared to the beds massive frame.

Ben went to her side and gently shook her awake.

"Rey," He whispered. "Rey, wake up darling." He urged.

Her eyelids fluttered open and then drifted shut.

"Just a little longer?" She grumbled out.

Ben smiled.

"I'm going to carry you to the _Falcon_ if you don't wake up Rey."

"Sfine. Have fun with that." She mumbled rolling over and hugging a pillow.

He shook his head and chuckled. He slung Reys pack and his own onto his back before clipping his saber to his belt,  and donning his cloak, putting Reys saber over that. He went back to the small girl and scooped her up into his arms and made his way to the _Falcon._

Phamsa and Gaeli were already waiting for him when he arrived.

"Didn't want to get up then?" Gaeli mused gesturing to the girl in his arms.

He shrugged. 

"Cut her some slack, with what Snoke did to her mind and how quickly he did it, in surprised she lasted as long as she did before passing out again. Its extremely taxing." Ben defened.

Gaeli raised her palms in mock surrender. 

"Didn't say it was a bad thing, you guys are just too cute. It makes me sick sometimes." Gaeli teased.

"Is everything here ready to go?" Ben asmed Phasma.

She nodded. "They are aware of the _Falcon_ leaving and that we'll be aboard it."

Ben nodded and allowed Phasma and Gaeli onto the _Falcon_ first, following them. While he was walking up the ramp, Rey stirred in his arms. He was met with a glare from her.

"What?" He asked confused.

"I can walk myself thank you." She replied. 

He gently set her down.

"Youre the one who didn't want to get up." He pointed out.

She huffed and walked away, into the _Falcon._

Ben let his eyes take in the old ship. It had been years since he's been aboard his father's craft. It still looked the same, and had the same metallic and musty smell. It made him sad, seeing it without Han, and Ben longed for just one more adventure with him. Something he could never have, and regretted denying so many times.

 

_______________________________________

 

Rey walked off from Ben and onto the _Falcon,_ slightly humiated about being carried like a small child.

She felt a sudden shift in Ben's signature and again she called herself twenty types of stupid and jogged back to the ramp to help him.

"Ben?" She asked softly.

His eyes met hers. They were sorrowful and longing. Rey gave him a smile and held out her hand.

"Come on, let's go." She encouraged. 

Ben took her hand and let her pull him to the ship, only stopping once to unload their stuff, before making it to the cockpit, where Gaeli and Phasma were sitting chatting.

"How did you find...?" Rey asked.

"Youre really asking how I found the cockpit to one of the most infamous ships in the galaxy?" Phasma countered.

"Good point." Rey said heading for Han's seat. She felt the force restict around her.

"What do you think you're doing?" Ben asked.

Rey broke free of his weak bond and turned to face him.

"Getting ready to pilot the _Falcon._ What are you doing?"

"Wondering why you were going to sit in my seat."

Rey scoffed.

"Your seat?" She challenged.

"The _Falcon_ belongs to me." He said.

"Does _not!"_ Rey argued.

"Does _too._ My father gave it to me when I was 16."

"You weren't even with him when you were 16! It belongs to _me!"_

_"_ Say who?" He countered.

"Um your Uncle Chewbacca maybe?" She glared. 

"Theres no way he just gave you the _Falcon."_ Ben said.

"Well he wouldn't have if you didn't--"

" _Enough!"_ Phasma scolded. "If you two are going to act like children then neither of you will pilot. Gaeli and I will. Is that what you want?"

Ben and Rey grumbled.

"Thats what I thought. Now, Ben, Rey has the most recent experience about how to fly the _Falcon._ I have no doubt your father raised you aboard, but things may have been modified since then."

Rey smirked and crossed her arms, standing smugly. But Phasma wasn't done.

"Rey, child, this ship is just as much his as it is yours. Both Han and Chewbacca owned it, therefore it belongs to both of you, so wipe that smug look off your face and make amends."

Rey huffed and this time Ben had the smirk on his face.

"Fine. I'm sorry." She muttered.

"Now Ben." Phasma said.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Much better!" Phasma exclaimed. "Now, off to Ogegia."

Rey fired up the engines and she and Ben went to work preparing for take off.  When they were a safe distance from the _Finalizer_ Rey plugged in the coordinates she had from before and jumped into light speed.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look she has a co-pilot and everything runs smoothly. 
> 
> Aren't they adorable?
> 
> Anyways, still not having the best of weeks, including the fact that I may have broken my toe by being a total klutz, so I'll get out as much as I can.
> 
> I love you all.
> 
> Thanks for everything.


	46. Girl Talk

 

 

"Stay here with me, and don’t be afraid. I will protect you with my own life, for the same person wants to kill us both.”  
\--1 Samuel 22:23 

 

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

Rey and Ben flew the _Falcon_ in peace, working with another as they phased into hyperspace, falling into such a sync that again it amazed Gaeli. Her hands flipped switches, pressed and turned dials, as Ben did the same, controlling the dash as it if it was the most natural thing in the world, despite the changes in the ship.

Since they had a few hours, about six to Bens calculations, Gaeli left the cockpit and decided to explore the _Falcon._ Phasma had called it 'infamous' and Ben and Rey held it in awe. She didnt know who this Han was, but Gaeli thought he must have some reputation among the stars.

The ship was weird, and nothing like Gaeli had ever seen. It was definitely out of date, really out of date, but something about the ship gave her the feeling that it was so much more then a ship. As if the walls and corridors of this ship had seen so much more then she could have ever dreamed.

Wandering around, she found that the _Falcon_ had the basics of most crafts. Docking ports, a few holds, crew quarters, maintenance and circuitry bays and access. Despite its unusual design, they _Falcon_ had a good flow to it. Gaeli found it endearing.

Seeing Ben and Reys things on two bunks in the crew quarters, Gaeli decided to claim her own by placing her own bag on a bunk. She doubted she'd get a wink of sleep but at least it made her feel a little more at home.

She heard a knock on the wall outside the 'room.' It was Rey.

"You okay?" She asked entering.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good." Gaeli said nodding her head and giving a smile. "But, uh, shouldn't you be, ya know, flying this thing?" Gaeli asked.

Rey laughed. It was something Gaeli hadnt heard in a while and it comforted her.

"No, were in hyperspace and there's not much to do. Ben's up there making sure nothing goes wrong, but it doesn't require constant supervision."

Gaeli made an ackowleding sound. Rey sat on a bunk, with what Gaeli assumed was her stuff and laid back sighing and rubbing her face.

Gaeli sat beside her and rubbed her leg soothingly.

"How ya holdin up?" Gaeli asked.

She hadn't yet gotten the opportunity to talk to her friend about what had happened. Sure, she heard second-hand from Ben, but she wanted to hear it from Rey, and thought that Ben coddled her too much.

"Im fine." Rey said staring up at the bunk above her.

Gaeli snorted. "No youre not. You're a terrible liar Rey."

Rey sat up and narrowed her eyes at Gaeli.

"Am not." She argued.

"Yes you are, but thats not the point." Gaeli said. "How are you Rey? Really, no sparing feelings, no worrying about upsetting Ben or Phasma; how are you really Rey?"

Gaeli's green eyes pierced Reys as she provoked Reys thoughts. Rey sighed amd looked down at her hands.

"I'm terrified. I know were supposed to do this amazing thing and kill Snoke, so I can set Ben free from him, and I want that. I really do. I want Ben safe, and free, so he can do what he wants on his own accord but..."

"You're afraid he might leave after." Gaeli peiced together.

Rey nodded.

"I know he says he'll stay, and I know we have a bond that runs deep, but he can leave anytime. He can just walk out."

"You trust him don't you?" Gaeli asked.

Rey sighed and groaned flopping back onto the bed. 

"Of course I do. I do trust him. But I dont want to be stupid and get my hopes up if he's just gonna leave me. It seems everyone has, so what makes him different?" 

Gaeli gave a small smile. She could understand where Rey was coming from. Between her mother leaving her and her journey with Ben, Gaeli could only imagine how hesitant Rey was about believing someone would stay with her.

"I cant really tell you Rey. Its something you'll have to figure out on your own. I'm sure it'll take time to begin to biuld that trust but hey," Gaeli rested a hand on Reys shoulder. "Even if he does leave, and force forbid he does, because I will hunt him down and..." She cleared her throat. "No matter what happens Rey I'll always be here, and you'll always have a friend in me."

Rey smiled amd wrapped her arms around her friend.

"Thank you Gaeli. It means so much more then you know."

Gaeli returned the hug.

"Anytime."

There was another knock on the wall of the quarters. This time it was Phasma.

"Everything okay in here?" She asked.

Rey and Gaeli pulled away from their hug and nodded.

"Just a little girl talk." Gaeli said smiling.

Phasma looked at the two girls and smiled.

"That's good. Just came to say we'll be docking soon to refuel and gather supplies. So if you need to do amything before we disembark I suggest you do it now."

Rey and Gaeli nodded, as Phasma headed back to what Gaeli assumed was the cockpit. Rey didn't go to do anything, except she took the tie out of her hair and began combing through it with her fingers letting it fall to her shoulders. Her hair came a few inches past her shoulders and fell around, and framed her face. She sighed and took a breath collecting herself.

"Guess I should see where were stopping at." She said getting up.

Gaeli nodded and smiled.

"And Rey," She started. "If you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask. Its not the end of the world to ask for help ya know."

Rey flashed a smile and nodded.

"I've never really had anyone to ask for help from before, but thanks. I'll remember that." She turned to leave but paused. "And thanks Gaeli, for being here, and caring about me. I know I kinda dragged you into this, but thanks."

Gaeli smiled.

"What are friends for?"

_______________________________________

 

_'_ _Yes, what are friends for indeed,'_ Snoke mused as he switched back on the tracker and sent a distress signal to the Resistance.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Gaeli is needed, and Rey has someone ither then Ben to vent to. Because you cant really vent about someone to that someone.
> 
> Theres more to life then boys ladies. Don't neglect your friends for a guy. Truth is they were probably there before he was.
> 
> Also snokes meddling is going to cause some trouble for my kids.
> 
> Are you ready for it?
> 
> Anyways. Thank you for all of your support. I know the last few chapter werent much but I'm going through some stuff and its hard to write, but I don't want go let y'all down, so I give what I've got.
> 
> I love you guys and all of your support, never stop, it motivates me.
> 
> And my little fix has over 1200 people reading it. Which is insane to me. So thank you thank you.


	47. A Call

 

 

 

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."

\--Winston Churchill

 

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

When Rey returned to the cockpit she saw Ben in Hans seat. She wanted to say something, but didn't. It was just a seat after all, and he had volunteered to man the ship while in hyperspace, so she guessed she could give him this. She took the seat next to him and switched on the co-pilots controls.

She was so focused on what she was doing -tweaking out of placed gears and switches, fixing the dash up slightly- she didn't notice Ben's hand reach over and take hers, until she needed it and it wouldnt come to her call. She looked up at him.

His face was worn and sad, his eyes longing and more tired then she had ever seen. Her expression softened and she intertwined her fingers with his.

"Whats wrong Ben?" She asked gently. 

"This will be the first time I... Since..." He started, his deep voice filled with uncertainty.

Rey smiled and stroked his cheek.

"We'll be together Ben. You won't be alone. I wont let anything happen to you." She consoled.

He chuckled softly. Something she said seemed to have lifted his mood.

"What?" Rey demanded.

"What all 5'7" of you?" He stated. "Hate to break it to you but you're not very intimidating sweetheart."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm may not be big, but I am dangerous. And dont you 'sweetheart' me."

"Oh yes, ever so dangerous _sweetheart_." Ben chuckled out, rolling his eyes.

She huffed and sat back in the seat folding her arms. Ben only laughed more and turned back to the console. His expression became somber once more.

"Were docking in Takodana." Ben said solemnly after a few minutes.

Rey frowned.

"What? No. We can't. Ben you can't go there. Maz will literally have your head. What- why would we- _Ben!?"_ Rey fumed stumbling over her words.

"I know." He said harshly, gritting his teeth. "But its our best bet. It has a fueling station now, and is right on the way to Kepler."

Rey nodded and Ben took a deep breath relaxing slightly, before letting his breath out as a sigh.

"Now I see why you're worried. You destroyed the place last time." She mumbled.

Ben gave a small grimace.

"Oh force, sorry that was a little tactless." Rey said quickly.

"Its alright." He said taking in a breath. "I have to face what I've done."

Rey nodded and placed a hand on Ben's shoulder.

"Ill be right there with you." 

He said nothing but gave a small nod in acknowledgment.

"Uh, hey, Rey!?" Gaeli called from somewhere in the ship.

"Yeah!?" She called back.

"Do you know some chick named Leia!? She's asking for you on the comm."

Reys eyes widened as they met Ben's.

"Uh... Yeah... Just... Tell her I'll be right there!" She said getting up.

"Rey..." Ben warned.

She nodded.

"I'll keep guard. It'll be okay. I'll be back soon." She promised.

"I love you," Ben said looking up worried at her.

She gave him a smile. "I love you too Ben."

"Rey!" Gaeli called.

"Coming!"

Rey left the cockpit jogging through the ship finding Gaeli in the main hold, in front of the monitors.

" _Rey how lovely to see you again."_ Said General Organa though one of the monitors, as soon as Rey came into view.

Rey took a seat beside Gaeli- who moved and sat back on the booth around the small table- and smiled at the General. She looked the same, yet older, and wiser. Still commanding, and stern, yet motherly.

 "Nice to see you too General." Rey responded carefully.

_"Is everything alright child?"_ She asked, worry lines etching into her delicate skin.

 "Everything is fine Organa, why?"

" _We recived a distress signal from your ship Rey. We didnt know what was going on. You kinda dropped off all our radars, then came back with a distress signal? What's happening Rey?"_

Rey could feel Ben's presence in her mind, monitoring the situation. She didn't really know what to say, or who had sent the signal, but everything seemed okay.

"Everything is okay General. I'm not sure how the distress call was sent, but everything is fine. Just stopping to refuel, and heading back to a planet I was on earlier and enjoyed, and now I'm heading back."

It wasn't a total lie. But it wasn't completely the truth either.

_"I see. It says you're near Takondana. Maybe we should meet there and catch up. Its been a while Rey."_

Reys heart rate quickened. She called to Ben for help on what to do, but he remained silent in her mind.

"Don't you have things to do?" Rey quickly asked, trying to avert the situation.

_"Nothing I can't tell someone else to do. Besides, Finn and BB-8 really miss you and would love to see you again."_ She insisted.

"Uh, I don't know General," Rey said, searching for any reason but the obvious to deny her request.

Leia gave a sad smile and asked again.

" _Are you sure everything is okay there Rey?"_

Rey heard a creak in the old metal of the ship, and saw Ben standing at the entrance to the hold, just out of sight of the monitor. He nodded to her. She looked at him skeptically and and gave a nod.

'Its time to face what I've done.' He said softly in her mind.

Rey turned back to the General.

"Is anyone with you Leia? Is this call secure?" She asked.

Ben might want to do this, but Rey was going to make sure he was safe first.

" _Yes child, why?"_ Leia asked, the worry lines carving deeper into her face.

Rey closed her eyes a took a deep breath.

"Because there's someone here who wants to talk to you."

Ben took a step toward Rey, completely rigid as he came into view of his mother.

_"Ben,"_ Leia whispered.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *laughs maniacally*
> 
> So snokes plan backfired a little bit didnt it? Seems like all of his plans are. 
> 
> I promise the big show down is coming, and I have it written, there are just some things i want them to do before they meet their fates.
> 
> Also. Hi. How are you? Hows school? Are you drinking enough water? Have you eaten at least twice today? 
> 
> If not, as your mother, I'm telling you to go do that.
> 
> I love you all and care about each of you. 
> 
> Keep up with the kudos and comments. They mean the world to me.


	48. A Step In Some Direction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in updates. I kinda got really busy without planning it. So enjoy an extra long chapter of my kids.

 

"Fools make fun of guilt, but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation."

\--Proverbs 14:9 NLT

 

 

_______________________________________

 

 

Ben gave a quick smile and sat down beside Rey, in the chair that Gaeli was in before.

"Hello mother." He said calmly to the monitor.

Rey took his hand and rubbed little circles on the back with her thumb as she observed the situation. Leia looked between the two of them, assessing the situation.

 _"Is it you? Is it my Ben?"_ Leia smashed fidgeting with her hands.

Ben pursed his lips and Rey worried her lip with her teeth. After a few tense moments Ben spoke.

"The Ben you knew is gone." He paused. "But I am more of him then I have been in a while."

He glanced down. Rey spoke up.

"What he's been through, what we've been through, is a lot to explain, General Organa." She said, unsure of her voice.

Leia nodded. 

" _I see. Perhaps we should meet on Takondana and talk."_ She offered.

Ben grimaced slightly and Rey rubbed his leg.

"We really have to be somewhere soon General, were only stopping in Takondana to refuel. It wouldnt be beneficial for anyone to delay." Rey informed.

Leia was quiet for a minute then nodded, as if she knew what was going to happen.

 _"I understand. Well, then thank you Rey, for being with him, and helping my son."_ She said with a smile. _"And Ben,"_ He looked up at her. _"I hope to see you again soon_ _. Keep her safe. And remember you will always be my son."_

Ben gave a small nod as silent tears slid down his statue still face. Rey smiled at the general. Rey went up to reach for the dissconect button.

" _And one more thing."_

They both looked up at the smiling woman, with tear trails down her cheeks.

" _May the force be with you both."_

The line disconnected.

Ben didnt move. He just stared at the blank screen, tears streamed down like silent streams, weeping for the taste of reconciliation it had encountered. Rey decided to leave him be and placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head and walked out of the hold, back to the cockpit to land the _Falcon._

Gaeli followed her and sat beside her in Ben's spot and helped Rey prepare for the landing.

 

·····

 

Rey landed the _Falcon_ without any trouble, turning the ignition off she set off to find her things and prepare for disembarking. Rey found Ben in the crews quarters sitting on her bunk. His hair was down in gentle waves that framed the pale skin of his face. Ben had on his cloak and small satchel, with his saber clipped to his belt. He was ready to go.

She sat beside him and leaned slightly against him. 

"You don't have to go you know." Rey offered softly.

Ben smiled and ran his fingers through his hair, sighing.

"I know. But something really big is about to happen and if I don't..." He sighed again. "If I don't at least try to make amends what good is any of this?"

Rey let her fingers replace Bens in his hair and massaged them in softly. She could feel him relax at her touch.

"You being who you want to be, who you are, or were, or are trying to find out, is so much more then worth it Ben." She looked at at him, his big brown eyes looked at her longing, so she continued. 

"If you want to make amends that is more then okay too. If it's what you want to do. Never because you feel like you have to. Ben, this is figuring out who you are, and who we are together."

Rey placed and soft kiss on Ben's cheek.

"You don't have to prove anything to anyone. Not to me, not to Leia, or Maz, or anyone. This is about you. So don't feel obligated to come. Its refueling, I'm sure the three of us can handle it. Don't push yourself. You've had a lot to deal with today already."

He nodded, Rey stood and gathered her things and stroked Bens cheek softly. His hand came up and held hers as Rey slowly brushed away stray tears.

"We'll be back in maybe twenty minutes. Get some rest. I love you Ben." Rey said as she walked to the door out of the quarters.

She also invited Ben into her mind, to see whar she saw, so even though he wouldnt be there physically, he could watch over her.

 

_______________________________________

 

Phasma heard the whole conversation between Rey and Ben, and also the one before of the couple and General Organa.  Her heart ached for Ben. The poor child was so confused and lost on what to do. But then Rey came, and though it wasn't much, she was a light to him. She didn't tell him where to go, or which path was best, but even in a storm, a lantern is always a comfort. And Rey was his lantern. She gave him light to see again. To see his hands and feet in front of him. To see who he was.

Phasma couldnt have been prouder of her daughter. Even if she had failed Rey, the young woman her daughter had become was astonishing.

She walked behind Gaeli and Rey as they payed for the fuel and got it hooked into the ancient ship. It took some time with the new tech out with fueling, and the age of the _Falcon,_ but it worked out in the end.

They did have about twenty minuted to spare, and Gaeli wanted to see the glory of Tankondana, so they spent the time looking at the new market and all of the booths they had. Rey purchased a some things from a few booths, and put them into her bag, but Phamsa was too far away to see what they were.

Their twenty minutes came and passed, and after a few farewells, they were aboard the _Falcon_ and on their way to seal their fates.

Rey said that she and Ben would fly the _Falcon_ and that the two warriors could rest, but Rey looked dead on her feet, and sleep only brought Phasma dreams she didnt want to see.

They were of blood and darkness. Of a fallen sister who turned into a monster. Of a Teacher who called and welcomed her back home with open arms. Of a creature so dark and evil it made her Rey fade from existence, over and over.

 And so Phasma would avoide sleep, and would take over the  _Falcon,_ while her daughter and Ben slept. Flying never bothered her, and how she wished to see her home once more.

 

_______________________________________

 

While on Takondana Rey could barely take her mind away from thinking about running into Maz. That would surely raise some trouble.

Yet it never happened.

Rey suspected that there had been contact between Leia and the odd older woman, but decided not to question it and just thank her lucky stars.

Of course every time she bought something in the market, she used her own credits. Ben would yell at her in the mindscape, saying he had more then enough to cover what she wanted to buy. But Rey had her own credits, and could pay for things herself, which Ben sulked at, but Rey did it anyways.

She bought some authentic chav tea, for both her and Ben, a needle and some thread for the holes that were already forming in some of her clothes, to which Ben complained and insisted he just buy her new ones, to which she denied. Rey also found an old pin that had an unfamiliar symbol on it, et it looked like something she was supposed to know. The seller said it was ancient and found in the remains of what was left of some planet named Alderaan. Rey was drawn to the pin, and for the few credits it was worth, she bought it and shoved it in her bag among the other things.

Getting back on the _Falcon_ Rey headed for the cockpit to resume their journey, Ben was sitting in Han's seat, and deciding that he's had enough today she didn't fight it. Ben pursed his lips when he saw her, so she gave him a big smile, like she got away with something. And she did.

"You're not going out alone again." He said sternly.

"You can't make me." She argued.

"Watch me."

"You'll watch me... Go out alone, without you." She smirked.

Ben huffed and Rey sat beside him, giving a small laugh.

"I can take care of myself Ben. I'm a grown woman. I can go out alone." She said softer.

"Doesn't mean I want you to." He muttered.

She laughed.

"Okay next time I'll let you come. Maybe." She said giving him a smile.

He just grumbled so Rey reached out and ruffled his hair, mussing it.

"Wanna see what I got?"

"I did." He grumbled.

"Yeah but not in person." She said.

He rolled his eyes and held out his hands. She placed the bag in them and watched as he took the three things she bought at the market in his lap.

He ran his fingers over the pin delicately.

"Leave it to you to find the symbol of the Grey Jedi." He muttered.

"Is that what that is?" She asked curiously looking at it in his hands.

Ben nodded and placed it on the dashboard.

"Don't know how you found it, but you did." He said marveling at it, his voice slightly monotone. Ben sounded exhausted and it worried her.

Rey was relieved when Phasma and Gaeli walked in and demanded for them to rest while they covered the rest of the journey. 

"We can handle a few hours in hyperspace, and Phasma is the only one who knows where to land of the planet, so no arguing." Gaeli said sternly.

Rey wanted to argue. The fire in her wanted to say that this was her ship and she was going to fly it, but with one glace at Ben she backed down. He needed rest and there was no way he was going to sleep if she didnt too. He was stubborn like that. 

So Rey gave in and decided that a few hours of sleep could only help.

 

_______________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I may realize that using quotations from the bible may be off putting but I promise that it is from a literary standpoint. All good writings model off of something. I would never try to force anything on you. Theyre just here to show the parallels between the texts. All good writers should be able to pick up on their own parallelism. 
> 
> I do apologize if it upsets you, but its not for personal gain.
> 
> I love you all.


	49. The Calm Before A Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some cute fluff and easy going scenes.
> 
> My kids need a break before they get torn apart.

 

 

"In the middle of the night  
When I'm in this dream  
It's like a million little stars  
Spelling out your name  
You gotta come on,  
Say that we'll be together  
Come on, come on  
  
In the middle of the night  
Waking from this dream  
I wanna feel you by my side  
Standing next to me  
You gotta come on,   
Say that we'll be together  
Come on, come on  
Little taste of Heaven"

\--Untouchable, Taylor Swift

 

 

 

 

______________________________________

 

 

 

Ben was alone on the beach in the mindscape this time.

Or without Rey.

Another precense lingered in his mind. One he knew well. One that didnt alarm him one bit.

The waves gently lapped at his feet as a storm brewed over the ocean in front of him. Dark clouds rumbled and raged, getting closer and closer. Yet the beach was calm. Serene. The calm before a storm.

"You know what's coming." He stated simply to her. 

Leia nodded and sat beside him on the wake.

"It seems the Force is at war with itself." She said gently admiring the growing tempest.

"Or that its users are at war with another." Ben pointed out.

"I would think not, since you and Rey have finally seemed to balance each other out." Leia said with a smile. "It took you two long enough."

Ben rolled his eyes and cracked a smile.

"You really think we were made for each other?" He asked.

Leia shrugged and looked out at the dark clouds swirling in the sky.

"The Force is tricky. It likes to be balanced. It wants to be balanced. And it does what it can to achieve that." She said sadly.

Ben frowned, but she continued.

"Now that you and Rey have seemed to learn to coexist in peace with your contrasting uses of the Force, the Force is upset, because of the imbalance of power elsewhere."

"Snoke." Ben said solemnly. 

Leia nodded and stood.

"I understand what you must do my son. I wish you the best of luck. Im so proud of everything you've learned and of who you are." Leia started walking down the beach. "And may the force be with you."

 

·····

 

Ben woke up gently, his eyes opening slowly and eased into consciousness. He heard Reys soft snores from above him, and could only imagine what she was dreaming of.

Feeling more rested than he had been in a while, Ben rose and pulled his hair back into a tie, and took Reys newly bought tea and began making it for them.

He found Gaeli in the main hold, chopping up fruit, and saw that she had set out plates with an array of food on them.

"I figured we all needed some good food." She said when she saw him standing and staring.

"Should I go wake Rey up?" He asked. He didn't really know if Rey needed sleep more or or food. 

Gaeli nodded.

"The girl can sleep later, she needs to eat."

Ben gave a small nod of agreeance and went to wake up his slumbering desert star.

 

_______________________________________

 

 

Gaeli has picked up a few things of her own at the market. Mostly healthy food that would help sustain and strengthen her family. Protien packs would only do so much.

So when Phasma said that she could handle the controls for a little while, Gaeli made herself busy with dinner.

She knew that the call with 'General Leia Organa' - whoever that was - had taken a toll on Ben, which in turn took a toll on Rey. It was great that they got along and fit together, but there were some draw backs with their bond. 

Ben came back with a groggy looking Rey, and a concerned Phasma behind them. Rey perked up when she saw the food and smelled the tea that Ben had made. The termination of her sleep had no longer seemed important. Rey was hungry.

They sat together, Ben, Rey, Gaeli, Phasma, and ate the meal she prepared.

It was some native bird that was freshly cooked in the market, a rather weird looking vegetable, that tasted decent, and of course, fruit for Rey.

They all ate in silence. There wasnt much to say. Enjoying another company was enough. 

They were a family. Not all families had to talk to communicate with another.

 

_______________________________________

 

Dinner had come to past and Rey was feeling sleepy again. Ben explained that there was a sort of chemical in the meat that made her tired again, and when she asked how that was allowed, he told her it was a natural occurring chemical, along with a laugh.

Phasma excused herself from the small round table and headed back to the cockpit, claiming they would be at Ogegia soon. The other three followed, Gaeli accompanied Phasma in the co-pilots seat, and Ben and Rey in the chairs behind.

Once again Kepler - Ogegia - took Reys breath away. The green lush planet sparkled as night was cast over it. She didn't know where the lights came from though, as there were little to no buildings with electricity on the planet.

"They're beacons. Set up by the Teacher, to guide all of the lost home. They all look different to each person, and what they see is never the same in two people." Phasma explained, guessing Reys thoughts.

'What do they look like to you?' She asked Ben through their bond.

'Like a million little shining stars.' His cheeked flushed slightly. 'They spell out your name in almost every language I know.'

Rey felt her cheeks grow warm at what he said. She smiled and took his hand as they watched the planwt draw closer, and as Phasma prepared to land the _Falcon._ If Rey hadnt been so mesmerized by the glittering planet, she would have fretted about the landing. She also suspected that Ben was sending her calming waves through their bond, to keep her off edge.

She had nothing to worry about though. Her mother landed the _Falcon_ without any difficulty. They were perched on a cliff side, midway up the sloping mountains. The veiw astonished Rey, and she could read that it amazed Ben as well by the way his force signature read.

Gaelis gentle voice broke their trance.

"We'll stay inside until morning. It'll get cold up at this high altitude, so Rey, make sure you keep warm, Ben keep her warm." She said craking a smile.

Rey rolled her eyes and they both smiled.

"Is there anyway for us to know when Snoke will be here?" Phasma asked.

Rey looked to Ben, who shook his head.

"I can hardly feel him in my mind anymore. As if he has withdrawn completely. Which worries me more than not. I'm afraid if I reach out to him, I won't be so... sound of mind." He sighed. "I can always try-"

"No." Rey said stubbornly. "I won't let you put yourself through that. You have freedom right now Ben, I don't want you to lose it." She said with a gentler tone.

Both Phasma and Gaeli nodded.

"She's right. Ben thank you, but we can wait it out." Phasma said. "For now, lets all get some rest, and wait for the morning."

 

·····

 

Back in her bunk Rey shivered and pulled the thin blanket closer, and burrowed under her cloak. Her fingers were frozen, as were her toes, and she couldnt feel her nose.

Apparently Ben could feel it too because he got up from his bunk below her and gently scooped her out of it and placed her on his own before laying back down beside her and pulling her close. Other than being slightly disgruntled about being moved like a small child - which she was not, thank you - Rey welcomed his warmth. He was like a furnace, but never used a blanket, instead, he tucked his around her, along with her own blanket and her cloak. Rey pressed her cold toes to his leg, and her fingers to his bare chest. He rolled his eyes and pulled her closer gently stroking her hair. The bunk was clearly not made for two people, would it only made them press closer. Rey found herself warm in a matter of minutes and slowly relaxed into a calm slumber. 

If this is what waiting entailed,

Rey could wait a lifetime.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys. 
> 
> Stay warm.
> 
> No getting sick.
> 
> Extra jackets and rest never hurt anyone.


	50. A Prophecy and A Prodigal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry for the miss in daily posting but this one is super long and great. 
> 
> Enjoy and I love you.

 

 

 

"And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’"  
\--Luke 15:23-24

 

 

____________________________________________

 

 

Rey woke up cold. She peeled her eyes open and saw why.

Ben wasnt there in the bed with her.

Rey frowned and looked in her bunk above, thinking maybe he had moved up there for more room, but he wasn't to be found.

Gaeli and Phasma were sleepikg soundly on the adjoining bunks across the room, but still no sign Ben. She got worried.

Why didnt she notice when he left? Why didnt he tell her? Why couldn't she sense if something wrong?

As these questions boiled in her mind, she tugged on her shoes and donned her cloak and went to find where her Ben had run off to.

After about ten minutes of thoroughly searching the _Falcon,_ Rey saw no sign of Ben.

Where did he go? How far was he? What was he doing? Did he leave us? Did he leave her again?

Fear froze Reys heart.

He left her...

Again.

He was gone.

Rey squeezed her eyes shut and balled her hands into fists to stop them from shaking. She didn't know what to feel. She was upset. Obviously, but whether to feel sad or angry, she just didnt know. Her mind shut down.

He left her.

He left her again.

And again.

And again.

She sank to the cold floor and curled up in a ball. The thought played on repeat like a broken record.

 

 

_______________________________________

 

 

Ben had woken up earlier that night from a nightmare. The ones he used to have under Snokes control, but this ine scarred him more than any of the other ones before.

It was about Rey.

His Rey.

The things Snoke had him do to her. The screams, the pleas, the pure agony on her face and transferred through their bond, it was crippling. He couldn't stop himself from torturing her. He wanted to. So desperately, but he couldn't.

He couldn't...

And then he saw Rey there, in his arms curled up pressed against him snoring softly and dreaming, he could barely look at her. He quickly threw up his mental walls to keep her away from the horrors of his dreams and got out of bed as quickly as he could. He didnt want to be near her. If he was near her, he could hurt her.

He couldn't...

Ben quickly gathered his saber and cloak and stormed out of the room and out of the ship. He needed to let off steam and he didn't want to damage the ship. Mkst of all he didn't want to hurt Rey if she came too close.

He stormed out of the _Falcon_ and ignited his saber, the angry red blade casting a meanicing light onto the dark forest ahead of him. Ben closed his eyes and twirled his saber falling into his routines moving faster and faster, until he came up onto the tree line. He growled and began slicing through tree limbs and rocks, the feeling of splitting these things made him feel better.

In control.

He would have kept going, but something nagged at him. It was small and barely noticeable, but it was ever present. Ben panicked and quickly threw down his mental walls, and waves of sadness and betrayal crashed on him.

They were from Rey.

She had woken up and found him missing.

_"Fuck."_ He muttered.

Ben took off, back towards the _Falcon,_ thumbing off his saber and dropping it. He could find it later. Rey needed him _._ The whole way back he called and screamed her name to let her know he was coming for her. And he was.

He hadnt realized how far he had strayed from the ship, until he was sprinting through half a mile of greenery. Panting, Ben rushed up the stairs and found Rey curled up on the floor staring at nothing.

He let out a string of curses and knelt down in front of her.

"Rey?" He asked running his hands over her cheeks and hair. She didn't respond, she kept staring at nothing.

He groaned and cupped her face in his hands forcing her to look at him.

"I'm here. I'm here Rey. I didnt leave. I'm sorry. _Rey."_ He pleaded.

She blinked slowly and reached up and stroked his face carefully with her frozen fingers. She smiled lazily and kept staring into space, running her fingers over his scar.

"My Ben had a scar like this." She said softly. "I gave it to him. Back when I didnt want to admit I loved him. I was too angry at him because he had just killed his father. But he still pursued me. Wanted to teach me the ways of the force. I wanted to say yes. Maybe if I had, he wouldnt have left me." She whispered, tears streaming down her face.

Ben stared at her. He had no idea what to do. Rey didnt see him. She didn't know who he was. She thought he was gone. Bens eyebrows furrowed as he thought.

"Rey," He asked softly.

"Mhmm." She hummed.

"Tell me more about m- him. Tell me more about Ben. Everything you remember. Please Rey. Remember."

Rey blinked slowly and smiled sadly.

"He was always so tall. And his hair always did this wooshy thing when he walked." She let out a small giggle. "He was always so dramatic, always with that damn mask and his cloak; always destroying things when he got mad. And the temper he had. It was so fun to see how far I could string him along until he lost it." Her smile died down. "He never lost his temper with me though. He was always so gentle, and caring. As if he was afriad he'd break me if he touched me the wrong way." She looked down at her lap and ran her fingers over the rock sitting on her chest. "He was selfless when it came to me. He always put his needs behind mine. He would never purposely hurt me. He loves me."

She looked up me him. There were tears streaming down his face, as it twisted in sorrow. Rey gently reached out and wiped away the trails and blinked.

" _You_ love me." She whispered.

He nodded and pressed his lips to her hand.

" _Ben?"_ She asked.

He gave a weak smile and nodded.

"I'm here. I'm here, Rey." He whispered shakily.

"Youre here." She echoed.

He gathered her in his arms and pulled her close, encasing her in a hug.

"I'm so sorry Rey. I didnt mean to leave. I was afraid. I didnt want to hurt you. _I'm so sorry."_

He felt her fingers curl into his hair as she pulled him closer.

"You cant do that Ben. _Please._ Talk to me. Come to me. Were in this together Ben. Please. Trust me." She whispered into his ear.

He nodded and squeezed her closer.

"I promise." He whispered back.

 

 

_______________________________________

 

 

Phasma found Ben and Rey curled up on the floor of the _Falcon_ when she woke in the morning. They were huddled together, Ben holding Rey like she might disappear, and Rey likewise. Phasma sighed softly and grabbed a blanket from her own bunk and drapped it around them.

What was she going to do with them?

Phasma woke Gaeli gently and informed her of the sleeping two out in the hall, and that she was going out to find some food for breakfast. The warrior nodded and rolled back over, falling back asleep.

The sun was just rising and it painted the sky a plethora of deep and rich colors. A sadness came over Phasma, as she realized how much she missed her home. Making her way out into the forest, she noticed the saber marks going about half a mile into the woods and began to question what had gone on the night before. She noticed Ben's saber on the ground, as if it had been discarded and maybe it had, so she picked it up, shoving it into her bag, and continues onward to find food.

It had been a while, a long while, since shes had to do this, but finding the wildlife that inhabited Ogegia was always everywhere, and plentiful. Phasma closed her eyes and became in tuned with the world around her. She used the force to sense every creature, every rustle of budding leaves, every drip of moister that formed and fell from the greenest leaf onto the soft brown forest ground.

She kept her eyes closed and raised her blaster. She felt the gentle steps of a Plain Goat, padding through the forest. Keeping her eyes closed she centered in on the herbivore, and took her shot.

" _Well done, my daughter."_

Phasma turned around and her sights were filled with her old teacher. She looked much older, more worn, as if she was dying. But she couldn't. She was forever, Phasma thought. Her long deep green robes hung loosely from her frame, making her look sickly, but she still had that look and feel of power about her. Phasma bowed her head in respect and holstered her blaster.

"Thank you." She said and walked off to find her kill.

Metisa followed her, making no sound, but following, and watching.

" _So you've come home at last my child."_ Metisa asked softly.

Phasma turned and looked at her old master and shook her head.

"I didnt come home. My home here was destroyed long ago. I've found a new one, and its not this planet. The only reason I'm back is because my family, _my daughter,_ needs me, here. So I came back. For them. Not you. Not... Not my sister." Phasma looked at the ground and sighed. She looked back up at Metisa who was smiling proudly at h 

" _I'm proud of you. Youve learned what I could never teach you. Something I wish your sister would have learned."_

Phasma gave a small smile.

"Thank you, now if you'll excuse me I have a family to provide for and feed."

" _Would you mind if I joined my child?"_ Metisa asked.

Phasma nodded.

"Of course."

Phasma found her kill and began skinning and cleaning it. It was an old-fashioned approach to hunting, but she enjoyed the skill of it. It was calming and it kept her mind busy.

Making her way back to the _Falcon,_ when she approached, Phasma saw Ben and Rey sitting out on the lawn, outside the _Falcon._ There was a rock levitating between them. Gaeli was walking around them, coaching them.

"Forget about everything. Clear your minds. Nothing matters but keeping that rock up. Centered. Push it towards another. Keep it centered. This is about balance." She spoke circling them.

The pair kept their eyes closed as Phasma and Metisa approached. Ben must have heard them because he lost focus and the force Rey was pushing on the rock propelled it to hit him in the face. Reys eyes snapped open and she looked shocked.

Gaeli started laughing and Phasma let out her own laugh. Rey turned a deep shade of red, as Ben rubbed his forehead as he chuckled.

"Guess I should have seen that coming."

_"It just goes to show how important complete focus is."_ Metisa spoke softly.

Gaeli, noticing her knelt immediately, bowing her head.

"Teacher," She said softly.

" _Rise my dear Gaeli. There is no need. We are all equals here."_ Metisa said smiling. " _I am quite impressed with your teaching though."_

"Thank you." Gaeli said rising.

Ben stood and helped Rey up and went to stand beside Gaeli, keeping Rey slightly behind him. Metisas gaze fell on him.

" _You don't trust me young Solo."_ She pointed out.

Ben shrugged.

"Your followers did try to kill us last time we were here." He said raising his eyebrows.

Metisa let out a soft laugh, it sounded like a bubbling brook.

" _Fair enough, but look around you. You've made communion with my true followers. Those who've tried to pursue you, they have...strayed from my teachings."_

This time Rey spoke.

"Strayed? _Strayed!?_ You call killing him for being a male _straying!? Really!?"_ She seethed.

Metisa kept calm and looked slightly amused.

" _Ah, the little spitfire. Ive heard much about you young Rey."_

"Don't call me _young."_ She gritted out.

She took a step in front of Ben tensing for a fight with the woman. Ben held her shoulders and pulled her back, whispering something softly in her ear. Whatever he said seemed to pacify her as she stood down, folding her arms, glaring. Ben rubbed her arms and pulled her back protectively.

"Gaeli will yous start a fire and get the things ready to prepare a plain goat. Rey, get Ben something for his oncoming headache."

They did as they were told as Metisa watched. The Teacher was impressed at the cohesion the small group had, at what Phasma had found.

Her prodigal daughter had come home.

 

 

_______________________________________

 

 

_'You wont take them from me.'_ Snoke hissed to Metisa.

They stood in the mindscape, in a dark cave that held no light or dark side. They spoke like old friends, yet Snoke stalked her as if she were prey. 

' _I don't have to. They were never yours to begin with.'_ She replied simply.

Snoke growled and paced. Metisa watched as he did swirling the fog that laid at their feet.

' _This is your fault!"_ He roared. ' _I had Solo in my hands. He was_ mine. _Mine!'_

' _I didnt take him from you.'_ She pointed out.

' _No you didnt. That damn scavenger did. Your favorite's daughter. She... She will pay. Her time will come.'_

' _So will ours. We aren't immortal my other.'_ She spoke solemnly. ' _You must know our time is coming soon.'_

The space around them shook with rage.

_'I will_ not _die. I will be forever!'_

_'And that, will be your downfall.'_

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you remember Junu was wrong. It wasnt Rey who came home, but Phasma. A daughter is a daughter. 
> 
> And Snoke and Metisa are og Rey and Ben. In a different situation. Don't worry, Metisa isnt in kahoots with the creature, but aware of how they balance.
> 
> I love all of you. Please keep it up with your support, likes and comments. They mean a lot.
> 
> And come bug me on Tumblr at MissMarrinette.
> 
> And 50 CHAPTERS GUYS. 50!!! Look how far we've come. Thank you all for staying with me and your support and input. Thank you to all my readers, and it my own Ben, and Gaeli, who have helped and supported me in this.


	51. To Err Is Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst.
> 
> Short chapter that I needed to get down before I forgot what I wanted to write.

 

 

 

"Some say the world will end in fire, 

Some say in ice. 

From what I’ve tasted of desire 

I hold with those who favor fire. 

But if it had to perish twice, 

I think I know enough of hate 

To say that for destruction ice 

Is also great

And would suffice."

 

\--Fire and Ice, Robert Frost

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

Later that night Rey was sitting atop of the _Falcon_ looking up at the stars that shone through the galaxy. It reminded her of Jakku. There was little to no lights on the planet, so they didnt obscure the beauty of them.

The day they had was, tense, to say the least. She and Ben hadnt talked about what had happened, and she felt uncomfortable around Metisa, and she thought Ben did too. Rey spent most of the day working on her force abilities and working through the minor effects the planet had on them. It wasn't anything drastic, but it was something to get used to. She didnt have as many dilemmas as Ben did, so deciding she had enough, as went off into the woods to explore. She only took her staff, when she set off. She got no arguments from anyone about going off on her own. Rey thought that Ben was afraid to say something that would upset her, and that Gaeli and Phasma had faith in Metisa to keep her safe on the planet.

Hiking reminded her of her training with Luke. How simple things were back then. She missed the simplicity of it all. Maybe becoming a Jedi wasn't such a bad idea. It may be lonely but at least it was simple, and she definitely had a connection with the light side of the force, as Ben did with the dark.

While trekking through the wood Rey because paranoid about a creature following her, a rustling of leaves now and again, and strange mews that came from behind her. When she sought out the beast she only found a small feline looking creature, that had very large ears and strange white, tan and amber markings. Its paws and legs were all a deep brown, almost a black, and its underside was white. The creature seemed harmless and proved to be when Rey reached out to it. It was only curious of the new comer on its territory.

It was the same creature that had followed Rey back to the _Falcon_ and was now curled up beside her. Gaeli told her it was a Loth-cat, and a runt by the look of how small it was, and that it was probably left by its pack. Rey smiled at the small creature and felt a bond with it, they had a lot in common after all. Metisa had called it a Dimeti, and Rey thought that was a perfect name for the little guy. Gaeli laughed at the name and she asked why.

"You just named your cat cat." She said.

Rey blushed a little and smiled.

"Oh. I guess I can change it." She said.

"No, no," Her best friend urged. "I like it. Keep the make. He looks like a Dimeti anyways." She said with a smile.

Rey smiled back.

When it had gotten darker, Gaeli rekindled the fire from their meal earlier and made it much bigger, providing them warmth and light as the sun set. That's when Rey excused herself and made her way onto the top of the _Falcon._ She didnt go up there often, but some nights on Ahch-to, when the skies were clear and Luke set off to do his own thing, Rey would sit up there and watch the stars until she fell asleep.

'Mind if I join you?' Ben asked unsurely through their bond.

'Okay.'

A few moments later Ben was beside her, sitting maybe a foot away. His arms were propped up on his knees as he looked at the valley and sloping mountains below.

"I'm really sorry Rey." He said softly.

She remained quiet and shifted uncomfortably.

"I shouldn't have left like that."

"You shouldn't have." She agreed.

He sighed. He slowly reached out through their bond and showed her what he had seen the night before in his dreams. The pain and suffering of his nightmare. The fear and sorrow he felt. How he just wanted to keep her from that.

"I didn't want to hurt you." He whispered.

"So you left." She said looking out at the stars. "Just like my mother did."

"I came back Rey." He said as if it made things better.

Rey sighed and looked down, gently running her fingers down Dimetis head and shoulders. He rumbled out a purr and moved into Reys lap.

"I didn't know where you were. Or if you were even going to come back. I thought..."

It hit Ben right then and there. The threat that loomed over them. The fear that had been nagging at Rey. And he just made both come true in a matter of minutes.

"You thought I had..."

Rey nodded.

They sat in silence, processing what had happened, what had been said.

The one thing Rey was afraid of he had done again, and this time it hit much harder, because this wasn't Kylo Ren, it was Ben. Her Ben who had done this.

She didn't know what to do.

"I'll...just go then. And leave you be." Ben said solemnly, getting up. 

Rey looked up and opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. What could she say? She bit her lip and nodded, hugging her knees and displacing an annoyed loth-cat.

Ben made his way down the hatch back into the _Falcon._

"I thought you trusted me more than that." He said quietly.

His words cut her like a knife.

She squeezed her eyes shut and put her head between her knees. She let her tears fall. The tears she had been holding back for so long. The ones that mourned those who had abandoned her. That had wished and yearned to fall, but she never gave them the chance. Rey let the tears flow and the cries of desperation rack her frame.

She was so tired of being left. Of not getting the last word. Of people deciding to leave her without asking her what she felt. It made her feel powerless, and small.

How could he do that to her?

How could he...?

She felt Ben try to reach out to her through their bond to try to reconcile but she slammed her walls down and shut him out.

Dimeti pawed at Rey whining in worry. Rey scopped up the little cat and held it close. She heard arguing down below in the ship, Gaelis voice versus Ben's. It made her cry harder. She didn't want this. She hated the fighting and the arguing. The way Ben's voice roared like Ren's. How Gaeli stood up for her every time, no matter what the cost.

The voices suddenly became hushed, and she heard the faintness of her mothers voice talking to what it seemed like was both Gaeli and Ben. Rey was grateful for her mother in that moment.

Rey wiped away her tears with the back of her hand as Dimeti purred like a racer engine in her lap. She stroked the cat rhythmically, letting it calm her down with each pet.

"Rey?"

It was her mother. She looked over and found Phasma with the hatch open looking at her worried.

"I have a few blankets and pillows, and a heat conserver dome, if you'd like them." Phasma offered.

Rey nodded. Her mother came out and placed them by her side. She looked out at the vast expanse of land in front of them and sighed.

"I'm sorry, honey. I wish I could make it better for you, but I can't. But I'll always be here for you whenever you need me." Phasma consoled.

She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on the top of Reys head.

"Get some rest child. The Supreme Leader will be here in a matter of days, but tomorrow, you and I are going out and I'm going to show you the land. No boys, no best friends, just a mother and her daughter. Is that okay?"

Rey nodded and activated the conserver dome and draped a blanket around her shoulders.

"They won't bother you until you're ready. I promise." Her mother said. "Good night my desert flower. Sleep well."

"Night mom." Rey said softly.

Phasma paused and smiled at the title, then went back inside the _Falcon._

Rey settled down on the warming metal, laying on her back watching the stars.

"Good night Ben." She said weakly, silent tears escaping her eyes.

Dimeti curled up on Reys stomach and fell asleep. The soft breaths of the small cat, and the warmth the dome provided slowly lulled Rey to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're doomed.
> 
> Probably. 
> 
> Only time can teach them how to work together. 
> 
> Time they don't have.
> 
> Also that is probably my favorite poem ever. Its amazing if youre into poetry. 
> 
> Love yall


	52. An Impass

 

 

 

"I'm not afraid of you. I'm only afraid of losing you."

\--Bella Swan, The Twilight Saga

 

 

 

_________________________________________

 

 

Ben didnt sleep that night.

Instead he starred up at the empty bunk above him and cursed himself.

He was trying to protect her. He was trying to keep her safe. What was so wrong about that? The way he saw it was that there were two options: protect her or die. And right now, all alone in his bed, with Rey out alone on the _Falcon_ sleeping unguarded, he felt like dying. Maybe he had an argument before hand, but as soon as those words slipped out, he was so wrong.

Never had Rey shut him out purposely like that. Sure, maybe when he was still a cold hearted ass, but never when he was Ben. But when he said those words, those damn words, he messed up. He screwed himself over. He because that cold hearted ass that made Rey shut him out.

Gaeli must have been listening, because when he came storming down, she confronted him, which lead to an argument about Rey. He was already unstable, and when Gaeli said a word, it sparked something wild in him. He felt Rey cringe at their yelling faintly.

If Phasma hadn't stepped in, he didnt know what would have happened. It wouldnt have been good.

So he layed there, staring at the emptiness above him, and feeling the crushing emptiness within.

He knew that Phasma had told him to stay away. And to leave Rey alone until she was ready, but he couldn't leave her out at night on an unfamiliar planet, that he himself didn't feel safe on. He huffed at the insomnia and sat up. He wasn't going to leave Rey alone out there.

Ben grabbed his pathetic excuse for a blanket and made his way out onto the top of the _Falcon._ For insurance, he knocked both Gaeli and Phasma out with the force to ensure his way.

He found Rey asleep on her back, with the loth-cat on her stomach, both sleeping soundly. The night air had a bite to it, but he saw that Phasma had brought her a heat conserver, so he felt slightly better about Rey sleeping out here. Just slightly.

Ben sat down about two yards away from the sleeping girl, leaning against a jutting edge of the ship. He watched her sleep. The rise and fall of her chest in a steady rhythm.

Ben must have made a noise, because the small creautre atop of Rey awoke and headed towards him, looking for pets. He tried to shoo the critter away, but it insisted on rubbing up against Ben leaving fur on his pants. He grumbled and picked up the small thing and gave it what it wanted. The cat rumbled out a purr that made Ben jump slightly. Maybe he was a little on edge.

He sat there for a long while, petting the loth-cat and watching Rey, until his eyelids became to heavy to keep open.

 

_______________________________________

  
  


Rey found herself on the rock in the middle of the inky sea when she gained consciousness in her dreams. The sea was steady and calm, the waves gently lapping at the platform. Rey rolled her pants up and stuck her feet into the water, letting them sink in, as she sat on the edge of the rock. The water was cold, but felt nice against her warm skin. The sun was setting on the horizon, and the sky was a deep crimson around her.

She found herself looking for Ben in the waters, or beside her on the rock, or anywhere. Then she scolded herself for looking. She was mad at him. Well, no. She was more hurt than anything.

How could he think she didn't trust him?

How could he even expect for her to trust him?

She huffed and screamed out at the inky ocean. It was childish but it made her feel better.

A voice behind her laughed.

Rey whipped around and saw Anakin standing with her on the rock.

"Rough day?" He asked, a smile pulling at his lips.

"Leave me alone Skywalker." She gritted. "I don't want you here."

"Ouch. Touchy." He said sitting beside her. Rey growled and got up.

"What is _wrong_ with you Skywalkers? Can't you take a hint and leave me _alone_?" She yelled.

"Hey, sit down. There's no need to yell." Anakin consoled.

This riled Rey up more.

"No need to yell? No need to yell!?" She screamed. "I think I have a perfectly good reason to yell!"

"And why's that?" He mused.

"Because! Because Ben left me! Again!" She yelled at him. "Then he has the audacity to ask if I _trust him!?_ As if he's given me one reason to trust him!" Rey huffed and sat down beside Anakin.

"Youre right. You really shouldn't trust him. He's awful. I dont know why you havent just left him."

She glared at Anakin.

"You have no right to talk about him like that. If I remember you were so much worse then he is." She spat.

"I'm just saying. I dont know why you're with him if he's so terrible to you. I mean who would say that? And after everything you've done for him. Given up your way in the world, taking down an evil creature with him, for him. Saving his life, giving everything up for him. Giving him space when he needs it, always thinking of him before you act. Protecting him with a feirce passion. Letting him in, and loving him even with all of his faults and draw backs, wondering if he loves you back. Letting him decide what he wants to do, even if it isnt for your best interest. Trying to keep him safe when you can't trust yourself." Anakin listed raising his eyebrow.

Rey stared at him in shock, as Anakins words sank in. He had just listed everything that Ben had ever done for her.

"And the first thing I did was accuse him of leaving..." She said slowly.

Anakin nodded.

"I never said he was smart, but Rey, he really is trying his best to keep you with him. He needs you Rey. And you need him. Don't forget any of that."

 

_______________________________________

  
  


Rey sighed as she opened her eyes. Her back was stiff from sleeping on the hard metal of the ship, but it could be worse. She looked around at her surroundjngs and almost started to cry when she saw Ben out there with her, in the cold sleeping with her cat on his lap.

That stupid, stupid, boy.

She studied his face in the moonlight. Well moons, Ogegia had two moons apparently. His face was calm, the way it always was when he slept. A few stray hairs tickled his cheeks, and Rey itched to brush them aside, but refrained herself.

Instead she slowly brought down her walls and let herself ease into Ben's mind, his subconscious inviting her in. He was dreaming. It wasn't anything concrete, just colors and voices. Her voice more then the rest, but she also heard Leias soothing voice, and Hans gruff one. She smiled at his dreams, no matter how tough he acted, he still missed and loved his parents. And he still loved her.

She guessed he noticed her presence because his eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Rey, I..." He started, but she shook her head and he stopped.

"Its okay." She started. "We both did some really stupid things, and reacted even more stupidly. I'm sorry I didnt trust you. And that I thought the worst of you. You didnt deserve that. I'm sorry."  She whispered out.

"I'm sorry too Rey. I was scared, and I've never had anyone here before that would help me though it. And I shouldn't have said what I did. I was kinda an ass."

"Kinda?" She muttered.

A smile pulled at his lips.

"I was a complete asshole for saying I thought you trusted me more. Better?"

She gave a small smile and nodded. He held his arms open, inviting her closer but she shook her head.

"Its warmer over here." She explained.

He nodded and picked up Dimeti and made his way over to her sitting down next to her, where she took the tiny cat and then curled up in his lap. Ben wrapped his arms around her and held her close, also making sure he didn't squish her kitten.

"Your mother is going to kill me if she finds me out here." Ben said softly, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

Rey shrugged and reached for a blanket that Ben pulled around them. She may of had a conserver and her Ben, but something still chilled her to the bone.

"It'll be okay. I don't think she'll be too mad. She doesnt like us fighting." Rey concluded.

Ben smiled and rubbed Reys arm carefully.

"Well then Gaeli is definitely going to have my head. She wasn't too happy with me tonight."

"Neither was I. But here we are." Rey pointed out.

Ben nodded.

"I suppose." He sighed. "Guess you won't let me apologize again?" He asked.

Rey shook her head and looked up at him.

"I do want to know if youre okay though. I never got to ask... Your dream...?"

Ben looked out into the night sky and sighed.

"I don't know what to make of it. It could be a foreshadowing. It could be Snoke trying to get under my skin. I really cant tell you. But if it was Snoke, then it definitely worked." He said.

Rey nodded and shifted and took off her necklace with their stone. Ben only shook his head and placed it back around her neck. 

"It makes me feel better knowing he can't get to you. I can manage a few dreams."

Rey sighed, but decided that Ben wasn't going to budge on his desicion. Rarely was he stubborn, but when it came to her, his stubborness was almost guaranteed.

"If it gets any worse, please come and talk to me. I don't want to have you go at this alone. Because you're not alone anymore Ben." Rey consoled softly.

"Neither are you Rey, and I'm here to protect you."

"I know that, but I also want you to talk to me. We can't do this without each other. I dont know what Snoke is going to throw at us, but whatever it is I want us to work together."

Ben nodded and continued to rub Reys arm rhythmically.

"Please don't forget, you might find yourself with a version of me, you don't like. You might have to fight me Rey. And if it comes to it, if its me or you, please Rey, I'd rather die than live in a world without you." He said, his voice shaking.

"And I'd rather die than live in a world without you Ben. Love goes two ways." She said.

He huffed and nodded.

"I love you Ben."

"I love you too Rey."

 

_______________________________________

  
  


Metisa watched as the two reconciled with one another. It warmed her heart to see them working together again.

She called herself lucky to see the next generation of her and her brother, and their balance in the force.

It had been too long and it was time to put old things to pass.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe they can make it.
> 
> And yes Metisa and Snoke are siblings. Like what Luke and Leia could have been. 
> 
> I love all of you. Have a great week. Ill be back with more.
> 
> The end is near.
> 
> Are you ready for it?


	53. Are You Ready For It?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting, ill probably only be able to post every few days because all of my teachers are simultaneously trying to kill me.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy.

 

 

"Cause we break down a little  
But when I get you alone, it's so simple  
'Cause baby, I know what you know  
We can feel it

And all our pieces fall  
Right into place  
Get caught up in a moment  
I'm yours to keep  
And I'm yours to lose  
So it goes…"

 

\--So It Goes, Taylor Swift

 

 

 

____________________________________________

 

 

 

Phasma wasn't surprised to see the two curled up on top of the _Falcon._ She expected it really. Those two could never stay mad at each other. They were too desperate for the companionship.

Phasma remembered what it was like. When love was young and she needed Jez like air in her lungs. She gave everything, and forgave maybe too much, but she remembered needing him like the heart in her chest. He was her everything, something to smile for, something to fight for, something to die for.

So she woke both Ben and Rey, and waited for them to detangle and become upright. When Ben tried to apologize Phasma said there was no need. Because there really wasn't.

She had already packed two packs for her and Rey, and had both Reys saber and cloak ready for her. When Rey have her a pleading look, Phasma raised her eyebrow and Rey nodded and sighed taking her things. The couple needed a little separation, it was good for them.

Ben wrapped Rey up in a tight hug amd whispered something in her ear and she nodded and pulled away.

"I love you Rey." He said watching her go, holding Dimeti in his arms.

She smiled.

"I love you too, Ben. I'll be back later. I promise."

"Be safe." He asked.

"Always am."

"No you're not and it worries me." He countered.

Phasma laughed and placed a hand on Reys shoulder.

"I'll look after her Ben. No need to worry more than normal." She consoled.

"Thank you." He said with a curt nod, and just like that, they were off.

 

_______________________________________

 

Ben had told Rey to be ready for anything. She knew he could feel Snoke's presence close, she could too. It was the chill in her bones that wouldn't fade, despite the bright morning sun. He told her he was only one call away; that he'd be there as soon as she needed him.

Rey wanted to dismiss the fear and paranoia of her Ben, but she couldn't. Everything felt slightly off. As if someone had recreated the world she was in to the exact detail, but it wasn't the same. As if something was always in the corner of her eyes that she could never catch.

But she went off with her mother regardless. She wanted some time with her before what felt like the end off all things. It was the quiet moments Rey held onto.

Rey had no recollection of where they were going but Phasma seemed to have her directions in order because they came out into a clearing where a cascading waterfall filled Reys sights. She slowly dropped her things and took in the sight.

It took her breath away, the beauty of it all. The water fell lazily, but with purpose down the slick greening rocks into a small oasis of pooling water that Rey could see the bottom of. She drew closer, mesmerized. The water flowed and lapped at her feet, the bitting chill of it sending a shiver down her spine. Phasma smiled and came up beside her.

"This was where your father and I would come to spent our afternoons." She said reminiscent.

Rey could see it. Lazing around the pool, swimming and playing in the water. She could see herself with Ben here. His bulky frame in the water, solid like the rocks it fell from, relaxing in the cold liquid. It was in this moment she was glad at Lukes persistance for her to learn to swim back on Ahch-to.

"I'm going to gather some food for breakfast, feel free to swim or bathe. There's some soap in your pack if youd like it." Phasma offered, grabbing her pack and taking out her blaster. "Call me if you need me. I won't be far."

Rey nodded and watched as her mother set off into the trees and went for the soap that was supposedly in her pack. Sure enough it was there along with a towel. Phasma must have found some on the _Falcon._ Rey had really never really looked to see what the ship had before. She tucked taking inventory into the back of her mind for a later day.

Bathing sounded almost heavenly to Rey. So she stripped down and slowly waded into the water, her warm and sticky skin welcoming the coolness of it. Rey took her time, relaxing in the water and slowly cleaning away the dirt, grime and sweat that had embedded into her skin. She swam around a little and let her fingers catch straying water droplets from the falls. She watched as the water solid down her skin and back into the pool with its family.

As she did this she felt Ben's presence slowly seep into her mind. She was going to scold him for snooping but decided that he'd reap his own consequences for doing so. He remained silent and watched through her eyes, taking in the beauty of the falls. Even still, with all of its marvels, Ben was more consumed in Reys beauty. It was clear in his thoughts, whether he wanted it to be or not.

'Having fun there?' Rey asked him with a chuckle.

She felt his embarrassment, and could practically see the flush in his cheeks.

'I... Uh... Sorry?' He offered sheepishly.

Rey laughed.

'If I had a problem with it I would have stopped you.'

'So you dont then?' He asked.

Rey shrugged.

'I trust you.' She replied simply.

'Thank you.' He said softly. 'I'll leave you be, I'll see you soon sweetheart.

Rey smiled.

'Bye Ben, I love you.'

'I love you too.'

And with that his presence was absent from her mind. Not in a way that left her empty, but to let her know he wasnt imposing on her senses. He was always in her mind.

Rey lazily made her way from the water and onto the small rocky beach that outlined the pooling water. She dried and redressed, combing her fingers through her tangled wet hair. She watched the forest around her buzzing with life. It seemed so alive, even the dirt and the rocks seemed to have life in them.

Rey heard a rustling in tbe woods behind her, but didnt worry, for it was probably her mither coming back.

" _What_ are you doing _here?"_ An old familiar voice asked.

Rey jumped up and turned to see Junu. She glared something fierce and called her saber to her hands, letting out a low growl.

" _Back off_. I _know_ what you did. _Murder._ " Rey hissed out.

"And who told you this you ignorant child?" Junu asked sneering.

"I did."

Rey turned and saw her mother coming out from the wood with her lack full of what Rey assumed was what she had gathered in her time out.

"Phasma?" Junu gasped, shocked.

"Hello sister." Phamsa replied calmly taking her position by Reys side.

"I have no sister." Junu said shakily.

"You do, and a niece. You cant deny blood my sister."

Junu glared and let out a small huff.

"So she knows everything, and so do you." Junu concluded.

Phasma nodded and Rey tighten her grip on her staff. She didnt like this one bit. She didn't trust Junu at all and was sure that the queen was biding her time until someone came to kill her and her mother.

Ben's presence was suddenly ever present in her mind with raising alarm.

' _What wrong?'_ He demanded.

'Junu' Rey replied simply, and let Ben into her senses to see and hear what she did.

'Stay there. I'm coming.' Ben ordered.

'No. Ben. Stop. You dont know where I am, and she wants you dead more than me.' Rey tried.

'Rey I'm coming to you. You can't stop me. Stall her.' He retorted.

There was no point in arguing with him at this point. 

'Be safe.' She offered softly.

'Thank you.' It was almost a whisper in her mind.

Rey still felt Ben, but rather than in her head, it was as if he were in her chest, slowly pulling himself towards her being. It was a weird feeling, but something she vaguely remembered. From a time before when he tracked and hunted her down, for murder rather than protection.

" _Well?"_ Junu demanded from her, drawing her from her thoughts.

"Well what?" Rey snapped.

Phamsa laughed as if she knew Rey had been talking with Ben.

"A truce." Phasma said.

"With what conditions?" Rey asked. She didnt really care but Ben needed time to get to her.

"You are all pardoned, and I will offer my warriors for your aid, in return, you keep my planet safe, and kill that awful creature." Junu replied.

Rey looked at the queen skeptically.

"All of us? Even Ben?" She asked.

Junu glared but gave a small nod.

"You are all pardoned. Now save my home." She gritted.

Rey nodded. A comm on Junus waist beeped and she answered it, a holo of one of her warriors shone above it.

"Your majesty, we have word from scouts that an Imperial-class Star Destroyer has entered our atmosphere and a scout ship has been sent off of it. But something is off. There's a shift in the Force, its much colder and darker than what we've seen your highness." The holo spoke.

Reys eyes widened as she looked at her mother.

"Snoke." She breathed out.

Her heart pounded in her chest.

 This was it.

The beginning of the end for her.

Rey didnt waste a second. She broke off in a run into the forest, following the tug Ben had been pulling at to find her, slinging her saber over her shoulder.

" _BEN!"_ She screamed into the forest, trying to locate him, to get to him as fast as possible.

" _REY!?"_ His voice came from a not too far ditacne, his deep tone echoing through the wood.

" _He's here Ben! He's here!"_ She cried out to the forest running towards the sound of his voice.

She didn't hear a response, so she kept running in the direction the force was pulling her, until she smacked into the hulking form that was her Ben.

His arms reached out and caught her from falling back. He was out of breath and looked slightly wild, his hair in a disarray, with panic in his eyes. He quickly scanned her over making sure she was okay before pulling her to him, tucking her head under his chin and looking at the forest around them.

Rey caught her breath and held onto Ben, enjoying the comfort of his embrace.

" _He's here."_ She whispered shakily.

Ben smoothed out her hair calmingly and unclipped his saber from his belt.

"I know."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for it?
> 
>  
> 
> Cuz I'm not. 
> 
> Love you guys.


	54. Forgiveness

 

 

"I nearly died, alone in the dark,  
I couldn't open my eyes and it made me think  
About what I want, about who I want  
  
Everything is ending,  
I can't believe I didn't see it sooner  
I know that this is what I need to do  
Even though you haven't got a clue.  
Everything is changing,  
I have to keep you by my side tonight,  
And this must be why you found me,  
Why you found me."

\-- Everything is Ending, Chameleon Circuit

 

 

______________________________________

 

 

Both Phasma and Gaeli took off running in the same direction towards Rey and Ben, who had both decided to bolt, despite their names being called to come back. Junu followed Phasma and soon all three came upon Ben and Rey, who were standing there sabers out and ready, their lights giving the forest an orange tinge.

The couple jumped at the noise of the others coming close, but soon relaxed as they saw who it was. Rey shut off her staff and quickly pulled her hair back into a tight braid that Gaeli had shown her on the way to Ogegia.

Gaeli almost took Junu down when she saw her.

" _What is she doing here?"_ Gaeli sneered, holding her blaster up at the queen she used to protect with her life.

"Its okay Gaeli." Rey consoled. "We have a truce. A pardon for a fight."

"But she...!?" Gaeli exclaimed.

"I know, I don't want to trust her either, but its one of the only options we have."

Gaeli mumbled something and relaxed her fighting stance, holstering her blaster. She looked Junu dead in the eyes.

"You try _anything,_ and I won't hesitate to shoot you on the spot. Truce or no truce." The Togruta threatened.

Junu nodded and stiffened.

With the air slightly clearer, the five of them circled up and began planning.

"Do we know if he's on the scout ship?"

"Would he bring troopers with him?"

"What should we do?"

They all looked at Ben who was exchaning glances with Rey. He took a deep breath.

"He's not going to be on that scout craft. He's not foolish enough. He may have troopers, but more than likely he'll have the Knights of Ren with him to aid him."

"The knights of who?" Gaeli asked.

Ben looked down and became solemn so Phasma took over the conversation.

"They all trained with Ben in his ways of the dark side of the force, but unlike our Ben, most of them don't have a chance of being persuaded to stop fighting. They will be ruthless and skilled in every type of combat."

"They'll be no match for my warriors." Junu retorted.

"Snoke won't make the same mistake twice. He knows there are force users here, and how strong they are." Ben replied.

There was a silence among the group.

"So where are we gonna do this?" Rey asked.

"Maybe I can help." A motherly voice said from behind them.

As they turned they saw Metisa standing in the wood a few yards away from them. She always moved so discreetly that no one had heard her coming.

"Knowing the one you call Snoke, he will abide in the lower parts of Ogegia. In the caves by the sea. I will offer what aid I can my children but I'm afraid that this battle is not mine." She said soothingly.

They all nodded and Rey, Ben and Gaeli looked to Phasma for directions, much to Junus dismay.

 

_______________________________________

 

It took them well over an hour to make it to the caves that Metisa spoke of. There was small talk along the way, but no one was in the mood for any real conversation. Ben and Rey held hands the entire way, Rey using her staff as a walking stick, and Ben, his saber to cut away foliage. Phasma lead, and Junu next, then Gaeli, and finally Rey and Ben. Metisa seemed to fade in and out of the physical realm, and it worried the three warriors. Metisa was what connected all of the users on the planet, and protected it.

They stood on the cliffs above the caverns, all starring at the location that would decide all of their fates.

"Call your warriors my sister. Lets begin to prepare." Phasma said softly, not taking her eyes off of the caves.

 

_______________________________________

 

Snoke was amused by the small planet that his sister had chosen to be her dwelling place. 

It was pathetic. 

Just like his sister. 

Oh, she claimed to be neutral about the force, but she only truly taught the light sides powers, leaving his domain of the dark a mystery to her followers.

It would be her down fall.

His scouts informed him of the terrain, but he didnt need to know. The place for the battle was chosen long ago.

It was time to finish his sibling's worthless reign and gain total control of the force.

Starting with the murders of those dreaded children who had dared to defy him.

 

_______________________________________

 

Ben and Rey stood and in hand, facing another on the edge of the cliffs. Their forheads pressed together and their eyes closed, focusing on being with the other.

'I'm sorry we didnt have more time.' Ben said softly through her mind.

Her heart wanted to burst at the thought of this beknf their last moment of peace together.

'We'll make it Ben, I promise.' She replied.

He sighed softly. She leaned up amd nuzzled her nose to his, comfortingly.

'I believe in us. I know we can do this. Together. Just like everything else we've accomplished.' Rey consoled.

'But what if-'

'What if the sky turns green and trees were as small as flowers?' Rey cut him off.

He let out a soft laugh and slowly pressed his lips to hers, letting the softness of them take him away. The kisses slow and passionately, for the moment forgetting everything else but the person under their fingertips.

'I love you Rey. No matter what happens, you will always be mine.' Ben whispered.

'And I will always love you Ben. You mean more to me than anyone, and I will never give you up without a fight.' Rey replied.

They stood there in perfect harmony, as the world around them desended into chaos.

 

_______________________________________

 

Phasma didnt have the heart to seperate the two from their moment together.

She knew what it felt like to go onto something with the one you love, and not know who will come out.

"I'm sorry sister." Came a soft voice from behind her.

Phasma turned to see Junu standing there holding something out in her hand. It was a small medallion. The one that was fastened to her babe's swaddling cloth to keep it tight. The soft gold had dulled over time but the bright sapphires and amethyst still glittered in the sun. Phasma took hold of the small medal in her hand and ran her fingers over the dull metal.

"I was foolish and selfish. I wanted the crown for myself. It should have been yours. You should have reigned with Jezikah by your side, and Rey as your heir." Tears ran down Junu's face. "I'm so sorry my sister."

Phasma dropped the medallion and wrapped her arms around her sister, pulling her in for an embrace, tears sliding down her cheeks as well.

"All is forgiven my sister." She said gently.

 

_______________________________________

 

It only took the end of the world to reconcile with those you loved.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwwww how cute.
> 
> Theyre all gonna die
> 
> And who else loves 5th wheel Gaeli?
> 
> Its okay I have plans for her, she won't be another Leo Valdez *wink*
> 
> Anyways, are you guys excited?? 
> 
> We get too see what goes down and what happens with our babies.
> 
> And yes Phasma is older and therefore rightful heir to the throne of Ogegia. But drama.
> 
> Think about it though.


	55. Goodbye My Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter to wrap up some things before the show down. 
> 
> Love you guys 
> 
> Enjoy

"Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor  
You and me forevermore

Don’t read the last page  
But I stay when it's hard or it's wrong or we're making mistakes  
I want your midnights...

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you...  
And I will hold on to you

Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere"

\-- New Year's Day, Taylor Swift

 

 

___________________________________________

 

Rey looked up at Ben. At the deep brown eyes she had come to adore. The golden flecks that abided in them. His beautiful thick lashed that rimmed them. He was so perfect to her. He had become perfect. His flaws hadnt fine away, they just became her new definition of perfection. Ben would be perfection, no matter who he was.

His fingers brushed over her cheek softly as tears slid down his face, silent pleas for everything to just stop. 

Rey had never wanted to settle down in life. She had wanted to be free. But with Ben, all she wanted right then was for a simple life, easy, secure. 

Images flashed through her mind. She saw Ben, older with longer hair holding a small babe in his arms, softly singing to it. There were flashes of laughter, and parties with Ben. Years and years. There was her Ben when they were old and grey looking out at the horizon. 

The visions made her tears fall. It was so beautiful but seemed so unattainable.

Ben gathered her up in his arms and held her tight.

"I will do everything I can to give you that. I promise." He whispered.

She nodded into his shoulder and noticed Gaeli all alone at sitting on the edge of the cliff. Rey leaned up on her toes and kissed Ben softly before making her way to her best friend.

She sat beside Gaeli without a word, dangling her feet over the edge. Rey felt Ben tense at her feat, but ignored his misplaced worries.

"So this is it." Gaeli said to the horizon. The sun had begun to set slowly, painting the sky a crimson red. A menacing color that only reminded them of what was to come.

"Seems so." Rey replied.

Gaeli laughed.

"It all happened too fast. I don't want it to end Rey. Its been amazing spending time with you guys." Her friend said.

Rey nodded and looked back at Ben who was practicing with his saber.

"Don't want it to end." Rey echoed.

She finally felt like she had people who would be there for her. Who wouldnt leave her, and would fight for her. And now they were about to fight with her. It seemed like the end, only it was as if their adventure had only begun.

Rey sighed and watched as the sun sank lower. Phasma came up behind the girls and placed a hand on their shoulders.

"It's time." She said solemnly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sweet song by the way. Amazing piano peice too. Ugh. Just love.


	56. Its Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo sorry for the late posting.
> 
> I have everything but the beginning of this written and its like pulling teeth to firgure it out.
> 
> I hope you're ready.
> 
> I love you all.

 

 

"The darkest day, the darkest hour. Chin up, shoulders back. Lets see what were made of, you and I."

\-- The Twelfth Doctor, Doctor Who

 

 

__________________________________________

 

It was time indeed.

Metisa watched as the group gathered together. Other force warriors had arrived, those higher in rank, and had already talked with Junu about what was happening and were all prepared.

Metisa felt her bother phase into existence in the cave below. It was no easy task, and her sibling had decided to also phase his own knights along with him.

'Impressive feat.' She commented.

He gave no response but she could feel the satisfaction flow through him. She shook her head at his false sense of pride. It was sad to see her brother fall so far into his own ego.

It was Ben who came to her and knelt in front of her. She was satisfied with his respect, bur she could also read his fear. He didnt hide it very well. Though, he wasn't afraid of dying himself. He was afraid of Snoke. Of the power her brother had had over him, and what he made the young man do. He was afraid for Rey. Metisa smiled at how he thought of Rey. Always soft and glowing, loving her stubbornness and caring nature. He was afraid to lose her.

Metisa knelt down with Ben and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"My child, there's no need to be afriad. This was all planned long ago. The force will have its way, no matter the conditions." She consoled.

He looked up at her, his long hair framing his solemn face.

"Please promise to get her out, and keep her alive." He whispered, pleading.

Metisa looked at the young man, and the girl he was desperately in love with, then nodded. She knew her days were coming to an end, and she knew what he and Rey were destined to become. There was no better recipient.

"I swear by the force that I shall do everything in my power to keep both you and Rey safe." She vowed.

He nodded and bowed his head.

"Thank you," He whispered.

Metisa smiled at him and heloed him to his feet and nodded over to Rey.

"Go, be with her. My brother has arrived." She saw the confusion on his face, but ignored it. "May the force be with you both." She said with a smile and a slight devious look in her eye.

Ben stared at her, then recovered and made his way to Rey placing his hand on her waist, pulling her to his side.

Her daughters looked back at her and Metisa nodded once.

It was time.

 

_______________________________________

 

Rey stood with her family in front of the entrance to the cavern that held their fates. Clouds gathered over them and made the twilight much darker then it should have been. It casted shadows and omnious figures all around them. Drawing them in, yet telling them to stay away.

Beside her Ben ignited his saber and she followed suit and ignited hers. Gaeli held up her blaster and Phasma hers. Junu had a blade in her hands, it was almost a saber, but was made of a golden alloy with a plasma line on one edge, glowing red.

The warriors were behind them, having such an array of weapons and blasters, she couldnt keep track. Not like she needed too, most of the warriors didn't agree with Ben's presence which made her off put by them anyways.

Bens signature flowed strongly with hers, a braided rope that held them tightly together. She felt strong with him. To be honest she felt stronger knowing that her mother and her two best friends stood beside her, and were going to see this through with her.

This was for Ben.

It had always been for Ben.

To save him from the monster that was inside that wanted to take him from her. She didn't care about the galaxy. Or the First Order, or really who was in control of anything at this point; she just wanted her Ben safe. With her.

So she would stand and fight against anything that would take him away.

Anything.

 

_______________________________________

 

Ben held Reys hand as he looked at the black abyss in front of him. He knew what lurked there. He knew the demons he would have to face.

But he looked at Rey beside him. His Rey. She was there with him ready to fight.

And it was the fight that came.

Figures made their way out of the shadows, his old trainees. They were all menacing, each with a different form of saber weapon. One of his most advanced knights cracked his saber whip that alnost hit Rey. Anger flared though Ben, but Gaeli was the first to step and take a shot.

The knight deflected the blow, but thats when all hell broke loose. Ben let go of Reys hand and began fighting with his former colleagues, moving his sabe in and out of pattern, switching from offensive to defensive, with each attack. It was tiring and he worked up a sweat, if it wasnt for the fact their lives were on the line, it would have been just like training. 

Ben made a mental count of their aggressors and it seemed as if there were three times as many knights as there were when he had been apart of them, which couldnt have been more than a week ago. It worried Ben for all of the minds who had been twisted and perverted into such dark ways, but he fought on.

" _Rey, Ben, go!"_ Phasma shouted, back to back with Gaeli, fighting off four knights.

Ben knew she meanr to go and face Snoke in the ominous cave. He pushed back the man in black he was currently fighting and looked for Rey.

Bens eyes met Rey and they both bolted into the cave. It seemed too easy to him. But he guessed the knights had orders to let them through.

He gave Rey a once over, and she seemed alright, make a scrap or to but nothing vitally damaged.

She was breathing heavily and used the glow of her saber to light the way before  them. It was fifty long paces before he could see his former master.

Snoke sat on a crude ore throne, the color of oil, with a slight cast light over him, coming from a small crack in the cave above them.

He looked just as Ben had remembered. Deformed, old, and cruel.

Rey gasped and quickly took his hand.

" _Welcome my insolent children."_ Snoke hissed. He turned. "So nice to see you _Ben._ Its been a while." He said with menace.

He could see Rey square her shoulders.

" _No."_ She said defiantly.

Of course she would.

Soon Rey was raised off the floor, in a force choke gasping for air. Ben felt his limbs become lessen as he tried to stop her pain.

" _Excuse me?"_ Snoke hissed and dripped Rey. 

She was panting and gasping on the floor, but still looked up defiantly.

"You do not get to call him that. You have _not earned_ the honor to call him Ben, you sick twisted bastard." She seethed out. 

It was that shining moment Ben loved Rey the most.

And that shining moment he knew they were both dead.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you Reys stubbornness would be the death of her.
> 
> Love you guys so much and 
> 
> I HAVE FAN ART. 
> 
> which is really funny because my inspiration for Gaeli drew Gaeli. 
> 
> Riddle me that Batman.
> 
> Come check it out on my tumblr: MissMarrinette
> 
> Love you guys so much


	57. Predictability

 

"I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I know I'll be living in vain...

Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life..."

\--I Don't Wanna Live Forever, Taylor Swift and ZAYN

 

_______________________________________

 

Snoke circled the two force users, their blades of yellow and red creating an orange tinge in the cavern.

Pathetic they were.

Weak.

Foolish.

In love.

The weakest of them all. They would be more then easy to destroy. It would be child's play.

Each had their own fears.

Each had it clearly written on their faces.

 

_______________________________________

  
  


Rey blinked.

She had the same feeling she did earlier that morning. As if everything was somehow synthetic, an illusion that someone had tried to perfect, but couldn't get it quite right. She still couldn't say what was wrong.

"So you feel the difference." Snoke mused. "Interesting."

Rey glared and squared her shoulders.

"What did you do?" She hissed.

"I have done nothing you ignorant child. Only put things back where they belong." He said matter-of-factly.

Reys breathing heightened as she realized what he meant. She turned to Ben, no not Ben.

 Ben was gone.

 In his place was the monster she knew all to well, kneeling in front of his master.

She almost laughed.

Almost.

"You find this funny?" Snoke seethed.

Rey shrugged as the emptiness in her heart set in. Her Ben was gone. She should have given him back his necklace. She should have been smarter... She should have...

She should have...

"Predictable." She said nonchalantly, trying to ignore the deafening silence in her mind.

"Is that so?" The creature seemed amused.

Rey gave another shrug.

"So you know what's coming then? Are you ready to play your part my little pawn?"

Rey wasnt sure if he was talking to her or... 

She squeezed her eyes shut. 

Or Kylo Ren. 

It broke her in two, to lose him like this. She felt it shatter in her chest.

She gave a nod. To appease him. Rey had other plans.

Snoke wanted a fight.

Fine. 

Lets see how this pawn would play.

Her connection with Ben was gone. Her connection to the force was gone. Snoke must be doing the latter. 

She felt empty. 

Small.

Alone.

Again.

It should have angered her. Made her fight back. Fight... _him._

She could feel the anticitapion from Snoke for her response. But Rey wouldnt let him have the satisfaction. With Ben gone there was no point to her. She had lost.

 

_(_ _Predictable.)_

 

Rey switched off her lighsaber and knelt to the ground, her hands on her lap and head down.

 

_(_ _Predictable?)_

 

She was nothing.

It became her mantra.

 

_I will not be a pawn._

 

She felt _him_ move.

A red blade hummed over her shoulder. It singed the hair on her neck and the heat burned her skin. Rey took a deep shaky breath.

She looked up, but she didnt have to.

She knew who was standing over her.

She knew she had lost _him_. 

She had lost the one person who meant everything, to a creature she couldnt beat without _him_. A creature who had won before it even began. She felt empty.

She had lost.

She saw it coming and she lost anyways.

"Kylo." She said softly, giving him a smile.

 

_(_ _Predict-)_

 

Kylo Ren was back. The mask, the robes, the unstable saber. He was there in front of her, staring her down, waiting to kill her.

But she realized she couldnt find it in herself to be sad or upset. 

 

_(???)_

 

She realized the man in front of her was still hers, she just had to prove it to him.

And hell if Snoke thought he could take it away just because he was no longer Ben.

She slowly stood, his saber grazing into her shoulder before he moved it so she could stand. He was in there. Rey didn't flinch at the pain. She didn't make a face.

Hell if Snoke thought that Ben was the only one she knew.

"Its been awhile Ren." Rey said, looking him up and down. "Still a drama queen I see." She smirked.

A growl came from Kylos mask as he stalked around her.

"Finish her." Snoke ordered.

She felt his blade pierce into her leg, grazing her side, cutting deep, but again, she didn't flinch, she didn't show any sign of pain.

"Maybe you're stronger then I thought girl. Maybe I'll let my pawn keep you as a pet. To see what you could become." Snoke said.

Rey paid no mind to the creature. Her thoughts were on Kylo. On Ben. On who this man was. On who she loved.

"Ben, please. This isn't you," Rey said softly as tears streamed quietly down her face. She frowned. " _No."_ She whispered.

His red saber glowed in the dim light of the cavern as it menacingly stalked her.

"Ben is gone. He's not here any more. And you will never know me." Kylo hissed drawing closer, glaring at her. His saber pointed straight at her chest. A viper ready to strike.

"Kill her." Snoke commanded.

She smiled softly. Maybe he was right. Maybe Ben was gone. But that wouldn't change her mind about him. She knew him. This was him.

His blade pressed into her tunic. The heat seared her skin. This was it. She knew it was coming. This was going to be her end.

All because she loved too much. All because he never knew that she loved all of him. Because she never knew it herself.

Maybe she could at least save one of them.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, her vision blurring through tears, spots dancing in them.

_I will not be predictable._

She needed him to see there was more. She needed him to be close enough.

There was nowhere to run now, for both of them. It was now or never. Rey could feel his muscles coil, getting ready for the kill. She closed her eyes.

"I love you, Kylo Ren." She whispered out, but the words rang true. She loved the monster in front of her. It was so sick and twisted but she did.

She loved him.

' _I_ _love you.'_ She said to the emptiness where Ben would have been in her mind.

Her world went dark.

 

_______________________________________

 

_Who would have predicted that?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know that was totally predictable.
> 
> Duh.
> 
> Its the point.
> 
> Snoke thought he knew what she feared.
> 
> You thought you knew what she feared.
> 
> (maybe this whole story was just Snoke stalking our kids. Think about that. What do you really know?)
> 
> (What I tell you, duh.)
> 
> But anyways
> 
> Reys smart.
> 
> And also maybe dead.
> 
> But lets not talk about that.
> 
> Yet.
> 
>  
> 
> I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!
> 
> more to come i promise


	58. An Old Tradition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys so so much.

 

 

 

"It took more than my strength  
To simply be still  
To seek but never find

The reasons we change  
The reasons I doubt  
And Why do loved ones have to die?...

 

See now I am the man who yelled out from the crowd  
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground  
Yes then I turned away with a smile on my face  
With this sin in my heart, tried to bury Your grace  
And then alone in the night I still call out for You  
So ashamed of my life, 

But You love me anyway..."

 

-You Love Me Anyway, Sidewalk Prophets

 

 

____________________________________________

 

 

Snoke circled the two force users, their blades of yellow and red creating an orange tinge in the cavern.

Pathetic they were.

Weak.

Foolish.

In love.

The weakest of them all. They would be more then easy to destroy. It would be child's play.

Each had their own fears.

Each had it clearly written on their faces.

 

_______________________________________

 

Ben blinked and he was outside the cave again. He felt the difference. Barely. He looked around, to his left and right. The difference faded.

There was no one.

Where was Rey?

Where was everyone?

Shouldnt there be a battle going on out here?

He looked around and was utterly alone.

He called out to Rey. There was no repsonse. He used the force and there was still nothing. He only felt the darkness he once knew.

Where was Rey to take it away?

He tried to think back to what happened but couldnt remember.

_'_ _They left you.'_ A voice hissed.

That didnt matter to him, people left all the time.

_'She left you.'_

Now that.

That mattered.

"She wouldn't." He said defiantly. She couldn't. But the emptiness was present. Her emptiness from him was deafening.

_Where did she go?_

A scene flashed in his mind. He didnt recognize the sight but there was his Rey, beautiful and strong, the fire in her eyes that set his heart ablaze. He was there too. They were in the forest, surrounded by ancient trees that always fascinated his little desert star.

He remembered this.

He remembered...

 

_"I can't do this Ben." She said quietly._

_He reached his hand out to her but she coiled away._

_"I have to go. I'm sorry." She looked up, her big brown doe eyes broke his heart in two._

_"Rey_ please _." He tried. "Don't give up on me. You_ promised _." He choked up._

_"I'm sorry Ben."_

_And with that she walked into the woods, and out of sight. He should have followed her. Begged on his knees for her to come back. To stay._

_But instead he stood there. Like the trees that grew around him. He couldn't move. She was gone._ She was gone _. He couldn't force her to stay. He couldnt blame her for not. He could only feel the agony of her absense._

 

He remembered.

A tear fell down his cheek as he looked into the cave. The crippling emptiness brought him to his knees.

_She was gone._

_She had given up._

Anger flared in his heart, but it wasnt at her. Ben ignited his saber and slipped into his old self. It was time to end this weak feeling he had following him everywhere. It was time to give completely in with no hope of return.

It was time to finish it.

" _Snoke!"_ He bellowed.

"Hello pet." A creature smoled coyly down on him.

Ben gritted his teeth, and in his mind tucked both Rey and himself safely away in the folds.of the darkness that Snoke was pressing upon him.

"Did you enjoy her while she lasted?" Snoke asked, laughing at his misfortune.

He almost lost it.

Almost.

" _Yes."_ He seethed.

"Good."

Kylo drew closer to the Supreme Leader.

"I'm ready to finish my training. I'm ready to become a Sith Lord." He said without emotion.

"Oh?"

Kylo nodded.

"And that starts," He moved in and twirled his saber. "With killing you."

 

·····

 

That was all it took.

Ben knew Snoke was in his head, that he had created her leaving to manipulate him back to his reign.

He blinked and was suddenly somewhere completely different.

He saw through the narrow visor of his old mask. He saw right onto a sight that made his blood run cold.

It was Rey.

In front of him.

It should have relieved him.

But...

His saber was aimed at her chest. Her eyes were closed and tear streaks stained her face.

_Why hadnt she fought?_

_What was she doing?_

"Finish her."

Snoke was in his head all of a sudden. As if he never left. His thoughts were no longer his own. They werent Snokes either. They were a deadly combination.

He knew Snoke was right. She could never love him. Look at him. She knew he would do this. She knew he would turn on her. She knew it all along.

She may been able to love Ben. Everyone loved Ben. But Kylo? No one loved Kylo. The murder. The traitor. She couldn't love Kylo either. She was waiting for him to turn on her. She never fully trusted him. How could she?

Therefore killing her would be that much easier. Just like his father. He never loved Kylo either.

He coiled back for the kill. It was all going to be over soon.

"I love you, Kylo Ren." She took a breath like it was her last.

' _I love you.'_ Came through his sick twisted thoughts as clear as the day sun.

He couldnt think.

 

_What?_

_She loved him?_

_She loved the monster that he was?_

 

Surely the words she said werent true.

Maybe he heard her wrong.

He needed to ask her.

She collapsed on the ground. Her life force was fading, as was the want to kill her. His want. Not the monster behind him's want.

He needed to act fast. He needed to know that those words weren't her last.

 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM GOING ON HIATUS.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> (Just kidding.)
> 
> I got you didnt I?
> 
> But youre gonna wish I were.
> 
> I LOVE YOU


	59. Righteous Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all.
> 
> I promise.
> 
> Its almost over.
> 
> Well
> 
> Not really.

 

 

"Then the earth quaked and trembled. The foundations of the mountains shook; they quaked because of his anger."

\--Psalms 18:7

 

 

 

____________________________________________

 

 

Snoke grew agitated as he saw hinself lose the upper hand.

Each of the foolish incompetents had figured out the mind game.

Each had survived their own personal hell.

' _I told you.'_ His pathetic excuse for a sister taunted.

Oh, how he loathed her.

' _They won't be able to stop me of shes_ dead.' He hissed.

There was silence and emptiness from his sister.

Snoke looked at Rey.

He healed the wounds his failure had inflicted on her.

They wouldn't be necessary.

He had much better means of killing.

 

 

 

_______________________________________

  


 

For one shinging moment she saw herself next to the man she loved.

Then the pain tore through her.

She screamed, but nothing came out. Moving would be too much effort. It seared her veins, and boiled her blood. She crumpled and shook in pain. Nails raked through her chest. Poison burned through her blood stream. Pressure shattered her bones. 

Pain. 

It consumed her. 

Everywhere.

Everywhere. 

Pain. 

Suffering. 

Anguish.

  
  


 

Then, it stopped.

She gasped for air, sucking it through her mouth, coughing up blood. It felt like inhaling broken glass. Rey propped weakly up on her elbows, panting and gagging, staring at the cool black marble floor, spattered with her blood, as spots danced in her eyes.

She tried blinking them away, but with every blink the spots got bigger and her eyes got heavier and heavier, until it was too much to open them again. So she didn't.

 

 

··········

 

 

In her mind, death was serene.

Solemn.

Simple.

She sat in a feild of wildflowers with Kylo. Their meadow. The sun was bright and there wasnt a cloud in the sky.

She smiled as he walked towards her a bouquet of the stray flowers in his hand. He was beaming at her, his deep brown eyes gleaming with joy. Kylo knelt down in front of her and gave her the flowers he had collected. She tucked one in his hair behind his ear as he kissed her forehead.

He picked her up, cradling her, and walked through the feild, away from the setting sun.

 

 

_______________________________________

 

 

The moment Rey screeched in utter agony, Kylo felt his soul coil with such hatred and anger he no longer had to think about what he was going to do.

Kylo's angry red saber rang true and Snoke was no more.

The Supreme Leader was too busy killing the one he loved to notice his apprentice's actions of murder. 

Kylo sliced through his neck like butter, then through the chest, creating an 'x'. Over and over Kylo tore through the body, only hesitating when he noticed Rey fall to the floor scantily breathing, blood trailing from her nose and mouth.

He dropped his saber, and it sputtered out, as he ran to her side rolling Rey onto her back.

"Rey? _Rey!?_ " He panicked and shook her shoulders.

She wasn't moving. She was hardly breathing.

" _REY!?"_ He bellowed, desperately trying to call her back to him.

Her force signature was fading fast. He scanned her body for signs of injury, but found none. Snoke had healed every outer injury he had caused and torn her from the inside out.

He scooped her up in his arms and ran with her for help.

She couldn't die. 

She wasn't going to die. 

Not here. 

Not now.

 

 

_______________________________________

  


 

Kylo carried her through the field and she curled her fingers in his dark silky hair, smiling, watching his face as they moved.

His expression changed. 

He was crying. 

His face in utter anguish. 

She tilted her head and frowned.  _"Kylo?"_

 

 

_______________________________________

  


 

He barely heard it. He looked down on her.

"Rey, can you hear me? _Rey!?_ " Tears streamed down his face as he called back to the girl who just called for him.

 

 

_______________________________________

  


 

All of a sudden everything hurt.

The meadow faded but she still felt his arms carrying her. The world around them was no longer green and blue, but black and red. 

Her eyelashes fluttered as she managed to barely open her eyes to see him again.

Oof, that hurt.

" _Ben,_ " She croaked.

That hurt even more.

Her throat was raw and her mouth tasted like metallic. Blood.

Then she saw him. He was crying again but this read in her soul as happiness. She wanted to wipe his tears away but she couldnt move her arms.

_"Kylo_ ," She held onto his name like a prayer.

  
  



	60. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so sorry this is so late.
> 
> Ive been too pressed for time and have been running off of maybe three hours a night for two weeks.
> 
> But those are excuses.
> 
> Heres the chapter.
> 
> No cliffhangers this time I promise.

 

 

 

"Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him."

 

 

 

____________________________________________

 

 

Phasma looked around and saw the ends of the meticulous battle that had just occured. Junu was right. Her force warriors quickly overcame the darksiders. There were many fallen on the battle ground. Both darksiders and warriors. It saddened her to see both. 

And up until a few minutes ago, a darkness pressed on the force around them but now, it was no where to be found. There was a powerful dark aura but it was nowhere near evil, just strength. The remaining siders had been rounded up and were being taken into custody.

Phasma gawked as she saw Ben walk out with a limp body in his arms.

 He was crying, tears staining his cheeks.

 

He looked so desperate.

So hopeless.

Her heart began to break at the sight of her daughter in his arms. She was pale and Phasma could faintly feel the agonizing pain Rey was in.

She dropped her blaster and ran to him. Ben turned to her with a broken pleading look on his face.

" _Please. Please help her."_ He cried.

Phasma motioned for him to set Rey on the ground, and he did so, carefully.

" _Gaeli! Junu! Here now!"_ She called.

The two looked up and Gaeli broke into a sprint towards her best friend.

" _What did you do!?"_ The togruta screeched at Ben.

Bens eyes flashed up at Gaeli, and for the first time Phasma noticed his eyes.

Fulled with hate and rage, and a rich golden.

Phasma reached out and and waved a hand in front of him.

"Deal with that later. Ben you're the _only_ one who can keep her alive and present. The force bond. You know its there. Pull her to you with it." Phasma soothed, and distracted.

Ben forgot his anger and focused on Rey while Phasma shot Gaeli a look. The Togruta huffed and began pacing, glancing at Rey worried.

"I need you for this. _Junu!"_ She called again.

Her sister quickly ran over and assesed the situation.

"Ill call my healers." She said turning to leave.

"There's no _time."_ Phasma replied.

" _Please."_ Ben strangled out.

" _Focus."_ Phamsa commanded him.

Ben turned his attention back to Rey and spoke to her softly, stroking her cheeks and hair, tears streaming down his face as he pleaded to her to stay with him. He was shaking and crying to her to stay. He promised her the galaxy. He promised her anything she wanted. As long as she stayed.

It broke Phasmas heart to see Ben going through what she once did with her own love.

" _What do we do?"_ Phasma whispered to her sister.

Junu gave a desperate look.

" _I don't know."_

Ben let out a excruciating cry of desperation. Rey didnt have long left.

" _Ben._ Youre the _only_ plan I have right not to keep her alive. _Focus."_ Phasma scolded, tears forming in her eyes.

Gaeli was still pacing and muttering, but stopped suddenly.

"Do you know the _azken aukera?"_ She asked with intent.

Phasma took a moment to think.

"That's extremely dangerous Gaeli." Junu informed.

"We have to _try."_ Phasma insisted. "She has less then a minute."

" _No!"_ Junu shouted. "The last time you tried it you almost _died!"_

Phasma whipped around and stood.

" _You_ were the cause of that. _I did die that day!"_ She screamed squaring up to Junu.

Gaeli stepped in between them.

"Okay! Okay! _Enough!"_ She yelled. "You can fight later. For the love of the force _save Rey!"_

"Phasma _please."_ Ben stranged out. "I can't... I can't... She's...." His voice broke.

Phasma nodded and knelt beside Rey. He was losing his grip on her mind. She was fadding too fast.

"Phasma _don't."_ Junu said and knelt next to her.

"This is my _daughter._ I'm going to do what I have to."

"You've given too much. Let me." Junu said softly.

Phasma looked at her and frowned.

"No. _No. No!_ It will _kill_ you, you don't have a strong enough bond with her.

Junu placed her finger on Reys forehead and closed her eyes.

"Ive lived too long and you've lost too much." She whispered.

Phasma jumped at her sister but Gaeli held her back.

"Phasma, Phasma, stop _stop._ Shes _chosen."_ Gaeli tried to appease her.

Phasma started choking out sobs and crumpled to the ground shaking and rocking. Muttering and crying.

" _I can't lose my sister_." She cried. _"I just got her back!"_ She screeched. _"I can't!"_

Gaeli left Phasma on the sand and went to move Bens hands off of Rey so he wouldn't get the after shock of the spell. She was expecting a fight from him, but he let her go and put his hands on his lap staring at Rey.

Phasma watched in shock as Junu began whispering the ancient spell to save her daughter, as her pleas fell on deaf ears.

She watched as Reys force signature grew stronger, and Junus, weaker. Phasma felt Gaelis arm around her shoulder as they watched.

Reys breathing became steady as she took deep breaths through her nose.

Ben let out a strangled cry of relief and pulled Rey into his arms.

"Ben, no wait-" Gaeli started.

The togruta didnt know how Reys mending body would affect Bens, but when he let out an animalistic growl she decided not to push it.

She looked over and saw Phasma cradling her sister.

"Dont leave me." She whispered, tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry Mia, I never wanted this..." Junu rasped out.

Phasma stroked her hair softly and shushed her.

"Its all gonna be okay. Just stay. Stay with me. You _promised."_

 

 

Gaeli watched.

She watched the two sisters saying their final goodbyes.

She watched the Ben cradle Rey holding her close and whispering to her.

She watched the sun set and the stars come out, and the lights shine as beacons to all, to come home.

 

 

_Home._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end....
> 
>  
> 
> Of part one.
> 
> I love you all so so so much. And I love all of you for taking this journey with me.
> 
> But as it seems its now exam season and I'm pressed sop much for time that I don't want to leave you hanging too much. So ill start part 2 when things calm down. 
> 
> I cant tell you how amazing it's been writing for you all and its really helped me develop a passion for writing. 
> 
> A huge thanks to my Kylo, and my Gaeli. They mean the world to me and I cant live without them. Also thank you to my tumblr mom (you know who you are) for your fic is the one that started it all.
> 
> Thank you to all me readers and thise who gave such positive feed back. 
> 
> Never change guys. 
> 
> I love and have an adoration for you all.
> 
> Love, mama Mari
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Final notes: As it was pointed out. Junu was a "butt" but sisters are weird and love no matter what. 
> 
> She'll be missed.
> 
> But hey Rey isnt dead. 
> 
> Aren't you happy?
> 
> Also the azken aukera.  
> Its a "spell" where normally force bonded users in desperate times of need can transfer they'd signature until the othet heals. Stronger bond, easier it is to heal and transfer without the loss of life, but as you see, without a strong bond, it doesnt work to well.  
> "Well why didn't Ben do it?" You may ask.  
> He doesnt know how to. And he's in too much shock and terror he wouldnt be able to be talked through it. Besides. Plot. 
> 
>  
> 
> I love you all.
> 
> Thank you for everything


	61. Awake: An Epilouge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy super bowl Sunday.
> 
> If youre into that.
> 
> (Go eagles!)
> 
> Anyways, heres an easy cute chapter for the hell I've put you guys through.
> 
> I'm surpised you've lasted this long.
> 
> I love you guys
> 
> Enjoy

 

 

 

 

 

"Even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise."

\--Les Miserables 

 

 

 

____________________________________________

 

 

There wasnt an inch of Reys body that didnt ache. As she came in and out of her own conscienceness she felt the pain rise and subside.

Each time she grew close to alertness she heard a voice. It was deep and silky, but still soft. It caressed her name with such care. Sometimes it sang sad melodies with words Rey didnt understand. The voice had deep sorrows, she could feel each on as if it were her own. The loss of a family, the heartbreak of a love, the loneliness of a darkness. She wanted to ease the voices pain. To take it all away, but every time she reached out to try and heal it, she fell back into nothingness.

And so it went on. Nothingness. The sad calling voice. The need to make it better. Then nothingness again. For what seemed like eternity it went on.

"Rey, Rey please wake up." The soft warm voice called to her.

Rey was determined. She was going to help her voice and do as it asked. Just this once she tried with everything and she had and broke free of the deep sleep that held her mind.

When her eyelids finally found themselves open she saw the face that matched the perfect voice, and she loved them both.

"Kylo," She rasped.

There were tears in his eyes. His beautiful dark golden eyes.

"Kylo?" She questioned.

He nodded and ran his fingertips over her cheeks, the tears making steady paths down his face.

"I'm here Rey. I'm here." He choked out.

Her own tears formed in her eyes as she realized how much she must have put him through and how much she missed him and yearned too see his face.

"Kylo." She said firmly, owning his name.

It was hers to own.

He was everywhere. His hands stroked her face and arms. His hot tears melded with hers. He was shaking and crying.

She couldn't move her arms to embrace him. She couldn't reach out to wipe away his tears. It was torture.

He said her name over and over. A mantra. His mantra. How did it ever become her name? How was she ever that lucky?

She called his name back. Ben. Kylo. Kylo. Ben.

They were the same. They were one. And it took almost dying to figure that out.

"I love you." He cried. "Please dont ever do that again Rey. Don't leave me again." He whispered harshly, his voice shaking.

Rey mumbled apologies and let herself fall into the man that was hers.

"Hey pretty boy, dont you think she wants to see her best friend?" Gaeli asked from somewhere in the room.

A room. She was in a room. It was large and warm, with high ceilings and marble stone walls, with beautiful tapestries hanging. But what enamored her the most was the large open balcony with only sheer drapes obstructing her view that were fluttering in the breeze.

She looked at Kylo, who she could have sworn growled under his breath, but let up from her and sat by her side on the bed. She was in a bed. A comforterable one at that.

As much as she wanted Ben to stay she was happy to see her best friend smiling and walking towards her.

"Geez kid, next time you decide to pass out for a week, give the poor guy a heads up. He was a basket case."

_A week!?_

She looked up and Kylo nodded and sat by her side holding her hand in his. She could move her fingers enough to hold his firmly.

"How you feelin' Rey?" Gaeli asked.

She shrugged.

Hey, she could shrug.

"Well it seems you have some motor skills, can you talk?"

"Don't rush her Gaeli." Kylo scolded.

Were his whispered names just for him to treasure? Had she even really spoken them? She thought she did.

The torguta held up her hands in mock surrender.

"Just trying to help."

"Well don't." He snapped.

Rey shot a glare at him and turned back to Gaeli.

"I'm okay. Thank you." She rasped out, forming each syllable carefully.

Ben huffed beside her and held out a glass of water for her to drink from. She took careful sips, each one burning the back of her throat with the sting of coldness.

"Should I get the healer?" Gaeli asked tentively.

Rey shook her head. Kylo sighed at her.

"Not yet. Let her adjust." He said softly not taking his eyes off Rey. "She seems to be healing a lot better on her own, now that shes awake."

On her own?

Now that she's awake?

What?

'Ill explain later.' He do as softly in her mind.

His voice stung but was a comfort to have back. Her mind felt weird. Foreign. But Kylo was there, sending her comforting waves, calming and soothing her pain.

"Okay. But if one thing happens its on you." Gaeli said smiling.

Ben nodded amd stroked Reys cheek. She kept her eyes on him, as his own captivated hers.

"I think I know that." He said clippingly.

"Touchy." Gaeli mumbled. "Well, to be honest you two are making me sick to my stomach with all of your lovey dovey crap, so glad to see youre awake Rey and I'll just leave you to it." She made her way to the door. "And don't forget you owe her dinner first." She winked and walked out of the room.

Rey frowned and Kylo flushed a soft pink.

"Dinner?" She questioned.

"Nothing. I don't work like that either." He muttered.

"Work like what!?" She squeaked.

Talking, okay. Getting frustrated, bad.

"Stop talking Rey." He comanded.

She nodded.

"Want to know what happened?" He asked softly.

She nodded again, and pat beside her on the bed. It was unbearable big, and she loathed every empty inch. Kylo walked around to the otherside and layed beside her on the bed. She was able to shift enough to lay her head on his shoulder.

"You," He paused, at a loss for words. "You surrendered to me. I was going to kill you. But I didn't."

"Obviously." She muttered.

He gave a quick smile.

"So, Snoke decided to do it himself. He," Ben took a breath. "He tore you from the inside out. He was so occupied with... You, he didnt notice what I was doing. And I finished it." He said glaring.

Rey looked up at him, and he down back at her.

"You were dying. You were almost dead. I..." He took another breath, and she rubbed his arm. "Phasma came and told me to keep you here through our bond. It burned like hell, but it kept you here. Junu did something,"

" _Junu!?"_

There was the squeaking again.

"Hush." He said softly. "She saved you Rey. She, gave her life for you. It deserves more than enough gratitude. If she were still here I'd owe her my life."

"Ben," Rey said softly.

He pursed his lips.

"Hows mom?" Rey asked, worried.

"She's... Doing better then expected. Shell be happy to know you're okay though."

Rey nodded.

"Where are we? Exactly?" Rey asked.

Her throat protested all of the talking, but she ignored it. There were too many burning questions.

"Ogegia. The palace." He said curtly.

Rey frowned. He sounded much mkre aggravated then she would have thought.

"Why so appalled?" She asked. "Other than the obvious."

"This is your room." He retorted.

"What?"

He sighed.

"This is where you were supposed to grow up. This is what you were supposed to have. And it was taken from you Rey." He said wistfully.

"Oh,"

He nodded, and looked down at her.

"You need to sleep sweetheart. Youre still healing."

"But--"

"No buts. Ill be right beside you, and force knows I need the rest. Its been a long week Rey."

She nodded. Seeing him like this he looked years older. She noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the worry lines etched into his skin.

Sleep it is.

"Can you move?" He asked softly.

Rey nodded.

"I think so. Why?"

"I want to hold you. Youve put me through a hell of a week. I need you close."

Rey nodded and shifted slowly into his arms so that he was craddled around her. She felt safe and warm, and for the first time in a while, she didn't dread the sleep that wanted to take her. 

She had found her voice and soothed its pain.

 

She had found her home.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that
> 
> I bid thee a goodbye


End file.
